wierdmunky Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 okay so romantic love love is oozing out of my butterflying freakn heart right now when I'm with this person. We've dated for like hmm 6 months? (we dont do the month to month celebration thing) and I don't know if I should do it already,.. or should I wait,.. or wait till I scream it out on accident. We have a lot of fun when were together and he seems really into me so I'm just wondering when and do you even try to make it something serious or let it ride ?? or how did you do it.
Keridan Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 I started with "Love ya" instead of "I love you". Made it more casual so that if she didn't want to say it back, she wouldn't feel horrible. I honestly think the first person to say it is the one with the most courage. There is no rule book. Often the woman will wait for the guy, but if the guy is a coward, yer screwed Good luck!
saraispiel19 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 ha kerdian your busted on that because my husband told me that he loved me like wow the first month we started dating-- you know what I did.. I hung up the phone- eep! I say wait for the guy to say it OR even better you can say to him "______ i think i'm falling in love with you" and if he freaks out he's not ready for the L word and if he melts well just wait till he says it! p.s. how old are you anyways? love is well different when your say 15/16 than when your 23/24..
jerbear Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 I'm just wondering when and do you even try to make it something serious or let it ride ?? or how did you do it. Just say it in promptu. Let it ride and for us guys, I usually say let her say it first. Some places and times not to say it. During sex or cuddling time after sex.
mixwell Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Traditionally I've noticed the woman seem to say it first. I think if you feel that you love him you should just let him know in a casual way like the poster above me said as you hang out up the phone or end the night. A simple "love you" wouldn't hurt when you guys part or hang up in my opinion. Who knows maybe he feels the same way but doesn't want to scare you off my saying it first. Besides I think a "love you" after 6 months is totally appropriate. Now if you were to say after the 1st month then I could see him being a little freaked out. GL !!
Keridan Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Haha ... you hung up on him? I can do you one better ... the first girl I told slapped me ... hard. I didn't cry (till she was gone) and we ended up very happy for a whole like 5 months.
saraispiel19 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 lol ouch! the twist is that afterwards when we went out to eat a few days later we had this huge conversation about saying "i love you" until you truly felt you meant it. Few days later I ended up saying it- it slipped up without me noticing- gosh I felt like such a LOSER after I realized what I said. Senario: Him: "Hey I'm going to go and talk to some friends be right back" Me: "Okay babe Love you bye"-- point of realization--- "aw sh*t" but I will always remember that goofy look on his face after I said it. Gosh I love him.
Author wierdmunky Posted July 2, 2008 Author Posted July 2, 2008 ha kerdian your busted on that because my husband told me that he loved me like wow the first month we started dating-- you know what I did.. I hung up the phone- eep! ow! and a tad bit jealous! lol But wutever I guess I'll just wait or not wait. I kinda don't want to keep it too planned out or I'll start feeling forced. p.s. how old are you anyways? love is well different when your say 15/16 than when your 23/24.. I'm 26.
saraispiel19 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 I'm 26. okay fewf! Well your an adult do as you please :-)
Keridan Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 You should wait till a really inappropriate moment and spit it out. It will take the tension off. Wait till he's in the bathroom and shout it through the door. Wait till he's talking on the phone with his mother. Spit it out in the middle of an argument. Sorry, it's a tough one because there is so much emotion tied up with those three words.
jerbear Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Random times during a conversation with his mom? That is bad! Us guys already have another woman to deal with (aka mom) we don't need an "I love you" where mom can hear. That would definitely give the guy some stress.
saraispiel19 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 no bad advice kerd. I would HATE it if someone said that to me while I was busy.. during an argument though sounds very sweet- but for a guy he would just think that she is just trying to get out of trouble so it's a no go. I say tell him "i think i'm falling in love with you" and see what his response is. OR.. you could write it down if you guys go to the beach on some sand... writing it down so he can see would be so great :-)
Keridan Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Writing it down is better advice than mine Meanie. The main thing seems to be just to find a way to say it so that the whole time together doesn't depend on the response.
Lauriebell82 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Please don't ever say "love ya." That's dumb and it doesn't mean "i love you." I think you should say it at a really great moment. Maybe a time when you are hugging him. As you are leaning back say "I love you." Simple as that!
Shygirl15 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Who's supposed to say "I love you" first anyway!! Whoever feels that way first, should be the first one to say it.
Author wierdmunky Posted December 8, 2008 Author Posted December 8, 2008 I know this sounds stupid... I asked a psychic if it was "too early" and she said yes, now is not the time:mad: lol
IrishCarBomb Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 I know this sounds stupid... I asked a psychic if it was "too early" and she said yes, now is not the time:mad: lol It's still an issue for you 5 months later?
RecordProducer Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 p.s. how old are you anyways? love is well different when your say 15/16 than when your 23/24..... and if you're 33 or 43, you're too old anyway... I mean, what you doing dating? You should be watching your grandchildren! I remember the times when I thought that people died at 32 of old age!
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 It's still an issue for you 5 months later? Haha...good point. I was noticing how old the OP was. Dang. So nearly a year dating and the psychic thinks it's too early. Did she also promise you'd be pregnant within the next year?
BlueHarvest Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 When should you say it though? 2 months into dating? 4? 6? I know its subjective to being exlusive dating partners for awhile but just curious.
D-Jam Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 I hate to say it, but the woman should say it first. Main reason is that society looks down on men too much as "weak" when they show emotion. I know it sounds cowardly, but based on observation and experiences, women tend to get scared off more when the guy says "I love you" first. Kind of like how guys get scared off of women who show interest rather than play hard to get. Yes it's childish and even I think it's ridiculous...but I'm not thinking of my own personal logic and more of what I've seen of society as a whole.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 I've never said it first, and most likely never will. I keep my feelings at bay until he says it, too.
D-Jam Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 I think I understand why you feel that way. My logic was mostly based on the perceived societal norms that women are supposed to be emotional while men are supposed to be low in emotion and sensitivity. Sucks too...my GF and I were watching two classics last night. "Holiday Inn" and "White Christmas". She thought Bing Crosby, Fred Astaire, and Danny Kaye were so charming and talented, but she felt like in today's world too many women would think they were gay. She mentioned how her female coworkers tend to look at men who could dance, dress nice, or even be gentleman and question if they were homosexuals...as if straight men aren't allowed to be those things. Kinda shows everyone where society is...why so many men are fearful to be sensitive, emotional, and even at times romantic. Now with women also refraining from being emotional...it only makes me wonder how more "messed up" dating will be for both genders. And I'm not assigning blame on any one gender.
amymarieca Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Based on my past experiences, I say it's a bad idea for the woman to say it first. Guys need more time to assess their feelings. They don't deal with emotion the same way that we do. Our brains are wired based on emotion and commitment. A guy's is mostly on logic. I said it once to a guy after 5 months, and only because I was pretty damn sure he felt the same way. I got dumped!
JoeNat Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Orrr you could make it like a mistake... I sent flowers to her work and I ordered them over the phone. So when came time for the card the lady goes and what do you want the card to say... I said "I miss you very much, hope these cheer you up"... Well apparently she didn't hear that and the card read "I love you very much". The girl called and said Girl: did you write this card? Me: Yeah, well I did it over the phone why? Girl: Cause it says "I love you very much" Me: WHAT!!!! Girl: Well I love you too!!! Go with stating you think your falling in love... it is simple and fool proof! Good luck!!
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