n9688m Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Has anyone had experience with divorce or other problems related to a strongly feminist wife who decides that marriage is patriarchial and anti-woman?
TrustInYourself Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 I laughed. Anti woman my ass. Does your wife know that ancient man had many women simultaneously? Modern day marriage is a way for women to lock down the natural state of man. Marriage today is a perversion of our natural instinct as a man. We are meant to spread our seed through out the masses. Survival of the fittest and smartest and what have you. Hence, why the most attractive men are the best looking, most physically fit, and most financially secure. I'm an alpha male and quite proud. Get off me you stinky womens!
AnLandy Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I laughed. Anti woman my ass. Does your wife know that ancient man had many women simultaneously? Modern day marriage is a way for women to lock down the natural state of man. Marriage today is a perversion of our natural instinct as a man. We are meant to spread our seed through out the masses. Survival of the fittest and smartest and what have you. Hence, why the most attractive men are the best looking, most physically fit, and most financially secure. I'm an alpha male and quite proud. Get off me you stinky womens! Wow! You must be really selfish in bed if the whole purpose of your existence is to "spread your seed".
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I' say this about the feminist wives. it's kinda contradictory to be anti man and be married to one. As a man who marries a woman, that man has your back, thick and thin. IT's really counterproductive for a man to love a woman when she doesnt have their combined best interestss at heart and puts herself first selfishly. What I really think about feminists is that 90% of them are closeted lesbians and use the feminist ideology to push their own agenda. Women have made great strides in the workforce and soceity in general. If a man loves you from the depths of his core it's unfair to hold him in that position of people you perceive to enslave you.
AnLandy Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I' say this about the feminist wives. it's kinda contradictory to be anti man and be married to one. As a man who marries a woman, that man has your back, thick and thin. IT's really counterproductive for a man to love a woman when she doesnt have their combined best interestss at heart and puts herself first selfishly. What I really think about feminists is that 90% of them are closeted lesbians and use the feminist ideology to push their own agenda. Women have made great strides in the workforce and soceity in general. If a man loves you from the depths of his core it's unfair to hold him in that position of people you perceive to enslave you. I used to supervise probationers who all swore that they truly loved their wives and girlfriends, yet they beat them, degraged them, raped them, and even killed them. Feminism isn't about hating men. It's about recognizing that women should have the same opportunities to choose their own futures as men do. That future may involve marriage and children by choice. It may involve staying single and childfree by choice. It may mean working or staying home. It's about dropping the social assumptions of what a woman has to be. I have never met a man who was asked the question, "Do you intend to have children?" during a job interview.
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I used to supervise probationers who all swore that they truly loved their wives and girlfriends, yet they beat them, degraged them, raped them, and even killed them. Feminism isn't about hating men. It's about recognizing that women should have the same opportunities to choose their own futures as men do. That future may involve marriage and children by choice. It may involve staying single and childfree by choice. It may mean working or staying home. It's about dropping the social assumptions of what a woman has to be. I have never met a man who was asked the question, "Do you intend to have children?" during a job interview. I know feminisim isnt about hating men, much like the NAACP isnt about hating white people. lol. Women have the same oportunites and choices everyone else have. No one puts a gun to their heads and make them do anything they dont want to do. But in this day an age feminists are very anti men as a whole. And if you married one who had that mindset. damn well be prepared to be on the receiving end of those issues. much like the OP said.
Melovator Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I am a feminist. I am not a lesbian, I like penises and I don't hate men- I actually quite like men and think their gender role f**ks with their heads worse than ours ever did/ does. Is marriage patriarchal? Well certainly historically it was a way for women's sexuality to be controlled- ie to make sure that when a man did get his wife (who historically was considered to be his property, ie a chattel, ie not a person) knocked up, he knew the baby was his. Do I think marriage is patriarchal these days- no. These days marriage is a partnership, not a one-sided 'husband knows best and that's the final word' kind of deal. No woman getting married these days in a western country is expected to 'obey', nor is she expected to be a domestic slave (that said most of you blokes out there are still not doing your share of the housework- even when both partners are working full time- and most studies on this topic showed that if you did the dishes you'd probably get your ends in more often! Though if more women avoided noticing the little pieces of grit and complaining that you're not doing it right perhaps you'd be more inclined to do them more often...) Anyway... IMHO for any woman to decide she wants to end her marriage because of that kind of old-fashioned second wave radical thinking is preposterous. Unless her husband is an unreconstructed misogynistic neanderthal who considers her his property... in which case I could understand why she might think that but I'd probably suggest to her she just chose to get married to the wrong man. And just as an aside, most of the lesbians I know are on the blokes side when it comes to the issue of spousal support, as one of my older friends said to me "I could never get support from an ex-partner following a relationship breakdown. Why should straight women be so privileged? We're all allowed to work now."
