cosmic_charlie Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 been seeing my gf now for 6 months. everything is going very well. neither of us have ever said i love you yet. i think i do love her. but i find myself having difficulties saying it. i know most couples probably say it all the time, and much sooner than 6 months. i'm pretty sure she loves me too. but i don't want to come out and say it, and then get any response other than i love you too. and if i were to say it, when would i say it? after sex when we're both lying in each other's arms? at dinner? wtf? when do i say it? i need help! thanks.
Art_Critic Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 This is of course my own opinion... I would never tell a woman I loved her for the first time right after/during sex.. In her eyes she will wonder if you really meant it and it will cloud the whole deal.. If you are having trouble finding the words then why not send/bring her some flowers and go to Hallmark Cards and pick out a nice card with some humor in it and then sign it " Love " that might break the ice for thw words to come out next... Other wise just look her in her eyes.. make sure there are no distractions like a tv on and tell her you love her.. don't tell her you think you love her.. just that you love love her. If you use the word think it will lead to more uncertainies in her mind.. Be sure of yourself and just tel her...
Lauriebell82 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Hmm, well I think it's always good to pick a romantic moment. I actually think it's romantic to say it after sex when you are lying in each other's arms. My bf told me he loved me for the first time when we in bed..it's was soooooo wonderful and romantic. I couldn't have asked for a better moment. I agree that you shouldn't say "I think I love you" or "I'm falling in love with you." If you love her just say "i love you." Simple as that. Do you get the impression that she loves you? Does she give you any signs (saying things like "i love being close to you") My boyfreind said that a few days before he told me for the first time. I think that if you love her you should just come out and say it. 6 months is a long time to be in a relationship, so I really wouldn't worry too much about it being "too soon" for her. Good luck!!!!
quankanne Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 my husband started out with "you know I love you dearly" the first dozen or so times he said it, then it graduated to "I love you." I guess that was his way of easing into the situation? there's nothing sweeter than those words, "I love you," and I remember the agony of knowing when (and where) to announce them for the first time. My thought? Just wait for a nice, easy peaceful moment when you're kicking back (but not after sex!) to tell her for the first time. Then just build up from there (including after/during sex). Because after saying it a few times, it gets easier.
Lauriebell82 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 my husband started out with "you know I love you dearly" the first dozen or so times he said it, then it graduated to "I love you." I guess that was his way of easing into the situation? there's nothing sweeter than those words, "I love you," and I remember the agony of knowing when (and where) to announce them for the first time. My thought? Just wait for a nice, easy peaceful moment when you're kicking back (but not after sex!) to tell her for the first time. Then just build up from there (including after/during sex). Because after saying it a few times, it gets easier. Why is everyone saying not to say it after sex??? My bf said it and it was so wonderful.
Art_Critic Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Why is everyone saying not to say it after sex??? My bf said it and it was so wonderful. I think to some women that they don't think the guy was being for real.. that he was caught up in the moment and he just said it and didn't mean it..
Lauriebell82 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I think to some women that they don't think the guy was being for real.. that he was caught up in the moment and he just said it and didn't mean it.. Oh yeah I suppose I could see how that could happen.
Leikela Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I agree that the best time for me was when we were lying in eachother's arms after sex, in bed. It was the perfect time and I will never forget that! I think from a female's perspective, it shows that the sex is not just about lust. That the sex meant more; came from a deeper place. That's probably why we prefer that moment. Say it when you're feeling it strongly, not some planned moment. It's meant to be somewhat spontaneous. Best of luck to you and just go for it!
quankanne Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I don't think that's where I want to hear it for the very first time because I'd be doubtful if he actually cares for me or if he's saying that just because he got into my pants!
Star Gazer Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Why is everyone saying not to say it after sex??? My bf said it and it was so wonderful. I wouldn't take him seriously. Not for a minute. I'd think he was in love with my vagina, not me.
