Sothas Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Girl 1: Met yesterday @ a party, she asked me to go out for coffee but I'm not really interested. Girl 2: Met yesterday @ the same party (friends with Girl 1), got along really well and had a lot in common, I would def. be interested in getting to know her more. Girl 3: A close friend, I asked her out a couple weeks ago, I like her a lot, she said she was taking the summer off from boys but now she's showing interest again now that there are other girls in the picture... I don't know what to do now, how do I let one girl down while I'm interested in her friend, and I still have feelings for the third girl but I was just respecting her wish to take a break from dating/relationships for the summer... Any advice or opinions would be GREATLY appreciated. -Sothas
Leikela Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Tell Girl 1 no thanks on the coffee. If you have Girl 2's contact info, call her up and ask her out. (Girl 1 will get the hint) Girl 3 already told you she was taking a break. Her loss! If she's showing interest now then just go with the flow. I would only hook up with her if she initiates it. You already did, so the ball is in her court.
mixwell Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Girl 1: Met yesterday @ a party, she asked me to go out for coffee but I'm not really interested. Girl 2: Met yesterday @ the same party (friends with Girl 1), got along really well and had a lot in common, I would def. be interested in getting to know her more. Girl 3: A close friend, I asked her out a couple weeks ago, I like her a lot, she said she was taking the summer off from boys but now she's showing interest again now that there are other girls in the picture... I don't know what to do now, how do I let one girl down while I'm interested in her friend, and I still have feelings for the third girl but I was just respecting her wish to take a break from dating/relationships for the summer... Any advice or opinions would be GREATLY appreciated. -Sothas I would tell girl 1 that you aren't interested. Girl 2 I would try to get some contact info from her to see whats up. Girl 3 seems like she may only be interested in you now because there are other girls in the picture like you said. She wants what she THINKS she can't have and thats not really a good foundation for you two to persue it further in my opinion.
Author Sothas Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 Well I still don't kknow whats going to happen with girls 2 and 3 but I've decided against the date with girl 1. The thing is I've never really had to reject somebody before so I dont know how. She asked me out over a facebook message so should I respond that way too? What do I say to make it so things aren't awkward if I see her again (which is likely cause we have mutual friends)... -Sothas
imbewildered Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 [quote=Sothas;1724195 What do I say to make it so things aren't awkward if I see her again (which is likely cause we have mutual friends)... -Sothas No way to not hurt her...Rejection is hurtful especially to most woman who seem to believe that they are entitled to do the rejecting. Do not pussyfoot around here - the best way to go is bold and tall. Dating is not without risks, and oftentimes, casualties. However , be aware that rejections triggers off a stronger desire in SOME women. At the extreme edge they can become your worst bad dream - STALKER !
Author Sothas Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 Alright... just sent her (Girl 1) a message back on facebook. Here it is: "Hey, I appreciate the offer but to be honest there's somebody else that I'm interested in right now and I want to see what happens with that. It was definitely cool to meet everybody and hang out though, and I'm sure I'll see more of you and everybody else again this summer. My screenname is ---------- if you wanna talk. I'm at work so if I don't answer right away its because I'm out of the office. Take it easy" Any thoughts?
lino Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Alright... just sent her (Girl 1) a message back on facebook. Here it is: "Hey, I appreciate the offer but to be honest there's somebody else that I'm interested in right now and I want to see what happens with that. It was definitely cool to meet everybody and hang out though, and I'm sure I'll see more of you and everybody else again this summer. My screenname is ---------- if you wanna talk. I'm at work so if I don't answer right away its because I'm out of the office. Take it easy" Any thoughts? seems reasonable to me
mixwell Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 seems reasonable to me Word. I think you said the right thing.
Ally Boo Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Alright... just sent her (Girl 1) a message back on facebook. Here it is: "Hey, I appreciate the offer but to be honest there's somebody else that I'm interested in right now and I want to see what happens with that. It was definitely cool to meet everybody and hang out though, and I'm sure I'll see more of you and everybody else again this summer. My screenname is ---------- if you wanna talk. I'm at work so if I don't answer right away its because I'm out of the office. Take it easy" Any thoughts? If only more people were this direct. Great job!
