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Start Winning

kizik

By kizik
in Coping

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kizik Established Member

kizik

Posted
Posted

This thread is for those who have recently broken up, and/or those who have not fully accepted the reality and finality of their breakup.

 

It's over and it's a shock. You don't know who you are without that person. I've said previously that there are no winners and losers in breakups. I regret saying that. There are winners and losers, and both are contained within yourself.

 

You can use your breakup to Start Winning, or you can Lose. When you Start Losing after a breakup, this is what you do:

 

 

  • Consistently harass your ex or beg them incessantly, via phone calls, text, email or personally visiting them
  • Attempt to hurt them either emotionally or physically
  • Act recklessly (drinking and driving, getting into fights, etc.) with no regard for your safety or others'
  • Immediately start sleeping around, either as "vengeance" or in an attempt to distract yourself from your feelings
  • Overeat / drink a lot / smoke / use drugs

Or you can Start Winning:

 

 

  • Accept that people are free, and that your ex had every right to leave, even if you were "perfect"
  • Give them their space. No calls, texts, NOTHING. No contact
  • Take the time to reflect on what you may have done to contribute to the end of the relationship
  • Save yourself and others heartache by not dating or having sex immediately
  • Feel your emotions, as opposed to drowning them in alcohol and/or drugs
  • Make sure to eat, though your stomach hates the thought of food. If you have to, consume protein shakes or smoothies (as suggested by LS-ers)
  • Exercise. Raises your seratonin and dopamine levels.
  • Spend as much time as you can with people who truly care about you. They will help you "find yourself" again.
  • Invest time in your passions, whether these are sports, music, etc.
  • Give back to the community by volunteering

These are all suggestions found commonly on LS, but I wanted to take the time to express to you that you can use the breakup to truly Start Winning, as opposed to letting this event in your life defeat you. It is all about having a positive mindset and realizing that your attitude, and not your ex's approval of you, is what is most important.

 

To Start Winning, you have to realize that you are not a victim, but just another person whose heartbreak is a natural, common part of life. How we respond to adversity is a true demonstration of our character.

 

Good luck, and be positive!

Simon Leon Established Member

Simon Leon

Posted
Posted

I'm not really the volunteering type. I have way too much stuff I need to get done for myself to have any left over time for volunteering.....unless it's volunteering to go to the shop for more beer.

sultry33 Established Member

sultry33

Posted
Posted
This thread is for those who have recently broken up, and/or those who have not fully accepted the reality and finality of their breakup.

 

It's over and it's a shock. You don't know who you are without that person. I've said previously that there are no winners and losers in breakups. I regret saying that. There are winners and losers, and both are contained within yourself.

 

You can use your breakup to Start Winning, or you can Lose. When you Start Losing after a breakup, this is what you do:

 

 

  • Consistently harass your ex or beg them incessantly, via phone calls, text, email or personally visiting them
  • Attempt to hurt them either emotionally or physically
  • Act recklessly (drinking and driving, getting into fights, etc.) with no regard for your safety or others'
  • Immediately start sleeping around, either as "vengeance" or in an attempt to distract yourself from your feelings
  • Overeat / drink a lot / smoke / use drugs

Or you can Start Winning:

 

  • Accept that people are free, and that your ex had every right to leave, even if you were "perfect"
  • Give them their space. No calls, texts, NOTHING. No contact
  • Take the time to reflect on what you may have done to contribute to the end of the relationship
  • Save yourself and others heartache by not dating or having sex immediately
  • Feel your emotions, as opposed to drowning them in alcohol and/or drugs
  • Make sure to eat, though your stomach hates the thought of food. If you have to, consume protein shakes or smoothies (as suggested by LS-ers)
  • Exercise. Raises your seratonin and dopamine levels.
  • Spend as much time as you can with people who truly care about you. They will help you "find yourself" again.
  • Invest time in your passions, whether these are sports, music, etc.
  • Give back to the community by volunteering

These are all suggestions found commonly on LS, but I wanted to take the time to express to you that you can use the breakup to truly Start Winning, as opposed to letting this event in your life defeat you. It is all about having a positive mindset and realizing that your attitude, and not your ex's approval of you, is what is most important.

 

To Start Winning, you have to realize that you are not a victim, but just another person whose heartbreak is a natural, common part of life. How we respond to adversity is a true demonstration of our character.

 

Good luck, and be positive!

 

great post op.. always are from you too:)

 

ive highlighted the winning... as no matter what i think we are all guilty of being on the loosing path initally.. its human nature.

i have to say though once on the winning path you do feel heaps better.

thanks again:bunny:

sultry33 Established Member

sultry33

Posted
Posted
I'm not really the volunteering type. I have way too much stuff I need to get done for myself to have any left over time for volunteering.....unless it's volunteering to go to the shop for more beer.

oh go on then.. get me one:laugh::p

 

in the uk on some volunteering jobs they wont let you if you have come out of long term relationship.. im still clearing out his crap to do anything else atm though:(

sedgwick Established Member

sedgwick

Posted
Posted
oh go on then.. get me one:laugh::p

 

in the uk on some volunteering jobs they wont let you if you have come out of long term relationship.. im still clearing out his crap to do anything else atm though:(

 

Huh? You can't be a volunteer in the UK if you've been in a long-term relationship that ended?!?

sultry33 Established Member

sultry33

Posted
Posted
Huh? You can't be a volunteer in the UK if you've been in a long-term relationship that ended?!?

 

yep they class it as berevement.. it was in one of the questions i had when i did homestart.. asked if relationship had ended in the last 2 years..

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