northstar1 Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 The past two days have been so hard not to try and contact the ex. It's been a rough few days - I know NC is the best way to move on and get over here, but damn some days it's so hard. Been NC for about a week or so now, and I had hoped each day would get easier, but doesn't seem so. Damn.
confused and broken Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 I know the feeling.... it only gets worse when the other person contacts you... My advice is to remember that if you break NC it doesn't get better it gets a lot worse. And it can drag on for years...
Author northstar1 Posted June 29, 2008 Author Posted June 29, 2008 I know the feeling.... it only gets worse when the other person contacts you... My advice is to remember that if you break NC it doesn't get better it gets a lot worse. And it can drag on for years... That's true. We had been exchanging a few 'friendly' emails - but all that does is continue the cycle. I wish a week would turn into a month and I'd be in a better spot.
confused and broken Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 You are doing good to be even working on it....... Take it day by day and keep yourself busy... Eventually like you said in a month it will get easier... Then if your ex contacts you it will be difficult but that is when you really have to stick to NC, and before you know it you will be busy with other parts of your life... Hopefully someone else that always helps lol
orangehose Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Hey, it's been over two months for me and I still have rough days. Today was one of them - spent too much time thinking about the good times. It sucks to not know how long this can last, though. I hope not forever.
Author northstar1 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 Hey, it's been over two months for me and I still have rough days. Today was one of them - spent too much time thinking about the good times. It sucks to not know how long this can last, though. I hope not forever. No, definitely not forever, just feels like it.
sultry33 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 hi op, yeah i feel the same way.. some days are far worse than others sometimes i just want to fast forward a few months.. that be good.. but i guess we have to feel this pain for some unknown reason.. i wouldnt wish it on anyone we all known time heals but i just wish it didnt take as long.. im sure he is doing fine.. found an old message the other day saying we make great team.. well he is doing well on his own im not so i guess he was doing ok all along its been a 8days of nc for me too.. hurts
Author northstar1 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 hi op, yeah i feel the same way.. some days are far worse than others sometimes i just want to fast forward a few months.. that be good.. but i guess we have to feel this pain for some unknown reason.. i wouldnt wish it on anyone we all known time heals but i just wish it didnt take as long.. im sure he is doing fine.. found an old message the other day saying we make great team.. well he is doing well on his own im not so i guess he was doing ok all along its been a 8days of nc for me too.. hurts Sorry you are also in this crappy boat . As much as I love summer, I kinda wish it was fall already. What really I think makes it harder for me to get her outta my head, is that we didn't end on bad terms or that, but rather because of distance and future plans. It's not like I can make a top 10 things I hated about you list to justify it.
sultry33 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Sorry you are also in this crappy boat . As much as I love summer, I kinda wish it was fall already. What really I think makes it harder for me to get her outta my head, is that we didn't end on bad terms or that, but rather because of distance and future plans. It's not like I can make a top 10 things I hated about you list to justify it. yeah exactly the same here.. although we broke up due to his job.. too much travelling by car.. kids an house.. not because we fell out of love.. he claims to still love me which yeah makes it harder.. i too wish i could do the list.. yes i wish it was winter, he would have no distraction as no car shows.. normally id be there with him everyweekend and now i have to go out and party all weekend, i know its not too bad but i did all that yrs ago.. infact he helped me get out of that lifestyle.. now its like i have gone back in life he has moved forward.. im finding it hard to believe he loves me.. i mean he is not here.. not contacted me in 8 days.. is showing as single on profiles.. even wanting serious relationship, even though he told me he is going keep busy dont want anyone as he still loves me.. yeah right bring on winter please... i cant go out in the heat anyway and winter is better . although my garden is looking lovely now;)
Author northstar1 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 [/b] yeah exactly the same here.. although we broke up due to his job.. too much travelling by car.. kids an house.. not because we fell out of love.. he claims to still love me which yeah makes it harder.. i too wish i could do the list.. yes i wish it was winter, he would have no distraction as no car shows.. normally id be there with him everyweekend and now i have to go out and party all weekend, i know its not too bad but i did all that yrs ago.. infact he helped me get out of that lifestyle.. now its like i have gone back in life he has moved forward.. im finding it hard to believe he loves me.. i mean he is not here.. not contacted me in 8 days.. is showing as single on profiles.. even wanting serious relationship, even though he told me he is going keep busy dont want anyone as he still loves me.. yeah right bring on winter please... i cant go out in the heat anyway and winter is better . although my garden is looking lovely now;) I hear ya. Although we both decided that regular contact was too hard for us, it does kinda hurt that she isn't try to contact me - I guess that is a sign that she's busy with her new life, which doesn't include me.
sultry33 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I hear ya. Although we both decided that regular contact was too hard for us, it does kinda hurt that she isn't try to contact me - I guess that is a sign that she's busy with her new life, which doesn't include me. yeah we tried to just see each other now an then but it was worse as i felt i was doing all the work/chasing.. then he realised id kissed someone else.. was 2 guys but it wasnt a proper kissing session lol.. but whats that matter really if he was not with me.. he says he keeps busy its his way of coping.. but i hope he misses me.. more now ive broken all contact. i dont know how keeping busy really keeps there mind off it.. im busy but still think of him. it does feel like some love drug.. and i really hate being so addicted.. its not my way really. we will get there.. whereever there is.. just got to be strong.. me i deleted his number.. so no texts from me.. im not contaqcting him again.
