diesel1218 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Okay I need some serious advice. I have been dating this girl now for about a month. Things are great when we are together very random and fun. However we haven't taken it past the "dating" stage to the exclusive stage. The main reason is about three weeks ago she told me she still was completely over the past relationship. Now everyone I ask tells me that even though we are just dating, she would probably be upset if I dated anyone other than her. So what do I do? Do I keep rolling with it? I was engaged once about two years ago, and until this new relationship everything has been a bore. I can see myself fall for this girl. I dont want to be a rebound though and the time she spends with me and my family makes me think I am not. I also dont not want to stand in the shadows of someone else for too long. Any ideas?
kory11 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 If she doesn't talk about her past relationship at all, I'd say she may be over it... Now everyone I ask tells me that even though we are just dating, she would probably be upset if I dated anyone other than her. Maybe it's just her way of dating... I for one do not like to date more then one girl at a time... Do you feel she is involved when you are together? If she isn't, there could be an ex in her mind...
Author diesel1218 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 When we are together we have a great time, she has hung out with my parents, and I have spent time with her and her friends. She is affectionate around my family and her friends. Which leads me to believe I am something to her. The time that is spent with me, I know nothing is left over to date anyone else. I just want to avoid being a rebound as much as possible. There are however very few time where she seems distant. Most of the time we are on the same page though. I guess what I am trying to say is do I let everything fall into place and risk being hurt? Do I put up a wall for my protection? Better yet is it out of my control and is being a rebound inevitable in this situation?
kory11 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I guess what I am trying to say is do I let everything fall into place and risk being hurt? Do I put up a wall for my protection? Better yet is it out of my control and is being a rebound inevitable in this situation? I would let everything fall into place, but do not let the possibilty down that it might be a rebound though... I don't think being a rebound is inevitable as my ex-gf and I broke up a month ago, but our relationship declined slowly for about 3 months prior... so we didn't have many feelings in the end. She is now dating another guy and I'd be very surprised to know that he was a rebound... we weren't in love when we left each other
Author diesel1218 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 Yeah but this is a different situation, they were off and on for 4 years. I have experienced too much to be able to handle being a rebound right now. I didn't expect this to make me fall when I started but it is getting closer and closer and time goes on. I guess there isnt any easy way of finding out either. I mean about 3 weeks ago is when she told me she wasn't over the past yet. She also asked me how long it took me to get over my ex. I am just ready for the first time because I feel like I have found someone worth risking it all. SOmething that caught me by surprise yesterday was her friend called me her boyfriend.
kory11 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 The main reason is about three weeks ago she told me she still was completely over the past relationship. oh! little correction then for your first post! hehe.. Now I get your worries a little more... Maybe just taking time to talk with her... let her know how you feel... ask her to think about if she is really over her other relationship / if you are just a source of affection... and you'll have to trust her answer
Author diesel1218 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 oh! little correction then for your first post! hehe.. Now I get your worries a little more... Maybe just taking time to talk with her... let her know how you feel... ask her to think about if she is really over her other relationship / if you are just a source of affection... and you'll have to trust her answer I am sorry thats a typo I mean she wasn't over it.
kladia Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 i think it's time to have "the talk." ask her if she wants to be exclusive, or thinks that things are heading towards exlusivity. worst that can happen is she says no. she's the only one who can tell you this though...
Author diesel1218 Posted July 2, 2008 Author Posted July 2, 2008 No I agree I had this talk with her about 3 weeks ago and told her I did not want to date anyone else. She still said she wasnt over the past yet. However I know we are both not seeing anyone else and I think she would be upset if I did date someone else.
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