alialui Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 I posted a thread talking about how I feel good about dating new guys and I miss him much less. things are going well with the two guys I'am dating (even tho i didn't decide which one I should go out with yet) and they both adore me and make me feel cared and loved. but since yesterday, I started missing my ex alot. I really wanted to know how he was doing and if he's dating someone, too. When I woke up today, I felt very 'jittery' and end up textinig my ex saying that the stuffed bear he'd given me made me think of him. I didn't get the reply yet or I won't get any reaction. but... I really miss him. is this just temporary thing? 'cuz I've moved on and i'm dating again and think much much less of my ex now, and more and more about one of the guys I'm dating. please help me. I... miss my ex... and don't know what to do with this feeling.
kizik Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Wow, you're dating not one but 2 new guys yet you still feel the need to torture your ex. Leave him the hell alone, please.
jerbear Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Two guys and an ex... I would suggest leaving the ex alone and casually date the other two. It seems like you miss the ex but you really miss the attention he gives you that the other two do not. Those two guys seem like the rebound and they provide the attention you desire but they're still the rebound. I suggest staying away from all 3 while you figure out what you want and be yourself.
Author alialui Posted June 29, 2008 Author Posted June 29, 2008 I'm not looking for a rebound. I'm seeking for a serious relationship that would lead to marriage. both of guys i'm seeing are expressing that they want the same thing. they are both tired of dating and want to settle down. but, I miss my ex. I miss him alot. it's not like I miss his attention. after the break up, we've been fighting for half a year and definitely not giving each other care and attention we deserved from each other. but no matter what, I miss him I really really miss him. my head is saying there's no way to fix things at least for now, but my heart is saying I still love him so much.
kizik Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 We ARE being helpful. We're just not telling you what you wanna hear. You don't seem very open to advice, so I don't have a lot to say except BE BY YOURSELF before you break more hearts. Even dating two guys at the same time seems a bit selfish and weird to me.
wareagle Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 I agree with Kizik, you seem like a girl who who craves attention! How old are you? I haven't read your other thread, but I'm guessing you ended it with your ex? Op, I believe you are being selfish, and you are gonna end up hurting, not only your ex again, or both of the new guy's. Have you ever been single for a significant amount of time? If you haven't my suggestion is you stay single and alone until you can figure out what you want. Until then you are only gonna hurt the ones you come into contact with! I know my ex could never be alone because she hates who she is and needs a man to validate herself! I"m not trying to be harsh here but this is just what I see!!
vivrantflo Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Wow, reading this allows people to see what the other side of the coin looks like. The relationship with your ex is done. By the sounds of it, he's performing NC cause he wants to get over you. And I applaud him, cause if he knew that you were playing two OTHER guys, he probably would be hurt knowing that his ex is emotionally attaching herself to not one, but two other men. These two guys that you're seeing.. do they know that you're not exclusively dating them? Do they know they are sharing you?? Stupid question, of course not. If you still love your ex, then maybe you shouldnt be dating other guys?? Especially two at the same time? The situation pisses me off, cause not only is your ex hurting, there's guaranteed to be at least one more broken heart as a result of this selfish behaviour.
wareagle Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 I like they way you put things Viv!! It pisses me off also that people can be so ****ing selfish!!!!!
stlnsmile Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Woohhhooooo....you go Viv/Wareagle...thank God decent people exsist. At least I know no matter how lonely I ever get there are great wonderful guys left in the world who have brains and hearts........woohhooooo!
Author alialui Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 I'm dating two people but i'm not doing anything sexual with them. I went on a first date with them, but one lives in a city a few hours away from here so we usually talk online and the other guy went home for a break and coming back in 3 wks, we just talk on the phone everyday. but I don't believe in having sex with more than one person and decide who i'm gonna go out by the time the guy who're back home returns. plus, I initiated the NC, but didn't breakup with him. it was mutual thing 'cuz we kept fighting.
Abomination Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Sex has nothing to do with it. I agree with everyone who voiced their opinions on your situation. - A
vivrantflo Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I'm dating two people but i'm not doing anything sexual with them. Are you serious?? Sex means nothing. You have to be very young. I went on a first date with them, but one lives in a city a few hours away from here so we usually talk online and the other guy went home for a break and coming back in 3 wks, we just talk on the phone everyday. Gotcha... so because you don't see ANY of these guys as often as you'd wish... you start thinking of your ex. Immaturity at it's finest. I hope for your ex's sake, that you never contact him again. but I don't believe in having sex with more than one person and decide who i'm gonna go out by the time the guy who're back home returns. So what I get from this statement, tells me that you really don't want your ex boyfriend back. So what you need to do, is stop sending him messeges, and stop contacting him. Cause he could mis interpret your attempt at contact, for desire of reconciliation.. and that's not happening cause you're dating two guys at the same time. Truthfully, you should leave all three guys alone, take time for yourself, and figure out what you really want.. cause this is brutal
JooLee Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 look, people, dont judge so fast. actually i can understand why she is dating two people at once. she's young and she's got to keep her options open before she settles into something serious. but the question is, are you sure you want to be in another relationship so fast? about your case with your ex boyfriend. i went through the exact same thing. it was an unhealthy, emotionally abusive relationship and it ended really really ugly. i read in your other post titled NC buddy and was wondering maybe we can help each other through this since we both came out from a toxic relationship and i would really appreciate it if we could share experience, since im still figuring out how on earth the relationship became to that and probably by relating with someone who was in the situation as me would do good btw im in NC for a month plus now. its a struggle.
justaman99 Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 I'll have to agree that it's not abnormal to date 2 or even 3 people at the same time. It's how you define dating really. My ex considered us to be dating while we were committed to each other. I consider dating to be pretty casual, the beginning, then in a relationship when commitment is involved (boyfriend girlfriend). Saying to someone I'm dating someone doesn't sound as serious as telling someone I have a boyfriend. To me they are two different levels. So dating 2 people at the same time isn't a bad thing but at some point someone has to go or maybe both. The ****ty part here is if she drags her ex back into this mix. -Just
Dark-N-Romantic Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Alialui, First you need to ask yourself, why did you two break up? What were the days without him really like? Was what you had to put up with him before worth doing it again? Has he worked on himself and have you worked on yourself enough to deal with each other on that level again? Now I must tell you... If you are seeing these two guys and you know they think you are seeing just them... Be careful, a broken heart can be fatal to someone. Plus, would you want one of them or any man your in a relationship with doing you that way. DNR
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