MsCrazy Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I need some advice here. Anyone please comment. I broke up with BF after an argument. We have had many other problems also it wasn’t just one argument. Anyways we have been together for about 4 years. We didn’t talk at all for about 3 months, and then recently he told me he is leaving, and he wanted to see me so we didn’t leave everything so bad between us. I went to go see him, and we had so much fun. Of course we were both on our best behavior. He was telling me how he is getting help and seeing a therapist 2 times a week. I am also seeing a therapist as well. He told me that he thinks there were things we could have done to make the R work, before I just left like I did. He said he knows he messed up and wants to make himself better. I feel like we were in 2 completely different R! I think we fought too much, and he doesn’t see it that way at all. It’s weird. He told me that if I wanted him to stay that he would. I just know that if he stayed it would end the same way, since not enough time has passed for either of us to really change. He is moving next week, and it’s basically up to me. I told him to move, and we would still talk occasionally. He wants to know if one day we will get back together, but I told him I didn’t know and that it wouldn’t be anytime soon. It’s just so hard, because we did have some good memories, and he has always been there for me no matter what. I don’t know if I should tell him to stay. We wouldn’t get back together but at least I could see him every now and then. I just don’t want to make the same mistakes again. I feel like the only way we could ever make it work is if he works on himself first. It’s just so hard to make that decision. Of course I am going to miss him. I don’t know that many people. He said to me that R were work, and I just said well they shouldn’t be that much work. And he basically said it is because we both have been through a lot of S**T in our lives, and that’s why we both need therapy. Please help! What would you do?
Author MsCrazy Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 So no one is going to give me advice? I mean when is enough enough? We didn't cheat on eachother or anything, but I don't know if the things we have been through are excuseable. If someone verbally abuses you but they want to get help would you maybe give them another chance? ANYONE PLEASE?
justaman99 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 He told me that if I wanted him to stay that he would. I just know that if he stayed it would end the same way, since not enough time has passed for either of us to really change. He is moving next week, and it’s basically up to me. Let him go on his way. Not enough time has passed. You feel how you feel and that's that. Go with your gut and don't over analyze or feel pressure to make a decision that's against what you feel inside is right. He said to me that R were work, and I just said well they shouldn’t be that much work. Some relationships don't take a lot of work and some do. I believe in both cases they can be successful.
arm7d Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I agree go with your gut. 4 years is a long time but its also clear not enough time has passed for things to start fresh. If you ask him to stay just make sure you're clear about what will happen if he does.
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