SandSound1978 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I come across very straight and men get crushes on me all the time (sadly not the ones I'm interested in, but that's a different story). I'm 30. My sexual orientation is somewhat complex, but I would say I'm fully bisexual, in that I could easily be with either gender, and I do get crushes on men frequently, but it just so happens that since the age of 21 or so, all my actual relationships have ended up being with women. With men, I generally find myself in emotional affairs or flirtations, with a lot of chemistry and fun back-and-forth, but not much substance from which to build a relationship. I can see myself ending up with a guy, although the more time that passes, the more foreign the whole male species becomes to me!! Anyway, I recently outed myself to somebody I am friendly with. Just because I didn't want to completely overwhelm him (he's older), I only told him about my relationships with women. I didn't identify myself as bisexual, and I didn't say anything about my feelings for men and that I enjoy male energy and flirting with men. By the questions he asked me, I could tell he interpreted the conversation to mean I was calling myself a "lesbian." When I joked and said that another friend (a guy) is just a friend, he said, "obviously!" as if he assumed I am incapable of being with a man. I nodded in agreement. So far, I have said nothing that would give him the idea that I have any interest in dating men. But ironically, in the weeks since I told him, he seems completely intrigued and it also seems that overnight he's developed quite a crush on me. I'm not creeped out or anything -- I like him and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. But I am curious. What is the deal with men and lesbians??? Is it that he sees me as the ultimate challenge now? Is he just drawn to the sexual fantasy element? Did my story bring us closer because he interpreted it simply as me talking sex with him? Does he think I can offer a strange sort of EA that he can't have with a straight woman? In general, I think both our boundaries have come down quite a bit after I shared this information with him, so it could just be that. I'm just really curious about what's going on here. If I'd known this would create this effect, I would have used this line all the time back when I was trying to date men!!!!!
Lizzie60 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I come across very straight and men get crushes on me all the time (sadly not the ones I'm interested in, but that's a different story). I'm 30. My sexual orientation is somewhat complex, but I would say I'm fully bisexual, in that I could easily be with either gender, and I do get crushes on men frequently, but it just so happens that since the age of 21 or so, all my actual relationships have ended up being with women. With men, I generally find myself in emotional affairs or flirtations, with a lot of chemistry and fun back-and-forth, but not much substance from which to build a relationship. I can see myself ending up with a guy, although the more time that passes, the more foreign the whole male species becomes to me!! Anyway, I recently outed myself to somebody I am friendly with. Just because I didn't want to completely overwhelm him (he's older), I only told him about my relationships with women. I didn't identify myself as bisexual, and I didn't say anything about my feelings for men and that I enjoy male energy and flirting with men. By the questions he asked me, I could tell he interpreted the conversation to mean I was calling myself a "lesbian." When I joked and said that another friend (a guy) is just a friend, he said, "obviously!" as if he assumed I am incapable of being with a man. I nodded in agreement. So far, I have said nothing that would give him the idea that I have any interest in dating men. But ironically, in the weeks since I told him, he seems completely intrigued and it also seems that overnight he's developed quite a crush on me. I'm not creeped out or anything -- I like him and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. But I am curious. What is the deal with men and lesbians??? Is it that he sees me as the ultimate challenge now? Is he just drawn to the sexual fantasy element? Did my story bring us closer because he interpreted it simply as me talking sex with him? Does he think I can offer a strange sort of EA that he can't have with a straight woman? In general, I think both our boundaries have come down quite a bit after I shared this information with him, so it could just be that. I'm just really curious about what's going on here. If I'd known this would create this effect, I would have used this line all the time back when I was trying to date men!!!!! Methink he is thinking 3-some.... I think it's no. 1 fantasy for a male .. being with 2 women.
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I dont mind lesbians, as long as when im single we can all enjoy some fun and it's not a fantsy lizzie when your doing it! I prefer straight women myself. Alot of lesbians are not a turn on for me. I think it's a sensory overload for men, for them to watch and enjoy two women, it's like giving a fat kid keys to hershy park. Me I'm kinda just like whatever I seen it all already really dont care about it either way.
You'reasian Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Congratulations! You've found yourself a healthy, male-lesbian
Author SandSound1978 Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 LOL....what is a male-lesbian???? Seriously, I am not exaggerating. The guy is completely whipped. We've known each other now for a few years and have spent a ton of time together for the last 6 months. I started to think he had a slight thing for me about 3 months ago, but it was very tame. I told him about my ex-girlfriend not because we were talking about intimate things (we really never talk about stuff like that), but only because he ended up witnessing me get into a political argument about gay rights with a mutual friend, and I wanted him to understand my perspective. Ever since that conversation, he went from showing a few signs of interest to behaving like he's infatuated. I don't get men!!! Aren't they supposed to fear rejection? Isn't this potentially the biggest rejection a guy can face??? I'm just stunned.
Lizzie60 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 LOL....what is a male-lesbian???? Seriously, I am not exaggerating. The guy is completely whipped. We've known each other now for a few years and have spent a ton of time together for the last 6 months. I started to think he had a slight thing for me about 3 months ago, but it was very tame. I told him about my ex-girlfriend not because we were talking about intimate things (we really never talk about stuff like that), but only because he ended up witnessing me get into a political argument about gay rights with a mutual friend, and I wanted him to understand my perspective. Ever since that conversation, he went from showing a few signs of interest to behaving like he's infatuated. I don't get men!!! Aren't they supposed to fear rejection? Isn't this potentially the biggest rejection a guy can face??? I'm just stunned. I don't think it's rejection if the guy is not that really into you..but is thinking more about getting 2 women in bed with him..
Mustang Sally Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I think they are just enamored with people that like pussy as much as they do. Either that, or they cannot fathom how any woman could have a perfectly complete and satisfying sex-life without their penis involved...
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