Lauriebell82 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I don't think that's where I want to hear it for the very first time because I'd be doubtful if he actually cares for me or if he's saying that just because he got into my pants! I would think it would be the reverse, that a guy would say it BEFORE having sex to get in your pants. The deed is done so why would he need to say it afterward? So the girl doesn't feel guilty for sleeping with him?
Star Gazer Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I would think it would be the reverse, that a guy would say it BEFORE having sex to get in your pants. The deed is done so why would he need to say it afterward? So the girl doesn't feel guilty for sleeping with him? To make her feel less used and alleviate his own guilt.
blind_otter Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I wouldn't take him seriously. Not for a minute. I'd think he was in love with my vagina, not me. Word. I agree completely. I would find it really hard to believe.
Lauriebell82 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I wouldn't take him seriously. Not for a minute. I'd think he was in love with my vagina, not me. I don't think all guys think like that. Maybe sleezebag players. If it's a committed relationship that has lasted awhile, and you have had sex on a regular basis then Idon't see what the harm would be. If the guy said it the first time he slept with her I could see. I don't know, I guess it depends on the guy then.
Lauriebell82 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Maybe because it worked out nice for me I think about it like that. I suppose if I got played by some horny jerk off then I might view it as everyone else does.
Art_Critic Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Word. I agree completely. I would find it really hard to believe. that is the exact reason I wouldn't do it during/after sex.. I would want my words to be believed.. to be taken at face value and to be taken seriously.. that I meant them and no outside influences (ie: the vagina ) had helped blurt it out.. It is only the first time that it is said that I would want it to be that special.. eye to eye and not naked...
Leikela Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I don't think that's where I want to hear it for the very first time because I'd be doubtful if he actually cares for me or if he's saying that just because he got into my pants! Hey, these are just opinions. Obviously we aren't all going to feel the same way. That's why we're unique! Personally, it was said to me after sex and it was the perfect moment. It told me that it wasn't just sex, that it meant more than that. Us women should know if a man is just trying to get into our pants!! Besides it wasn't the first time we had sex. It was a happy ending too because now we're married!
quankanne Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 it's because I'd be doubtful of his feelings. "He had to wait until we were in the sack to be prompted to say those things?" would be running through my head. And because I'm the kind of person who'd rather hear those words in the middle of a laid-back, easy-going moment; I would feel that his actions necessitated the words.
Lauriebell82 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 that is the exact reason I wouldn't do it during/after sex.. I would want my words to be believed.. to be taken at face value and to be taken seriously.. that I meant them and no outside influences (ie: the vagina ) had helped blurt it out.. It is only the first time that it is said that I would want it to be that special.. eye to eye and not naked... I think the bottom line is that the OP needs to find a way that is best for both him and his gf. It should be a romantic moment no matter where that should be (other than like a monster truck rally or something) and look her in the eyes and tell her. It will be very special for both of you.
Jilly Bean Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 This is funny. The first time Baller told me he loved me, we had just had sex. I said, "Pfft. You know I never believe nor hold a man to anything he says in bed." So, he jumped up, went into the bathroom, and then said it to me there. I think it's fine to say it after sex, particularly since you have been dating so long and have a history. Just continue to say it in other places afterwards.
Lauriebell82 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 This is funny. The first time Baller told me he loved me, we had just had sex. I said, "Pfft. You know I never believe nor hold a man to anything he says in bed." So, he jumped up, went into the bathroom, and then said it to me there. I think it's fine to say it after sex, particularly since you have been dating so long and have a history. Just continue to say it in other places afterwards. lol, aww that's so cute.
KinAZ Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 For me, the least creepy declaration of love was said very casually as part of a larger statement. We weren't arguing, but rather, passionately discussing. "I love you and I don't want you to [something]." That sort of thing. It just flowed out naturally, no pressure on me to say it back or anything like that. And it probably seemed more sincere to me than when he put on a grand show just to tell me. The thing about it is that everyone is different. I didn't need some romantic display of him telling me that he was IN love, and for me... that probably meant more than it did when he tried to put emphasis on the L word.
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