shadowsfall Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 It's been 3 weeks of NC with my ex, however it's been 4 months since we broke up. I'm starting to feel less of the pain from the breakup but since she called 3 weeks ago, I feel guilty for not calling her back since then. She kept questioning me as to why I never call her, and she kept asking me if I had a new girlfriend in my life. I told her I don't call her because I thought she didn't want to be with me anymore. She says that's not true but that she IS in fact OK where she is at right now. A month ago I caught her trying to reconnect/catch up with one of her ex bf's from 5 years ago, that hurt like hell. I think she's got some major daddy issues the way she seeks so much male attention all the time.. When I told her I don't have a girlfriend I also threw in there that I don't want one right now either. After I said that It kinda hurt her and the conversation soon died out. Anyway, should I feel guilty for never calling her back after she called me 3 weeks ago? I feel like one of us needs to remain strong and initiate NC and since she keeps calling me I guess I felt compelled to do it. However now I'm feeling bad because even though I know we shouldn't be together, I don't want her to hate me for dropping her just like that. She always hated her sister's ex's when they never called her sister back, so I'm pretty sure she hates me now too. My head is telling me I need to move on from this unhealthy woman, but I still don't want her to forget about me and think that I don't care about her anymore. I'm trying to stay strong and remember all the reasons why I shouldn't call her but my guilt is eating away at me. What do you guys think?
confused and broken Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 NC is the way to go and as you said you "need to move on from this unhealthy woman" it is true and so very hard... I am in the same situation basically and I feel your pain, but I also know from experience the longer you drag it out the longer it will take to get over her... NC keep it up and eventually it will be easier And remember whether she knows it or not this is better for both of you
kizik Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 SF, I appreciated your comment on my thread, and here's one for you. Guilty? Why would you feel guilty? Like you said, someone needs to initiate NC and you're right for doing it. I don't understand when people break up but want to stay in contact. It's like, if we wanted to talk, we'd still be together. There's no limbo, no halfway point. You either are or you're aren't. Women always want to remain friends (I anticipate a rebuttal for that, Carrot where are you?), but that only prolongs the healing. I went through exactly what you're saying (maybe still going through it) in regards to "wondering if she's angry at me." Man, I don't give a f*ck if she's angry, I've got thousands of reasons to hate her, many of which I listed on my other thread. YOU should be angry. Guilty? That's ridiculous. Your ex is incredibly selfish and immature and you should cut that girl off and not talk to her again for a long time, if ever!
Author shadowsfall Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 To C and B, I absolutely agree with you when you said I also know from experience the longer you drag it out the longer it will take to get over her This is one of the most compelling reasons I have to stay with NC and not give up. I know that If I do call her before I'm ready all the feelings will come flushing back and I'll be back in square one. So thank you for reminding me of that fact. Hey Kizik, glad I could share my story on the other post if even only to point out that you are not alone. I guess most woman do wish to remain friends after a breakup, it has been a while since my ex before her but she also did that. I think a lot of it has to do with keeping us around at their disposal and also to keep their enlarged ego's in check. I don't think it has much to do with the hope of us getting back together. I did for the longest time feel angry though, more so because I wanted to get back with her and I feel like I waited too long after our breakup to get back in touch with her. By that time it appeared as though she was at least comfortable being alone, although that may not have been the case. I guess the reason why i'm struggling so much with her is because this WAS the only woman I could ever see myself spending the rest of my life with and starting a family with. Now I'm thinking about how she's going to have the life I wanted with her with someone else. Our personalities were so identical, same humor, same movies, same music, it was like having a best friend as a girlfriend. I've never had that before, and In my experience has been very hard to find. While i'll never go back to her for the reasons I stated on your other post, I can't help these thoughts from entering and registering in my head. Anyway, I really appreciate the insight, it all helps to combat the pain.
Recommended Posts