saraispiel19 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I'm still angry (it's been about two weeks now) about finding out all thoes ugly websites that my husband signed up for (discreet sex sites) and emails he hid. I'm still upset with him, and i've been resorting to drinking (i'm not a drunk and I don't really drink but now I have been a lot more). I quit smoking a long time ago and find myself craving it ever so badly... Any suggestions? p.s. we are at the midst of trying to "work things out" Oh P.S.S. on top of all this my supposibly BESTFRIEND emailed him a few days ago (thinking that I was going to terminate the marriage) offered herself to him (she cheated on HER husband various times) through email (she just recently got his email while i was staying at HER house when this all happened.. great friend huh?)--- but I know other than her offering herself to him now has nothing to do with what happened she has had no previous involvment with my husband and I know that for a fact since she lives in a 20 hour drive away from here. Grr. Sometimes I just want to hit him. repeatedly.
Keridan Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It must be incredibly frustrating! I have read several of your posts and you seem like a very nice, very caring wife. He is lucky to have you and stupid to screw with a good thing! Drinking isn't so bad in and of itself. Some people find it works great as a relaxant and they sleep fine. Many healthy people have a drink or two before bed every night. It can be dangerous as a crutch, however. Needing it to get through the day is a very different issue. Are you having trouble if you can't drink for a while? Do you crave it when you're sober? Also, what kind of smoking are we talking about? If it's green, it works much the same as alcohol. Moderation is key. If it's tabacco, stay away if you are free. There is really no upside. It's the only product sold that serves only the purpose of killing you slowly. I am a smoker with a heart condition and it's been hard to even cut down, much less quit altogether. Have you confronted your best friend about that whore'ish email? That's such a betrayal that I don't even know what to say to it. If a friend of mine did that with my wife, I'd likely beat him down. I don't have a short fuse by any means, but I'd let my temper go for that one. Again I'm sorry for what you are going through. You seem to be such a caring person and the stuff you've posted about wanting to be nice to your husband has caught my eye once or twice. When your trust is injured in that way, it's damn hard to recover from and can take a very long time. I'm sorry I'm not more help. It's sometimes hard on forums cuz you have to wait so long for responses.
Nevermind Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 My god. I am so sorry. ((hugs)) Do you have the drinking and smoking under control? It can help you get over the first days, but you shouldn't let it control you. Your friend...isn't a friend. She is not good for you, and - though it will hurt - you will have to cut her out of your life. That is so horrible, I can't quite understand how people function sometimes. I am really sorry.
Author saraispiel19 Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 **couldn't edit it*** oh gee thanks! Here are some answers to your questions: Drinking: No I don't crave it when i'm sober but if it's around i'll drink it, I was never a big drinker to begin with I hadn't done it for a really long time. Smoking: It's cigarettes, it was such a horrid habit I picked up but really cut it several months after meeting my husband (we've been together for about 3 years)- I find myself smelling my neighbour's smoke when he is out there, craving for one like a starved person and even dreaming of smoking. I don't want to do it, truly I don't but the cravings are so horrible. I also have abstained really from eating- I don't feel very hungry and find myself even going to bed with no meals at times or eat once (when my husband is eating so he thinks I've been eating)- It's horrible I know but I'm not too keen on food right now- never really was either. It's not that I hate food or have an eating disorder I just don't feel hungry like regular people do (sounds odd I know). As for the skeeze: yes I replied to her email (that she sent to my husband) - I basically cussed her out and said that she was dead to me blah blah blah. She has not reached me and niether have I. I want to end this relationship and if closure is what she seeks later well too bad barbie i'm no longer available. I'm very hurt by all this- I get betrayed by my husband then a life-long friend. tsk tsk and surprisingly I am not bitter toward other people and still believe there is some good out there... I do not take action like other women would blaming the whole gender (men) for one's doings-- it's the descions they make that are dumb. I'm getting to be mighty violent also- I'm a petite female so I wouldn't be able to hurt him; I've gotten my aggression out a few times where I have slapped him across the face, etc. Nevertheless I understand the actions I took were wrong and childish, but I really do not know how to take out this aggression I keep. Thanks for all your help.
Nevermind Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Have you thought about kick-boxing? It comes close to slapping him, but it's better for you and him. Good work with the ex-friend. Losing your appetite is normal. Try to eat as well as you can, when you do. You seem very strong and level-headed. You will work through this.
Author saraispiel19 Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 You seem very strong and level-headed. You will work through this. oh thanks. I know I will I just hate the process. ***** happens you just step on it sometimes.. Well I have a 1 1/2 year old daughter and she keeps me on my toes- I think in time the aggression will go away. I'm fairly young and about to make friends with other moms so that will definately help in the long run. ah heres the kiddo-- p.s. don't you love how parents love to flash thier kids pictures..
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