XxBacktoBlackXx Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I met this guy through Facebook. He initiated contact with me. We started chatting on and off. He lives in the same town as I do and he asked me to hang out with him this week. Originally, we were going to meet today but I have been really tired from my work week, so I said tomorrow would be better. Anyway, I enjoy chatting with him however, he is really overenthusiastic and I don't know if this is a red flag. We just started chatting a few days ago and he already told his boss all about me. He also said that he stayed up until 4 and 5 in the morning cleaning his apartment and car for me. I appreciate the effort as it shows that he is looking forward to seeing me, but I thought it was strange because he had to get up at 8 this morning. I was really dumb and gave him my address because he was going to pick me up today. He also knows where I work. He said he should stop by sometime but I said I am not allowed to have visitors (I'm not). I know somebody who knows him, so I don't feel threatened but should I just say I want our communication/meetings to go slowly because I got out of a relationship 2 months ago? I don't know what to say. I really like chatting with him but at the same time, I get an odd vibe. Don't know how to explain it? P.S. Overall, though, I'm just happy that I'm done with the Breaking Up forum and the Coping forum. I feel so much better and am really moving on!!
refurb Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 That's a little weird. I mean, it's not uncommon for a guy to get excited about a girl and put forth effort to impress her, but it's weird to actually tell her about it when you haven't even gone on one date. I don't necessarily thing it's a red flag, the guy could just be really inexperienced with the whole dating thing. Then again, it could also indicate a form of social retardation. RF
SeraBella Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 In my experience it's usually been a red flag, but I don't think it means it is always one. I am always put off by too much enthusiasm. I mean, yes it feels great for someone to like you THAT much, and hopefully you think you are worthy of that type of attention and enthusiasm; but you wonder WHY is he doing that before you've even met. I prefer the praise to be when it is actually due...otherwise it's not nearly as effective. So, if I were you, I'd proceed slowly. It is still soon from your last breakup, so you may still be in the rebound area, and this guy seems to be moving pretty quickly - so without caution it could turn into something crazy if you aren't paying attention. But, it could also turn into the best relationship you've ever had. Good luck, tonight.
Jilly Bean Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 The overzealous cleaning is not a sign, but telling his boss all about you certainly is. Just shows that he is easily caught up in the fantasy of who you are, rather than waiting for the reality of you. But, that being said, you're a smart cookie, and I am glad you are ready to move on!
backto1 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Don't know about the boss thing...that's a little weird if he hasn't even seen you in person. But about the cleaning thing - I think that's an example of "it's not what you say, it's how you say it." I mean if he joked around about being up til 5 cleaning and mentioned that he's been meaning to anyways then it sounds normal. But if calls and says "hey baby, I cleaned up my house until 5 AM just for you and our future babies" it would be weird. Know what I mean?
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