Woggle Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 A man being married to a feminist is like a black person being married to a KK member or a jew being married to a Nazi. Feminism and a happy marriage just do not go together or else it isn't really feminism. Any man that married a feminist is marrying the enemy and he will find that out when she turns on him and decides that he is the source of all her unhappiness. I remember my mother started hanging out with a bunch of feminists and all of sudden my father was the source of all her problems and every ounce of rage she had was hurled at him. It didn't matter how much he tried to make her happy because she resented him even more. She is an example of a woman turned against her family by feminism.
Author n9688m Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 Any man that married a feminist is marrying the enemy and he will find that out when she turns on him and decides that he is the source of all her unhappiness. You got that right. In fact she now says very clearly "I'm not getting married again - I want a wife, not a husband." Mind you she is not a lesbian but rather seems simply to disapprove of the concept of marriage or at least of gender roles within marriage. Of course that raises the question of why did she get married in the first place and stay married for 14 years until this all exploded... I guess that's what a midlife crisis is about.
Woggle Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Was she a feminist when you first met her or did she become one during the marriage?
Author n9688m Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 Was she a feminist when you first met her or did she become one during the marriage? She always believed in women's equality - as did I - so I suppose you could say she was always a feminist. But during the marriage she earned a PhD in history with a strong emphasis on women's studes and subsequently worked her way up the academic ladder, so surely that had its effect in magnifying her views.
Woggle Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 She always believed in women's equality - as did I - so I suppose you could say she was always a feminist. But during the marriage she earned a PhD in history with a strong emphasis on women's studes and subsequently worked her way up the academic ladder, so surely that had its effect in magnifying her views. Women's studies are pretty classes in how to hate men so no doubt she has sitting in class learning about how men are all horrible and you became the target of that rage. My mother befriended a woman at work who started taking her to these meetings and it turned her into a monster so this is a similar situation.
Author n9688m Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 Women's studies are pretty classes in how to hate men so no doubt she has sitting in class learning about how men are all horrible and you became the target of that rage. She didn't just attend the classes - she taught them. So it is a step even beyond what you describe.
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 "I'm not getting married again - I want a wife, not a husband." Like i said closet lesbian. With statements like that I would seriously distance myself away from her. Stop associating myself with her. If she has that general hatred of men and I'm a man in logic she must hate me for all I represent. No straight man in their right mind outta anger says to their wives: I want a dick up my ass and a guy to take care of me!!! C'mon man, she has issues and what she's doing is just the ti of the iceberg. Listen N. Get away from this woman and stop thinking about her right now!!! No contact at all costs!!!!! Especially if you dont have kids!!!
Author n9688m Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 Listen N. Get away from this woman and stop thinking about her right now!!! No contact at all costs!!!!! Especially if you dont have kids!!! 2 young kids so that isn't possible - oh well
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Oh well may I suggest a very dim 180 then sir! lol. Trust me you will be better off dealing with someone else. I would have run like hell if I was you and didnt have kids.
electric_sheep Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I am a feminist. I am not a lesbian, I like penises and I don't hate men- I actually quite like men and think their gender role f**ks with their heads worse than ours ever did/ does. Are you my girlfriend? You sound just like her. I completely agree with you about male gender roles. I think it's the real reason the male life expectancy is less than that of womens, not some sort of biological imperative. Do I think marriage is patriarchal these days- no. Depends on the marriage, I'd say. It's easy to forget that even in the USA there are segments of the population that is more or less a slave to traditional ideas and paradigms. For them, social indoctrination has been so successful they honestly never question things, and the possibilities inherent in a more egalitarian world view never occurs to them. Even for the rest of us, it's impossible to free ourselves entirely. It's all a matter of degree. I'd say gender roles are alive and well in the US. More troublesome, the prejudice experienced by those who flaunt them is alive and well. Certainly things are better. Each generation seems to make progress. I still can't wear a dress to work though, even though women are free to wear pants. (that said most of you blokes out there are still not doing your share of the housework- even when both partners are working full time- Certainly not the case in my relationship. And can you believe I'm the neurotic one worrying about the grit?
bish Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Has anyone had experience with divorce or other problems related to a strongly feminist wife who decides that marriage is patriarchial and anti-woman? No, but if it gets her out of the house, great. Whatever does the trick.
