dazed.1 Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Today I am torturing myself. I can't stop imagining him with another woman...being happy and looking into her eyes like he once looked into mine. It kills me. As much as I know our relationship would never work, I can't help but feel physically sick thinking about him loving someone else. We were supposed to have a future together...he was supposed to be my husband and the father of my children...and now we are nothing. I could really use some encouraging words so lay them on me PLEASE! (Dated for 2.5 years, interracial relationship, broke up bc his family did not accept, now NC for almost 2 weeks.) d
stlnsmile Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 I understand so much where you are. My ex left, then 4 weeks later actually was with someone else. Our families were polar oposits, and were a large part of the relationships end. I guess the only thing that I can say, is that no matter what he does, or who he is with, if he has chosen a life with out you in it, then it does not matter. What I mean by that is, we can not force someone to love us. We can not force someone to be with us. If they want something else for their lives, then there is no use tying ourselves into knots about what they might do, could do, would do. It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that you are an important person and deserve so much more than to be with someone who can not value that or see that. You deserve someone to adore you and really want to be with you. On the other side of that I want you to understand, that for me, while my ex made his decision I think largely because of family differences, at the same time, he did absolutely have a choice. A choice to work through those differences or not. A choice to fight or run. If they love you with all that they are they choose to fight for what they want. So we can not make excuses too much for them. They do know how to love and get what they need from their families if they want to. They didn't want to. I think as hard as it is to accept your ex could move on at some point, it is something you will have to come to terms with over time. Right now you do not know anything, so no point hurting yourself more by imadgining what you do not even know. Better to focus on the fact that the relationship is over and that in itself is hard enough to deal with, with out making up stuff as you go along. Your ex may or may not be with anyone, but that doesn't really matter, what matters is that sadly your relationship ended for whatever reasons, and that hurts. And you have to deal with that right now. I don't have words that will take the pain away, only for you to know that LS is here to support you as you go through this.
kizik Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Today I am torturing myself. I can't stop imagining him with another woman...being happy and looking into her eyes like he once looked into mine. It kills me. As much as I know our relationship would never work, I can't help but feel physically sick thinking about him loving someone else. We were supposed to have a future together...he was supposed to be my husband and the father of my children...and now we are nothing. I could really use some encouraging words so lay them on me PLEASE! (Dated for 2.5 years, interracial relationship, broke up bc his family did not accept, now NC for almost 2 weeks.) d At a certain point, you don't care if the ex is with someone new. There are a couple of reasons for this: 1) You have realized that people are free to do, say, think and sleep with whoever they want. 2) You love yourself enough to know that while they may be f*cking someone new, that someone can not truly take your place. YOU have the qualities that people want in a partner. 3) Rebound sex is just that - a rebound - and judging by posts here as well as my imagination, often causes feelings of emptiness and guilt b/c the rebounder is usually still mentally preoccupied with the ex. So, don't worry about your ex hooking up with someone. It's bound to happen and it's none of your business. Do not let your thoughts drift to that evil, dark place because it will hurt you badly. Instead, focus on creating new friendships and relationships in your OWN life, as THAT is the only life you can control.
Author dazed.1 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 Yes you are both so right, thanks for giving me a kick when I needed it!
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