thedrew Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 I have been with this girl for a couple of weeks and met her about a month ago. I like her a lot and we have so much in common. Only problem is she is not very clingy and I am. She has been in love 2 times and both were pretty long like 2 year relationships. She seems somewhat distant like we are with couples all the time and she isn't really like affectionate how couples are, we really haven't talked about sex she hasn't brought it up and when we have talked about it she doesn't go along with it. We haven't even really made out either. I'm 19 she's 18. What can I do to make her get closer? I've talked about how shes distant and she takes offense to it, it just makes me feel like were a couple in elementary school. And another issue is when we first started going out she kept saying how she really really likes me and said she thinks she is falling for me. So I decided to tell her I love her and she wouldn't say it back she said it would take sometime for her to get to that point. So the next day I took it back and blamed it that it was cuz I was stoned because I was when I said it, and she said "Okay, good". I love her but want us to get closer and not have a huge space between us when were together. But she says that the way I am clingy peeves her.. Any suggestions?
Balthazar Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 You said I love you and then took it back? Were you stoned when you said it or when you took it back? You know, saying it was a mistake, and taking it back even more so. Since you have feelings for this girl I recommend you slow down the pace a bit to accommodate her. However, the relationship has to go forward, or wither and die. Keep it romantic and always try to create intimate moments where you will be able to make things happen. Do this by carefully choosing what to do on dates and where you go. Try to lead conversations to romantic/intimate issues. Do this stuff for a few weeks and see how things progress. If she continues to be cold and considers you clingy, leave her. Her interest level is too low or she is a very special case. Cheers,
backto1 Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 You NEED to stop being clingy. You've only been dating for a few weeks and she will dropper you faster than **** if you keep that up. Make sure you have a life outside of her and make sure your self-esteem is high, because you shouldn't be annoying her with clingyness and telling her you love her after knowing her for such a short time.
Author thedrew Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 Well I do love her but I'm not saying it again till she says it. I only took it back because I felt that because I said that and she didn't back that it would just create awkwardness and have me ahead of the game. And as for dating, were going out but have never actually been on an actual date we just hang out a lot go to parties together etc.
Jilly Bean Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Drew - you have known this girl for two weeks, have never been on a date, and you told her you loved her, and then took it back? Ah, to be 19 again... You need to get a grip, my boy. A SOLID grip. It doesn't sound like she considers you both a couple or dating by a long shot, and your professions of love are only going to drive her further away at this point, as they seem to be very one-sided. Personally, I don't believe you can love someone after two weeks. Infatuated and smitten? Absolutely! But love? No way. If she is pulling back, it's because you are coming on WAY too strong. Like I said, get a grip, and BACK OFF for a while. In a week, call her and invite her out of date. If she says yes, then you can begin DATING. But for now, it sounds to me like you have a crazy crush and she considers you a friend.
Author thedrew Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 Drew - you have known this girl for two weeks, have never been on a date, and you told her you loved her, and then took it back? Ah, to be 19 again... You need to get a grip, my boy. A SOLID grip. It doesn't sound like she considers you both a couple or dating by a long shot, and your professions of love are only going to drive her further away at this point, as they seem to be very one-sided. Personally, I don't believe you can love someone after two weeks. Infatuated and smitten? Absolutely! But love? No way. If she is pulling back, it's because you are coming on WAY too strong. Like I said, get a grip, and BACK OFF for a while. In a week, call her and invite her out of date. If she says yes, then you can begin DATING. But for now, it sounds to me like you have a crazy crush and she considers you a friend. Well now a days, at least where I live, you can go on dates but I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said of course yes, and it's more then a friendship because of that. We hang out a lot, like her friends are now my best friends. I have seen this girl with her friends in bad situations, and know she had a lot of trouble with her parents like bad stuff, and we have an extreme amount of things in common personality wise and just overall thinking. So that's why I say I love her, because I have been with her everyday in the last 2 weeks and I don't like to be parted from her or not be with her. But I am giving her space so she can build a desire to want me, like you don't wanna hear the same song everyday and be played out and noting exciting.
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