mixwell Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Okay for those that know the story here is an update. For those that don't please see link: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t155924/ Updates as of now: After not seeing each other for about a week we schedule to hang out on Saturday. I didn't let the past issues of me paying for everything/her not driving etc come up and I even planned out a dinner and a date afterwards. Basically we both had a lot of fun and she mentioned that she was very impressed that I went outta my way to make it an eventful night (sex was the best too this time around). She stayed the night and I took her home the next day and went about my routine. She called me at night time and asked ME if she could come over (mind you she believes in the guy courting the girl) but she explained she was soo impressed etc.. So at this point I think its cool that even though we don't see eye to eye that she did compromise her beliefs in dating to come see me (which she did state) So I know she does like me a lot and is interested. So she comes over and when I was in the restroom she was on my computer and my myspace was logged in. She had asked me before about a girl and I said we dated 5 years ago and she was a friend. She noticed a comment the girl left me and went on her profile (from my login since my friends' page is private) and saw a seemingly flirty comment by me which by the way was more of an inside joke. Anyways we talked about it and I told her my side of the story that we were friends and when I told her that I was only interested in her thats what I meant. She wanted me to walk her out to her car so the night consisted of us talking about this situation. She simple just said bye and we didn't continue the convo. Later on she texted me saying "sry" and then called me but I was pissed off that she would act like that so I ignored it. After telling her I think she should see someone else and that I was kinda creeped out by her taking advantage of my login to see the girls profile she proceeded to tell me her side. She admitted she was wrong and that she didn't even mean to make the situation a big deal and admitted she was wrong and was more curious about the girl than jealous. She claims she didn't intentionally go to her profile cuz she knew I was logged in and I sort of believe her because shes not very computer smart and she didn't attempt to close the page when I walked in so she didn't seem like she had anything to hide. So after we hang up the phone which was to seem like our last convo I text her saying "I'm sorry it ended like this I really liked you and enjoyed the time we did get to spend together" she basically text me back saying the same thing and saying I'm sorry for the way I acted. I really believe she was genuine and she is a prideful person and I respected that she but her ego aside to openly admit that she was wrong about it and misjudged the situation and I can tell she was legit in her apology. All day at work today I felt sick to my stomach and started to think that I might have made a mistake. Even though we've been talking 2 months and dating 1 month for some reason I feel a huge attraction to this girl both looks and personality wise. When we are together we have soo much fun and get along great. I can truly say I have never felt this feeling of saddening over a relationship with any other girl except my ex-friend which ended 4 years ago. Most my family and my friend say I shouldn't get involved with a 19 year old and let the signs of how she was on her dating principles be a sign that things would only get worse. I think if her and I could find common ground (which seemed to start happening the day before this event) I think we would be very compatible. I don't want to ignore advice from outside perspectives (family friends) because I know they have a an unemotional viewpoint from it but part of me really wants to try and work things out with her but part of me says that the advice my peers have given me will be right and I will regret it in the long run. My question is should I go with my gut instinct and try to work something out or should I take the logical advice I have been given. I know I will get over it if I did from a 7 year relationship and I'm most likely feeling this way because I do really like this girl (very odd since most other girls I dated I had no feelings involved with) but I would hate to cut it short instead of seeing where things could have gone. Should I just let the early disagreements be a sign and be glad to get out of it early on or should I try to work it out not that we have more of an emotional connection. I do know that this girl feels the same way as I do for her just by things she has said and the way she acted around me. Tomcat, JillyBean hope you guys drop by since you know my whole story ^_^ Wow I never thought I would be in this jam but any advice is appreciated from all.. Peace.
Jilly Bean Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Mix - this is what I think. She effed up. She apologized for it numerous times. You chose to dig in your heels and tell her to walk. I don't think what she did was a crime. Something I think most people would do with someone they are dating. I also think the break-up was a bit of karmic retribution for all the bitching you've done about her. lol. So, here's my advice. IF and ONLY IF you can let go of all of this princess, Im tired of paying, she's using me, Im not driving anymore garbage, then call her and get her back. BUT, be really, really honest with yourself, Mixwell. Are you just missing her because you broke up and it's fresh and it's a little ego-crushing that she walked away so easily OR, do you genuinely care for this girl? But as I said - IF and ONLY IF you can honestly get past all of your prior ranting on her behavior and accept her AS SHE IS, then go get her. But if you are going to continue to harbor the resentments towards her you have, then just move on. Perhaps this needed to happen to snap you out of your attitudes towards her. Maybe you needed to lose her to realize what you had.
Author mixwell Posted July 2, 2008 Author Posted July 2, 2008 Mix - this is what I think. She effed up. She apologized for it numerous times. You chose to dig in your heels and tell her to walk. I don't think what she did was a crime. Something I think most people would do with someone they are dating. I also think the break-up was a bit of karmic retribution for all the bitching you've done about her. lol. So, here's my advice. IF and ONLY IF you can let go of all of this princess, Im tired of paying, she's using me, Im not driving anymore garbage, then call her and get her back. BUT, be really, really honest with yourself, Mixwell. Are you just missing her because you broke up and it's fresh and it's a little ego-crushing that she walked away so easily OR, do you genuinely care for this girl? But as I said - IF and ONLY IF you can honestly get past all of your prior ranting on her behavior and accept her AS SHE IS, then go get her. But if you are going to continue to harbor the resentments towards her you have, then just move on. Perhaps this needed to happen to snap you out of your attitudes towards her. Maybe you needed to lose her to realize what you had. Aww Jilly to the rescue -=) Seriously all BS aside I can get over the fact that we might disagree on certain dating topics but I was the one to end it and could've easily accepted her apology and continued with it.. I talked to my sister today and she said if you really like this girl then F it... My friend has given me some good insight but I feel like what I've told him has came across as all negative so he has that viewpoint of her. I really do care for this girl and I have no problem putting my ego aside to admit I like her despite what advice my friend has given although good intentions. I think I might try to talk to her tonight to let her know whats up.. I'm over the whole paying for this and that and I really feel a connection with this girl or else I wouldn't even waste my time messaging on here or talking with family members about the scenario.. Thanks for the input Jilly I appreciate it..
Jilly Bean Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 I'm over the whole paying for this and that and I really feel a connection with this girl Atta boy!!!! I'm so happy you figured this out. Your feelings are stronger for her than the pettiness of who pays and who drives. Like I said, it apparently took losing her to realize this. Now, go get your girl, Mix!!!
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