Tabatha Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I'm so stupid in thinking things would work out between us again!!! He says he just wants to be friends again...nothing more ever again. He says he doesn't want to be sexually involved with me, because he thinks he'll lead me on. (I respect that). But he led me on already! I feel like such a fool trying to better myself so he will notice that I've changed. I was all for nothing. I feel as though he broke up with me all over again. He just ripped my heart out and crushed it saying he doesn't want to work on the relationship with me. I'm going to severe all ties with him. I am not going to speak to him. It's not so he realizes that he'll miss me. It's so I can start to heal and I can come to an understanding that We are not ever going to be We ever again. Once I put it passed me, I will feel like the world is right once more. Here I go, from the starting line. I have some catching up to do with you all!!!
northstar1 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I'm so stupid in thinking things would work out between us again!!! He says he just wants to be friends again...nothing more ever again. He says he doesn't want to be sexually involved with me, because he thinks he'll lead me on. (I respect that). But he led me on already! I feel like such a fool trying to better myself so he will notice that I've changed. I was all for nothing. I feel as though he broke up with me all over again. He just ripped my heart out and crushed it saying he doesn't want to work on the relationship with me. I'm going to severe all ties with him. I am not going to speak to him. It's not so he realizes that he'll miss me. It's so I can start to heal and I can come to an understanding that We are not ever going to be We ever again. Once I put it passed me, I will feel like the world is right once more. Here I go, from the starting line. I have some catching up to do with you all!!! I'm only on a week or so , so you don't have much catching up to do.
sid3 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Trying to better yourself is never a waste of your time. Your next bf will appreciate it. In time you will too. It's ok to feel like a fool, just remember he was a tool. N/C works. It is the best gift you can give yourself. It means you care. Breaking up a second time feels like it's the tenth time, sure it's gonna hurt but you'll be ten times stronger. Now you can say you gave it your all, don't live with regret. Let it hurt, cause that is what is going to help you heal.
ianandris Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Starting back at square 1 is definitely one of the most frustrating things about a break up, no question. Sounds like you've got a good perspective on it, though. Just a few things: 1. Don't let that inner voice say anything to you that you wouldn't say to anyone else in good company. Don't beat yourself up. You're not stupid, you're human. Nothing in the whole world is more beautiful than being human. 2. It may feel like it was all for nothing, but no effort spent improving yourself is wasted. 3. Stick to that NC like skin to your bones. You'll want to call him. DON'T DO IT. 4. Keep your chin up. It'll get better. It always does. We're resilient creatures. Read this poem: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t156893/ ((hugs))
johan Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Women, for the most part, can withstand much more emotional difficulty than men. They seem to know how to keep their egos out of it.
Author Tabatha Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 Thanks You guys! I deleted him from my myspace page. Atleast he'll know I'm serious this time around, hopefully. I bet you he will give me til tomorrow before I contact him again, because he knows how hard it is for me not to. It's hard. I've only lasted 3 days no contact before. I don't know how I did it. lol. You know, I've said in the begining I could stand being just friends, because I thought I wouldnt be losing him completely. But now I realize, I can't handle the thought of it because I will always wan't something more. Maybe down the road, when I'm Totally moved on but right now it seems like that will be impossible because I'm afraid not matter if I see him 5 years from now, those feelings will rush back.
backto1 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I bet you'll recuperate faster this time than the first time, though. Sometimes it feels like you're just bettering yourself to impress that person but think about it like this...whatever you're doing to better yourself, you probably still have that person on your mind. It's like when I'm in the gym I think about my ex...but I think about her anyways. Over time you'll realize you're improving yourself just for yourself and to create a new life that someone, some day, will be dying to jump in to with you. And hell, don't worry about catching up with everyone else. The year 2006 still sounds pretty new, right? A car from 2006 is pretty new, you can probably remember a lot. Well, go back to the forums and look at posts from 2006. They're all the same as they are now! At the time, it felt new and raw but that was TWO YEARS ago! Some of those people have returned to update their situation and they are all happy now and feel like 2006 was ages ago. In 2010, people will be making posts here "omg he just broke up, here goes NC day 1." And you might stumble across this site and think back to that looonng time ago in 2008 when you were going through the same exact sh*t.
johan Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 ...Maybe down the road, when I'm Totally moved on but right now it seems like that will be impossible because I'm afraid not matter if I see him 5 years from now, those feelings will rush back. I saw my ex after 2.5 years. I had the feelings come back. It's not something I recommend going through.
Author Tabatha Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 So I called him last night and (Cried) "This will be our last time we speak to each other for awhile, so say whatever you have to say now!" He said he would be very proud of me if I took the time to heal and not contact him. He said he doesn't want me to get over Caring for him, he wants me to get over the idea of us Working. I think he was a little taken back on the phone because he asked "Is it because you don't like me?" No. I explained to him I can't be friends with him right now, because I will always want more. He said, Well I wanted to be friends. But he respects my decision and ideas on the whole thing. Today is going to be the last day we see each other for awhile. He says he wants to end it on a good note.
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