mortensorchid Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 So I returned the call to the man I went out for sushi with the other weekend. We went out to dinner last Friday to a very nice place for Brazilian food (which was wonderful by the way). Afterwards he asked if I wanted to go to a bar to meet some of his friends. The problem was he didn't know where the place is. I suggested that we go another place where my friend's band was playing, not because I felt uncomfortable around his friends, but because it was safer knowing a place that we both knew where it was. He got to meet some of my friends who were there, they chatted a bit, and all seemed well. He said "You're different. In a good way. You have many layers to you." He took me home, dropped me off and we ended the night with a hug. He said "I hope I hear from you soon." Did not talk on Saturday or Sunday. I think the ball is in my court. Is it?
JackhammerGemma Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Yes, I'd say the ball is in your court. Kind of odd that he put it there though. Almost like he doesn't want the responsibility of calling you in any given window (i.e. some say 3 days for example). But-since this is not 1950, call him if you like him!
Jilly Bean Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Why is the ball in your court? Did he lose his ability to court you? I just don't pursue guys in the beginning. I find it upsets the dynamic and sets a bad tone. I LIKE a guy who will call a woman, rather than expect her to do the work. I'd wait to hear from him. Two dates and ending in a hug? Could be mere friendship anyhow...
Krytie TV Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 How much green has he dished out compared to you, OP?
Star Gazer Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 How much green has he dished out compared to you, OP? Why does this matter? They've had only two dates.
Krytie TV Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Because I am curious. And I do think it's relevant. If he has been taking her out and wooing her, dropping a lot of cash in the process, there's nothing wrong with her taking the responsibility of the ball being in her court. He's showing his willingness through a financial investment. Now she could show a bit of communication/planning investment.
Ally Boo Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 He sounds fun. Now the real question is, "Does he like Sake?"
Calisto Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I don't see the big deal, now you've waited a few days, just give him a ring.
Author mortensorchid Posted July 2, 2008 Author Posted July 2, 2008 We talked via text message last night. And now, something else has just happened via text message. Tonight I sent him a text message saying "I am at an evening class right now, will be home around 10". He sent one back to me saying "Did you intend to send this to me?". This surprised me. I responded back saying "Um, yeah, just letting you know". He sent back saying "Ok, what do you want to do later then?". The class started and I didn't want to be rude and text message in the middle of things. I got home and sent him a text saying "I'm home now". And ... Nothing. Is that strange? Not that he hasn't responded, but that he asked if I intended to send him this message.
underpants Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 We talked via text message last night. And now, something else has just happened via text message. Tonight I sent him a text message saying "I am at an evening class right now, will be home around 10". He sent one back to me saying "Did you intend to send this to me?". This surprised me. I responded back saying "Um, yeah, just letting you know". He sent back saying "Ok, what do you want to do later then?". The class started and I didn't want to be rude and text message in the middle of things. I got home and sent him a text saying "I'm home now". And ... Nothing. Is that strange? Not that he hasn't responded, but that he asked if I intended to send him this message. He will probably show up around midnight. That text was pretty vague. I would take it as an invitation to come over or something. After 10 with no pre date activity it could be taken as a booty call invite. I think he asked if you intended to send that to him because it was vague. Especially after only 2 dates. He doesn't know you all that well. Then "I just wanted to let you know", followed by an "I'm home now". Either he is on the way over or he is freaked out.
Jilly Bean Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Well, what were your intentions in sending that text? Generally telling someone you're going to be home late is an invitation for booty after. Was that the goal?
2sunny Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 he thought you were allowing him to understand your availability after 10 pm. he was expecting you to say "let's go to a movie" or "how about ice-cream or coffee" NOT i am home now. i'm sure he's thinking WTF? who cares... she's home... okaaaay... you missed the window of time with him by a simple misunderstanding. for the future - men don't need to know where you are at every moment of your day. next time be clear - how about dinner? how about a movie, the beach? get it?
