dazed.1 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Every now and then I immediately think of him, and think “oh my god, I haven’t talked to him in weeks!” like this is so strange to me.....he used to be there for me, and now he is not. Things happen in my life and I think “I need to tell him!” but then it hits me, I can not, he isn’t my comfort zone anymore. This is to weird, I see his face in my mind and it doesn’t bring comfort, it is all pain. Everything happened so suddenly, I don’t really know if I am still in shock or if I am truly accepting what happened. We were so in love.....how am I supposed to forget all that? Sometimes I don’t think there is enough time in the world! But I don’t want to waste my life! I am so lost. My emotions are all over the map, I just don’t know what is happening. I want to feel normal again, I don’t want to be sad anymore. I think I cry everyday. It has been 2 weeks since breakup and NC and I still cry at least once a day; not for too long, just a couple seconds usually, then I look at things logically and snap myself out of it. I hate crying, I hate wasting my time on him, thinking about him, wasting my feelings and energy on him, he doesn’t deserve any of me! But I can’t stop, I hate that he has done this to me...he has made me weak....you know he used to isolate me from my friends and family, and then would tell me I was too needy, and dependant on him. That truly messed me up. I was so strong before him. I need to get back to that, I need to find who I used to be.
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