Angry that I didnt call her

[Mikey Trash]

So I have been dating this girl for 6 weeks now, and overall is great. We talk on the phone, text, and IM daily to talk about each others day and we see each other on the weekends. She wants to take the relationship slow because of past relationships, which I can understand. However the past few days has been strange and I am wondering what exactly is going wrong.

 

This past Friday she went with her friends to Boston for the weekend. While heading there she sent me a text saying that the guy who is dating her friend who she is traveling with asked her to call him when she got there just to make sure she got there safely. I texted my girl with a humorous response, then afterwards told her to let me know when she arrived as well and she did. Saturday she calls me to say hi and chat for a few minutes, later on she texted me saying that she misses me and I said the same thing too. I went out saturday night and got hammered and came home. Sunday I realized that I left my phone in my friends car and I dont remember his # so I was freaking out 'cause I wanted to call her and I needed it for work for the week. I got a hold of him online and told him i left the phone in the car and needed to get it. I got it at 1130 pm and checked my phone for missed calls but nothing from her. At this time I figured she was asleep and didnt want to wake her up.

 

So monday I usually get a text from her at 11am, but nothing. I get home from work and IM her....I had a feeling that she was pissed about me not contacting her and told her what happened, but she was pissed off about it because she mentioned friday about calling her to see that got home safely like that "Guy" her friend is dating did. I apologized for not calling her and told her i didnt want to wake her up in the middle of the night to say hi. I figured she'd cool off and be ok tuesday. Well that didnt happen.

Friday we are suppose to go together to my friends 4th of July BBQ and I asked her if she was looking forward to it and she said she was before but not now because of Sunday. I tried to give in and just say she was right, i screwed up, and im sorry but didnt work. So she said that she just wants to be left alone until friday, so she can cool down and not take her anger out on me, and so she can miss me a little more.

 

Now tell me if this is considered normal at 6 weeks of dating. Its not like she was flying in an airplane through a thunderstorm. She was driving with her friends 3 hours north to Boston and back a few days later. She starting saying something like "I could be in a ditch somewhere and you wouldnt know it."

 

I just dont know what to do??? I know she's gonna cool down by friday but how can you really freak out because I didnt call her. She wanted to take the relationship slowly but she makes it seem like we've been dating for years that I should be really concerned. I have a dangerous job, and at any time I could be killed just like that but I dont need her to call me when i get home from work to make sure im still alive.

 

Is there any advise that could help me out with this

-Thanks

[backto1]

Ouch...

 

My girlfriend used to say things like this, but only after we'd dated for a couple of years. It eventually caused a lot of resentment in me. When you guys are on talking terms again, sit down and have a nice chat. Go the extra mile to listen to her and understand her side but also explain how it makes you uncomfortable when she says the "I could be in a ditch somewhere" thing.

 

I wouldn't automatically dump her forever right now but keep your eyes open and take it slow. Don't want to get too attached with a big red flag flying above.

[Jilly Bean]

Oh, I would say that is a giant-size red flag, hon.

 

She's now punishing you because you lost your phone? Egads.

 

It's your call if you want to put up with this, but I have to think most guys would tell her to walk. She's making you into a pussy...

[Balthazar]

This is a tricky situation Mikey and possibly a test.

 

Your GF is ,clearly, being unreasonable. And when this happens, it is usually the signs of a test.

The test in this case is to see how much see can get away with, and ,effectively training you to be a pussy(as Jilly so aptly mentioned).

 

Now I understand that you have strong feelings for your GF and don't want to lose her.

 

In theory, it may seem that by standing up to her and calling her out on her behavior you risk losing her.

 

Yet the truth is that you must put her in her place if your relationship is to have balance and a chance to survive.

 

If she gets away with such behavior this time, you can be certain she will do it again.

 

How far are you willing to cave in to her demands?

 

And what happens when she gets bored of being with a guy who just does what she says?

 

I hope these thoughts help...

 

CHeers,

[Ruby Slippers]

I think she's either scared that you don't care that much about her or that you didn't really lose your phone and were possibly with another woman Saturday. Of course, these are just guesses, but I can't think of any other explanation for her overreaction. If she really believed you about losing your phone, I doubt she'd be pulling this.

 

I think she's not telling you this because it's easier for her to pull away and assume the worst, and it's too early for her to show you that kind of vulnerability. I had a bad habit of doing the same kind of thing when I was younger. Unfortunately, if the guy didn't make the effort to pull it out of me, I would write him off and move on. It's not healthy or right, and I've come a long way, but sometimes a little encouragement from the guy to talk about what was really going on helped. It showed me he cared.

 

You can try to get her to talk about what she's really thinking, or you can leave it entirely up to her. The healthy thing to do is leave it up to her to come to you with any fears or concerns, but in the real world, that doesn't always work.

[tanbark813]

What JB and Balthazar said. Ignore her until Friday and then if she pouts or is in a bad mood that day tell her she's being ridiculous.

[Krytie TV]

I hope this isn't a foundation for her future behavior. This unrealistic pouting could really develop into something spectacularly horrible if it is fostered. This sounds like the early behavior of my ex-wife that I didn't pay enough attention to when I should have.

[Linux]

Shes ****ing another guy and is looking for an excuse to get mad at you. It's over bro move along.