ajolie1982 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 My Faince of almost 4 years just told me he's having a son this month with another girl due two day on the anniversay of my mother death (nice huh )(only after I found his wallet and called her ). Now we are broken up and he has gotten all his stuff out if our house yesterday while our dauhter was at school . When he left he said he couldn't live with out me and he was going to end it now. Well this morning he texted me that He asked God show him sign of life n death n her showed him a picture of me. He want to start going to church and counseling. He said he's going to take care of his son ( which we have been trying to have another child ) and not have a relationship with the mother , who by the way told me the same thing . I don't know how to cope with this and what to do ? I know I sound so stupid and pathetic. I know I don't need him and I can do it on my own. I feel like if I can suvive my mother dying when I was 17 I can do anything but how to I cope with him having the baby I thought we wanted with someone else ? Do I try ? Do I walk away ? This man got my heart in a box and I can't even find the key . I don't have anyone to talk to so Im reaching out to you guys. This month is very hard for me with my mom passing on the 19th and the baby named Brady is due the 17th . If anyone has any advice I would be very greatful thank you .
critter909 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 First, your situation is not pathetic, it's difficult. There are no easy answers here I personally could not take back a man who has cheated, and in fact even had a baby with another woman. But some people can deal with this. My mom took my dad back after he did the same thing and their marriage has survived. They never talk about it so I'm not sure how much my mom has forgiven him but it has been over ten years. You really have to take your time, especially with kids involved, and make sure you will be able to forgive him. Don't forget that this new baby will always be in your life if you stay with him, you will have a reminder of his infidelity forever. Like I said, no easy answers. I don't think there is anything wrong with going to counseling, even if you don't reconcile, it may help you cope with the situation.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 First and foremost, you need to make peace with it within yourself before you can make peace with him. I am not saying he is some evil slime that will always be, these are things he has to work out for himself. So, don't feel bad if you have to tell him no or that it will take time or even if you choose not to be with him at all. If you believe in God, maybe you can pray to him and talk to your pastor. Go in for counseling for yourself so you can have a face to face with someone to talk about your feelings. And if you feel comfortable, have some sessions with your man. Maybe he has learned a valuable lesson and is worth staying with. Now the next thing you have to deal with is the fact either way there are two of kids involved. Your's and his new son. Are you calm and rational enough to deal with this if you stay with him? And despite what he saids, he is going to be attached to this woman for the rest of his life because she had his child and he is going to be financially (and if he is anything of a real man and father, emotionally, spiritually, and physically) responsible in another household for 18 years. You have to figure out can you handle that. Hopefully you aren't the kid of woman to take things out on the child because of the circumstances of the adults who produced him. I pray for you strength, patience, wisdom, and clarity for what you will have to go through. DNR
sedgwick Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Oh god sweetie...you're a teenager? The very best thing you could possibly do is get away from the drama and do whatever you can to make your life better for yourself and the child you already have. Why are you trying to have ANOTHER baby? Please, please, please, go get an education and show your child that the most important thing she can do is get one too. I had a little trouble understanding your post so if I'm wrong about this, forgive me. But it sure seems like maybe this guy could have asked for a sign from god when he was about to cheat on you and get another woman pregnant...kind of a case of too little too late, don't you think?
Author ajolie1982 Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 I'm 25 years old he's 30. My mother past when I was 17. And he wants to go the couseling and church togther .
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