torranceshipman Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Actually you're all mostly discussing miliant feminism in this thread, which is extremist and like any extremist view point - over the top and (in my view) not acceptable. Liberal feminism which should probably be discussed more here (more mainstream) is literally about believing that everyone has the right to be who they want to be as a woman, and to equality, so if you want to be a wife an stay at home mother, more power to you...if you want to not marry and work your way up the career ladder, great. If you want to be a cheerleader, great, if you want to be a single, childless but very happy lawyer with sexy bachelorette pad, great...you get the point! I am definitely a (liberal) feminist, and believe all women and men have the right to be who they are, without being told they are 'right' or 'wrong' in acting that way. Many women refer to themselves as feminists but then criticise other women for doing feminine things like being cheerleaders or stay at home mom's, like that means they're letting the side down or something...those women who criticise are NOT feminists as they are buying in to the same stereotypes that misogynist men are (just on opposing ends of the spectrum)-i.e. that if they are a self respecting woman or feminist, thy 'should' or 'shouldnt' act in a certain way. What bull. I personally love to be with a traditional guy in my home life and believe in marriage, and in traditional gender roles in the home - but I am very assertive and pretty successful in my career...I feel confident enough in rejecting stereotypes and in the feminist notion of expressing myself and being myself, as a woman, to enjoy all of that. I think feminism is actually a nice thing, but its been given a horrific name by the way its been reported, or by the way some militant F's have pushed their agenda. Remember that militant feminists are definitely in the EXTREMIST MINORITY!
dead-dyke Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 -Melovator- "most studies on this topic showed that if you did the dishes you'd probably get your ends in more often!" b o o l s h i i t e.
Lookingforward Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Has anyone had experience with divorce or other problems related to a strongly feminist wife who decides that marriage is patriarchial and anti-woman? then why did she get married at all ?
Gunny376 Posted July 4, 2008 Posted July 4, 2008 The "feminiist" movement has ruined the institution of marriage. Mel's comments aside, any man that is single has to do the cleaning, washing, sweeping, drying, folding. cooking, mopping, scrubbing ~ himself! So its just stupid if your to not doing so if your with a woman. ilmw knows what I mean now that he's single and on his on again. But as I told my last LTR GF, "I know how to scrub baseboards!" without her giving me blow-by-blow instructions as to how to do so! Women are always complaining that they earn less then men ~ its because they're always quitting jobs and carrers (mainly to have babies and because of children) but you know what? If a man changed jobs and carrers as much as your typical man, he's going to earn less than some bloke that stayed with the same job for twenty or thirty years. You can't have it both ways. And that's the problem with feminist! They want their cake and eat it too!
Woggle Posted July 4, 2008 Posted July 4, 2008 I know this is a bit off topic but Gunny brought up a good point. It annoys the hell out of me how some women act like men are little children who can't manage without a woman caring for them. When I was single I always ate well and my house was very clean. With or without a woman I will thrive. I love having a woman in my life that is actually worth what I have to offer but I can survive without her.
Author n9688m Posted July 4, 2008 Author Posted July 4, 2008 then why did she get married at all ? That's the $64M question. Perhaps her feminism became more radical over time? Perhaps it took a midlife crisis and age for her to admit her true feelings - sort of like a homosexual coming out of the closet?
Taramere Posted July 4, 2008 Posted July 4, 2008 I am definitely a (liberal) feminist, and believe all women and men have the right to be who they are, without being told they are 'right' or 'wrong' in acting that way. "You're not one of these feminists, are you?" is one of the more tedious conversational gambits that men who are ill at ease around women employ. "So, Taramere. You're a woman, eh? God. That must be awful. Then again, you lot know how to get your own way, don't you? Eh? Eh? Little damsel in distress acts. All equality until it comes to carrying the luggage, eh? EH???? So what kind of woman are you? I wonder if you're the traditional type like my old Mum who knows how to bake a nice pie and mend a pair of socks. Or perhaps you're one of this lot who burns all your bras, refuses to wash dishes and stuff like that. There must be some sort of female equivalent of the Masons where you meet every Wednesday evening to chant war cries before performing a sacrificial castration of a new member's husband. Is that the night you tell men you're 'washing your hair' eh? eh? Rules Girl are we? Hahahahaha! Do you practice witchcraft? Are you a lesbian? Do you keep a cage full of anorexic eunuchs in your flat and force-feed them rose petals and lavender-flavoured ice-cream every evening? Do you own, or have you ever owned, a cat???" "Are you asking if I'm a feminist?" "You're not, are you?" "If I say I am, will you lose interest in me? "Immediately." "I'm a feminist."
Recommended Posts