Corinne Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 I have found that I make my healing harder by thinking constantly about him and the why's and whatevers. I think I should start a NC thing in my own head lol I have found a book that is helping me work this out 'Women Who Think Too Much' forgot who its by but google it Really helped me realise that I don't have to keep going over and over it
mistie03 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I agree. Everytime I try to imagine what is going on with him or the probable reasons for why he did this or that, I make myself STOP! I don't have the answers. I am never going to have the answers. What's the point now anyway? If I did know would it help me? I think not. It's time for me to just close the chapter on it. I do have to remind myself though. Like today. He showed up and took the gas grill from the patio. He bought it for us to use for our cookouts at my house when we were together. As he drove away with it, I immediately started thinking, "I'll bet he's taking it for his fun 4th of July festivities this weekend" or "I'll bet he'll be cooking out with his new gf (I don't even know if he has one!!)". It's all so self destructive and depressing. And it doesn't matter! If I don't make myself stop with that crap, I'll have him married off and living happily ever after with someone else. It's crazy! LOL:laugh:
Author Corinne Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 I think eventually its good to imagine them married off and happy It helps your heart get free but you also have to imagine yourself even happier more often
motive2002 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Is there a "why men think too much" book? I recently found my imagination sending me reeling with irrational thoughts, and it reminded me much of my behavior with the ex-girlfriend. I have irrational thoughts a lot when it comes to women and what their agenda is. It's borne out of jealousy and insecurity, I know that much. But why? Why must I be that way? Why can't I just trust and see things for what they are? I guess it's worse than before since I've been recently rejected. Thrown out like yesterday's news.
critter909 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I think the repetitive thoughts stop with time. I don't think there is a way to stop yourself from thinking about anything, at least I don't know how. I try to stay busy and still think about him. It has gotten a bit better with time passing, that's all I can say
foxh1234 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 It has been 3.5 months and I still think about her alot. NC helps and I have broken NC a few times and it has set me back. It has been a few weeks NC now and I am feeling better but to stop thinking about her completely is impossible. As someone else said, we will stop when it is time to stop.
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