nells80 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 This is my first post. I am in a dilema. I love two men... James and Will (not real names). Dated James for two years when I moved offices and met Will. Me and James were fine until I met Will... me and Will clicked and sparked and everything that should happen. He had 3 kids from a past relationship (I have non, there isn't much of an age diff) and he always said he didn't want any. I ended it with James so I could be with Will. Then me and Will were on/off so many times that I cna't remember. We ended up sharing a flat together and we still loved each other but I go back with James. James is the sort of guy that is great on paper: handsome, tall, kind, considerate, caring etc. Will isn't great in the looks and has had a bit of a past but he makes me laugh and I could spend all my time with him. Except he has a temper (never violent, I wouldn't stick around if he was) and he is jealous. He also brings up the past a lot nd i believe that in order to have a future, the past shouldn't be present. Me and James broke up again and on/off, same with me and Will. Will knew about James but now I am back with James and not with Will and Will doesn't know about James being back on the scene but Will is so addictive and I can't bear the thought of not having him in my life. The only way for me and James to work and have a future is to never see Will again - and vice versa. But how can I let go of James who I have known for 4 years and of Will of 2 years. I am selfish, I accept that. Another hiccup is that it wasn't that bad when Will didn't want more kids but he does for the past year - he says he he has seen me with his kids and he wants me to have one with him and marry him. James wants kids but is dead agaisnt marriage - shame that I am very pro-marriage (he gave me a £1000 diamond ring only out of commitment though... odd - I dont wear it cos I can't wear an engagement ring if there is no engagement). Maybe I am punishing James because he wont marry me and punishing Will for saying he didn't want kids and now he does. Either way, it's no fun. James is 28 (same as me) and still lives at home and hasn't had to contribute to his free lifestyle ever and it's only now after 4 years that he wants to live with me (I rent a place alone, moved out of Will's place about 3 months a go). James seems to make all the decisions about where we holiday or wnt to move to. I resent that James has had it so easy and I have struggled and I have had to wait for him to be ready. Will wants me to move back with him and 50% of me wants to as I loved loved loved living with him - but I'll have to break James' heart if I move back there. Or do I break Will's heart? Or so I be alone... but I can't be, it's either one of them: I love them equally - Will is a core shaking love with passion and sentance finishing. James is stable and secure love but no marriage. Sorry this is a long thread....
Lizzie60 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 WOW.. I'm dizzy... at the end of the 'paragraph' (you should have cut this in several paragraph)... I don't know who's who... hahaha.. too long and confusing. (I would have to read it again but I'm too lazy)... anyway.. all this to say... flip a coin.. Head for James... Tail for Will... and get back to tell us who won.. Anyway.. again.. this is up to you.. you have to make your decision.. or go with both until you get bored of one..
carhill Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Be careful OP, or one (or both) of them will break *your* heart....... My instinct is, if you do want to get married and have children in a healthy, loving relationship, that you should look behind door #3. I'm not seeing an appropriate partner here. Oh, before looking behind door #3, end the R's with these two gentlemen and spend some time alone. It really is OK
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Will wants me to move back with him and 50% of me wants to as I loved loved loved living with him - but I'll have to break James' heart if I move back there. Or do I break Will's heart? Or so I be alone... but I can't be, it's either one of them: I love them equally - Will is a core shaking love with passion and sentance finishing. James is stable and secure love but no marriage. Sorry this is a long thread.... Yikes. Your love life is a mess! Listen if you have to put 2 men together to get 1 worth dating... that's a problem. Fact is that Will and James are neither what you need. Settling for either will be a giant mistake. Besides your living like a pinball! Not good.
Balthazar Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Confusing post. Pardon my bluntness, but I think both of them should dump you or you both of them. This is a wholly unhealthy situation.
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