Author Sothas Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 Thanks, the message seemed to go over well and I talked to her online for a few minutes yesterday, she didn't bring anything up about that so it went well. However.... this situation just got MUCH more complicated. So the party that I met girls 1 & 2 at was my friend's surprise party. And late last night I remembered a conversation I had with him a while ago about how things were strange with his girlfriend lately and he thought he might have feelings for one of his friends. Well after his girlfriend left the party, him and Girl 2 were awfully close for just friends so I pretty much think that theres no way for me to win here, it would be really awkward to ask him about her especially if there IS something going on between them. And to add to that even more, I talked to Girl 3 last night... and she said that she thought I should ask out Girl 2 so I guess I was wrong about her being interested in me... Sorry if this is too complicated to understand, just ask if you're confused and I'll try to clear things up. -Sothas Timeline: November - Girl 3 asks me out, I'm not looking for a relationship 2-3 Months ago - Friend tells me that he may have feelings for one of his friends 3 Weeks ago - I ask Girl 3 out, she is taking the summer off from guys 3 Days ago - I go to Friend's surprise party, meet girl 1 and 2, girl 2 close to friend during movie 2 Days ago - Girl 1 Asks me out ---ORIGINAL POST TIME--- Yesterday - I turn down Girl 1, Girl 3 tells me to go for it with Girl 2 Now - I remember what friend said 2 months ago and realize that Girl 2 is basically off limits? Tomorrow - I lose my mind.
Leikela Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Wow, that is a twisty change in events! I would pretty much guarantee that your friend and Girl 2 are involved. Yeah, that would be off limits. Hey, if it's this much trouble, it's just not meant to be. Trust me, when you're really into someone, you make it happen. No, "I'm not ready" or "Taking the summer off." Doesn't work that way! You'll find her and when you do, you'll know!
Author Sothas Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 I suppose it is time to find girl 4... if only that were easy for me
Leikela Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 You sound young, right? There's plenty of time to find Girl 4. Let me let you in on a little secret. It happens when you least expect it. When you stop looking and decide to just take it easy for awhile, she'll appear out of thin air! Best of luck to you.
dreamergrl Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I suppose it is time to find girl 4... if only that were easy for me Look, you were able to find girl 1, 2, and 3 .... all at once
Author Sothas Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 I'm almost 21, and haven't had so much as a date in over a year. I suppose you're right though, hopefully I don't have to wait too long. Thanks for the support, I appreciate it. -Sothas EDIT: I guess that makes sense dreamergrl but at the same time, look how that turned out, and I don't have many opportunities like that to meet new people either so that was a once in a great while thing.
dreamergrl Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I'm almost 21, and haven't had so much as a date in over a year. I suppose you're right though, hopefully I don't have to wait too long. Thanks for the support, I appreciate it. -Sothas EDIT: I guess that makes sense dreamergrl but at the same time, look how that turned out, and I don't have many opportunities like that to meet new people either so that was a once in a great while thing. Then you need to put yourself out there more. Find a way to meet new people. Join a community sport, go somewhere new, take up a new hobby. You're 21, you've got many years to find that girl. Yeah, so it didn't turn out well, but that happens with dating. You have to weed through the bad to get the good.
Leikela Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I agree with Dreamergrl. Go out and join some clubs. What do you like to do? Sports? Travel? Check out http://www.meetup.com for some groups in your area. It's free! I love softball and once I joined a Co-ed team, I had more dates than I knew what to do with. It's fun and you get out and meet new people. I ended up meeting my husband through a part-time job walking dogs. Just get yourself out there and the possibilities will be endless!
Author Sothas Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 Thanks, I'm just having trouble thinking of something to even do, I don't have much that I do as far as hobbies and I live in a small town so there isn't really a lot to do as far as group activities. Once september comes around I'll be back at college so that will have plenty of opportunities to meet people but for the next few months I feel like I'm coming up dry of any ideas... I would rather not wait to meet new people until then but it could be worse
Leikela Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Check out meetup.com. Maybe there is something going on around where you live. Maybe not right in your town, but close by?
dreamergrl Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I agree with Leikela - you could try meetup.com or even online dating sites. There's always ways to meet people, you just have to be willing to put yourself out there. It takes effort at times.
Author Sothas Posted July 2, 2008 Author Posted July 2, 2008 Ok... I'm probably being crazy, but I don't want to just let things go completely with Girl 2 just yet, is there a way that I could bring it up and ask my friend without making things awkward or seem like I'm accusing him of anything? He is a pretty close friend so I don't expect him to get mad, it just seems like it would be a very strange conversation and I don't know what the best way to go about it would be. If I'm totally being dumb on this and I should just drop it and let it go then let me know so I don't do something stupid but like I said... I don't meet people often so I feel like I shouldn't just let this pass me by. -Sothas
kladia Posted July 2, 2008 Posted July 2, 2008 i'd just ask your friend kinda jokingly "hey you and girl 2 were hanging out a lot the other night, what's up with that?" or something. If he says nothing's happening, greenlight, get her # from him. Or just wait 'till you get back to college. The whole point of college is to meet people basically and it's really easy to join groups (or party) there.
Author Sothas Posted July 2, 2008 Author Posted July 2, 2008 Thats what I was thinking about doing, it was either that or just asking if she was single but that's probably a better idea. Also, that's very true about college so worst case I wait a couple months and then get back out meeting new people. Thanks -Sothas
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