foxh1234 Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Mike: Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her? Rob: You don't call. Mike: But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her. Rob: Right. Mike: So I don't call either way? Rob: Right. Mike: So what's the difference? Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back. Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her? Rob: Right. Mike: Well that sucks. Rob: Yeah, it sucks. Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her? Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite. Mike: What do you mean? Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her. Mike: Well what if she comes back first? Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget. Mike: There's the rub. Rob: There's the rub.
FauxVowel Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Mike: Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her? Rob: You don't call. Mike: But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her. Rob: Right. Mike: So I don't call either way? Rob: Right. Mike: So what's the difference? Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back. Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her? Rob: Right. Mike: Well that sucks. Rob: Yeah, it sucks. Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her? Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite. Mike: What do you mean? Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her. Mike: Well what if she comes back first? Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget. Mike: There's the rub. Rob: There's the rub. I love it.
kizik Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 I'm always quoting Swingers on here. Best goddamn breakup movie ever.
Author foxh1234 Posted June 29, 2008 Author Posted June 29, 2008 I'm always quoting Swingers on here. Best goddamn breakup movie ever. I agree. Very funny movie as well. It is a must see for someone going through a break up.
kizik Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 F, So are you going to talk to her today? How are you?
Author foxh1234 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 F, So are you going to talk to her today? How are you? Hi Kiz, I took her for lunch and a walk on the beach. I then sat her down and told her exactly how I feel and I told her that I don't think I can see her for awhile. She took it great and was very understanding and really appreciated my honesty. She wants to get together when I feel like I am over the ex. She is a great person and I am happy that she understands. I will call her for sure when I feel I can give her 100%. I feel ****ty tonight and even though I have only known her for 2 weeks, I will miss her.
northstar1 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Hi Kiz, I took her for lunch and a walk on the beach. I then sat her down and told her exactly how I feel and I told her that I don't think I can see her for awhile. She took it great and was very understanding and really appreciated my honesty. She wants to get together when I feel like I am over the ex. She is a great person and I am happy that she understands. I will call her for sure when I feel I can give her 100%. I feel ****ty tonight and even though I have only known her for 2 weeks, I will miss her. That's very considerate and mature of you Fox - good karma for you for being honest with her.
Author foxh1234 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 That's very considerate and mature of you Fox - good karma for you for being honest with her. Thanks, I could have kept seeing her, but it is not fair to her and she doesn't deserve to be treated badly. My problems with my ex are just that- my problems. Once I get over this, I will call her again for sure.
northstar1 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Thanks, I could have kept seeing her, but it is not fair to her and she doesn't deserve to be treated badly. My problems with my ex are just that- my problems. Once I get over this, I will call her again for sure. Good plan. I realize I'm no where near ready to date yet. My ex occupies my thoughts way too often still to be fair to a new woman right now.
kizik Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Ready to date or not, no one is interested in me and that is a bummer!
Author foxh1234 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 Ready to date or not, no one is interested in me and that is a bummer! Someone will be Kiz, just when you least expect it. Hang in there man.
northstar1 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Ready to date or not, no one is interested in me and that is a bummer! You just wait till the fall dude, new school, new surroundings and full confidence back - I guarantee you'll be back dating. And by that time, I bet you're also emotionally ready to date.
northstar1 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Thanks guys. Why can't we all live in the same town? Too dangerous for all the ladies I realized that drinking is not good for dealing with this crap. Hangovers make me feel 10x worse about things the next day.
kizik Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 No kidding. I've been hungover twice in the last week and you just want to KILL YOURSELF!
northstar1 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 No kidding. I've been hungover twice in the last week and you just want to KILL YOURSELF! Yep. Today I started feeling claustrophobic and panicky and nearly caved against NC - but forced myself to get out and do stuff. Damn that alcohol.
kyta Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Yep. Today I started feeling claustrophobic and panicky and nearly caved against NC - but forced myself to get out and do stuff. Damn that alcohol. I havent had a drink since all this started, and i am so glad i know how it make you feel the nxt day, not ofr me, i want to get over this as quick as possible not drag it out with hangovers.
Author foxh1234 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 I stopped drinking last week. It was getting a little out of hand. I was never a big drinker but I would go on little binges and drink too much. With this breakup, drinking has not helped me at all. It has made me feel worse. A few months without beer won't kill me.
northstar1 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I stopped drinking last week. It was getting a little out of hand. I was never a big drinker but I would go on little binges and drink too much. With this breakup, drinking has not helped me at all. It has made me feel worse. A few months without beer won't kill me. Smart man - its just hard when it's summer, and some friends like to go out to bars.
Author foxh1234 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 Smart man - its just hard when it's summer, and some friends like to go out to bars. I will still go out, I will just drink water and drive all my friends home.
Author foxh1234 Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 I miss the pain. I wish I could say that Y, but I still feel the f**king pain. Once it is gone, I promise you I won't miss it. I don't care about anything except time going by and getting over this f**king cheating b**ch.
AnLandy Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Thanks, I could have kept seeing her, but it is not fair to her and she doesn't deserve to be treated badly. My problems with my ex are just that- my problems. Once I get over this, I will call her again for sure. From experience, I can say that there are certain aspects of past relationhships that I haven't gottent over, and the same is true of my exes. Each break up leaves you a little less willing to fully invest yourself in the possibility of a future with another person. The older you get, the harder it can be to not make the next partner pay for what the previous partner did. My ex-fiance had been divorced for seven years and had been out of his most recent long-term relationship for over three years. However, the demons were still their. As soon as we got engaged, his insecurities and doubts started to come out of the woodwork. We spent a lot of time discussing his previous marriage in the past months, and I think that he started to come to the realization that he had made some pretty big contributions to the break down of the relationship. Unfortunately, even after seven years, there were still some major dramas that just came pouring into our relationship. That said, I definately think that you did the right thing. There is a big difference between intentionally pursuing a relationship with someone else when you still haven't gotten over a previous relationship and being oblivious to lingering issues about a former relationship. Your decision was mature and respectful. No one likes to be used as a rebound partner, and your respect for her is commendable.
Author foxh1234 Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 From experience, I can say that there are certain aspects of past relationhships that I haven't gottent over, and the same is true of my exes. Each break up leaves you a little less willing to fully invest yourself in the possibility of a future with another person. The older you get, the harder it can be to not make the next partner pay for what the previous partner did. My ex-fiance had been divorced for seven years and had been out of his most recent long-term relationship for over three years. However, the demons were still their. As soon as we got engaged, his insecurities and doubts started to come out of the woodwork. We spent a lot of time discussing his previous marriage in the past months, and I think that he started to come to the realization that he had made some pretty big contributions to the break down of the relationship. Unfortunately, even after seven years, there were still some major dramas that just came pouring into our relationship. That said, I definately think that you did the right thing. There is a big difference between intentionally pursuing a relationship with someone else when you still haven't gotten over a previous relationship and being oblivious to lingering issues about a former relationship. Your decision was mature and respectful. No one likes to be used as a rebound partner, and your respect for her is commendable. Thanks An, I appreciate that very much. I thought I wanted to date and have sex to take my mind off of my ex. This backfired big time and I have been thinking of her more since seeing this other woman, go figure. I will not lead anyone on and I was not comfortable dating her while still thinking about the ex. I promised her I would call her once I got my head straight.
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