InLimbo2 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Yes - the ball is in your court. I've read the rest of the responses up to this point. How bout this theory - he knows too many women at the end of the date wonder if they'll ever hear from him again, or get put on the spot if they are unsure if they want to see the guy again - or feel pressured. And so he put it out there that he wanted to see you again and let you decide if you wanted to see him again - in your own time - and without the pressure of him standing over you. Yes, I'd say the ball is in your court. Kind of odd that he put it there though. Almost like he doesn't want the responsibility of calling you in any given window (i.e. some say 3 days for example). But-since this is not 1950, call him if you like him!
InLimbo2 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 It would be normal and expected if I txt'd my SO of 2 years that I was in class and when I'd be home. Or my child. Or my roommate - if I had one. If I got that text from a person I'd gone out with twice I too would wonder if it was a misdirected text - it's out of the norm to be telling someone you barely know where you are, what you're doin, when you'll be done. As for why no response after your delayed text? Maybe he went out. Maybe he went to sleep. Maybe he thought the original txt was in error and you were too polite to say so and that you had other plans after school since you didn't answer (for reasons he is unaware of) his question about what you two would do after school. We talked via text message last night. And now, something else has just happened via text message. Tonight I sent him a text message saying "I am at an evening class right now, will be home around 10". He sent one back to me saying "Did you intend to send this to me?". This surprised me. I responded back saying "Um, yeah, just letting you know". He sent back saying "Ok, what do you want to do later then?". The class started and I didn't want to be rude and text message in the middle of things. I got home and sent him a text saying "I'm home now". And ... Nothing. Is that strange? Not that he hasn't responded, but that he asked if I intended to send him this message.
Author mortensorchid Posted July 2, 2008 Author Posted July 2, 2008 Hmmm. Well, I guess I messed up then. I was hoping maybe we could talk on the phone for a bit. But now that I read this again I guess it does imply a booty call, doesn't it? I guess I better just let it stand and let HIM contact me again?
2sunny Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 if that's what you wanted was some phone time then why didn't you just text - "call me after 10:30"? as far as now waiting for him to call you - i wouldn't call if i were him (i am a gal btw) too many mixed signals. next guy you want to date - why not just say what you mean and mean what you say? that would take away all this silliness in the games you seem to be playing.
InLimbo2 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 He may have thought it was a booty call - or he may have just been confused. Ok - not that it's 'blame' - but he left it in your court - and then you gave what even you agree could be mixed messages - and possibly confusion for him when you stopped texting. Why would you drop it and wait on him to contact? I say you call him and invite him out - and when face to face quickly cover the communication snafu - if you're still dating in a year it will be a funny story you'll laugh about and tell your friends and family about when you first started dating. Hmmm. Well, I guess I messed up then. I was hoping maybe we could talk on the phone for a bit. But now that I read this again I guess it does imply a booty call, doesn't it? I guess I better just let it stand and let HIM contact me again?
Calisto Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 Honestly you really didn't do anything wrong. This is not a big deal. If he is interested, he won't see this texting thing as a setback and he will call soon. If he doesn't pick up the phone to call (not text) you, he's not interested.
Shygirl15 Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 We talked via text message last night. And now, something else has just happened via text message. Tonight I sent him a text message saying "I am at an evening class right now, will be home around 10". He sent one back to me saying "Did you intend to send this to me?". This surprised me. I responded back saying "Um, yeah, just letting you know". He sent back saying "Ok, what do you want to do later then?". The class started and I didn't want to be rude and text message in the middle of things. I got home and sent him a text saying "I'm home now". And ... Nothing. Is that strange? Not that he hasn't responded, but that he asked if I intended to send him this message. Frankly speaking, I would have been annoyed if somebody sends me such a message. "I'm home now", okay so what? You kinda throwing to him the responsibility of calling/texting you. I mean if you're equally interested, you can also call him too. You guys have been on two dates already, and texted/talked a couple of times. I see no harm if you take the initiative to call him sometimes. He may appreciate it infact.
Author mortensorchid Posted July 2, 2008 Author Posted July 2, 2008 Ok, so I will let HIM call me back. I never got a phone call or text message from him after I sent him that message "I am home now" last night around 10 pm. I actually plan on being gone after 3 or 4 this afternoon and won't get home until later. But, I will not send any mixed signal text messages or phone calls in the future.
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