Author northstar1 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 yeah we tried to just see each other now an then but it was worse as i felt i was doing all the work/chasing.. then he realised id kissed someone else.. was 2 guys but it wasnt a proper kissing session lol.. but whats that matter really if he was not with me.. he says he keeps busy its his way of coping.. but i hope he misses me.. more now ive broken all contact. i dont know how keeping busy really keeps there mind off it.. im busy but still think of him. it does feel like some love drug.. and i really hate being so addicted.. its not my way really. we will get there.. whereever there is.. just got to be strong.. me i deleted his number.. so no texts from me.. im not contaqcting him again. I hear you, I can't believe I've let this bother me so much, esp when the other person has moved far away.
motive2002 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I want so badly to break this stupid game of "who can hold out the longest without contacting each other." Something tells me that she is being as stubborn as I am. I guess in the long run it really doesn't matter, since we are uncoupled, but it's frustrating to think she could just drop me like that. I have doubts that she really wanted it this way. But here I am with stubborn NC.
kizik Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I don't think my ex is playing a game. I think it's easy for her to not call me. But I'm sure she thinks of me from time to time, and that's gotta hurt.
Author northstar1 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 I don't think my ex is playing a game. I think it's easy for her to not call me. But I'm sure she thinks of me from time to time, and that's gotta hurt. I don't think mine is playing either - rather she's so wrapped up in her new life that most thoughts of life back home are shelved.
sunshinegirl Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I don't think mine is playing either - rather she's so wrapped up in her new life that most thoughts of life back home are shelved. Me three. E has his new life with the hooch. If he does think of me, it's with guilt, which in itself would prevent him from contacting me. Our last contact was my email to him saying how ****ty it was to cheat on me and how angry and disappointed I was in him. My guess is that he wouldn't want to face me even if things have fallen apart with the hooch.
stlnsmile Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I don't think my ex is playing a game. I think it's easy for her to not call me. But I'm sure she thinks of me from time to time, and that's gotta hurt. I don't think my ex is playing a game either, think he just doesn't give a sh**. I don't think he thinks of me at all. I think he's perfectly content with his new life or he would be calling me. He must be happy. So I better be happy too:)
Habibti Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I don't think my ex is playing a game either, think he just doesn't give a sh**. I don't think he thinks of me at all. I think he's perfectly content with his new life or he would be calling me. He must be happy. So I better be happy too:) I beg to differ, I mean maybe you're right. Perhaps he DOESN'T think of you, however going off the principle alone that "he hasn't called so he must not". Men are stubborn and there's a lot of pride that goes on. I've had exes contact me after months, even years.Telling me how badly they wanted to call or contact me but didn't over some stupid reason at present time.The thing about love is, when it's love you can't just turn it off.Absence makes the heart grow fonder in cases like that.Why men get stubborn or women get stubborn and don't call??? Hell if I'll ever understand it.
orangehose Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I have no frickin clue why he doesn't contact me, other than perhaps him being an immature ****head, as he amply proved with some other post-breakup behavior. I keep attributing it to 'style'... maybe the same reason he avoids me and doesn't say hi when I run into him. Maybe he's a bit cowardly and afraid of my (potential) wrath. Maybe he has nothing to say - although some part of me would greatly appreciate a short email to the extent of, 'I'm sorry I caused you pain, but I felt this needed to happen. Best wishes etc'... It doesn't really provide 'closure', but at least it would allow me to conclude something other than that he was a total immature ****, which the rest of his post-breakup behavior seems to confirm.
orangehose Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Okay, I did think about it, and came up with these reasons, in no particular order: 1. He doesn't want to potentially face my wrath. 2. He doesn't want to have to explain himself (we had a very sudden, unexpected breakup). 3. He doesn't have anything to say. 4. He doesn't want to encourage me to feel hope of a potential reconciliation, because he doesn't want one. 5. He's angry at me for reasons I don't know. 6. He thinks it would promote his healing to stay NC. 7. He feels guilty and wants to just avoid the situation. 8. He's too prideful. 9. He feels he made the right decision, and doesn't think about me very much.
Author northstar1 Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 I have no frickin clue why he doesn't contact me, other than perhaps him being an immature ****head, as he amply proved with some other post-breakup behavior. I keep attributing it to 'style'... maybe the same reason he avoids me and doesn't say hi when I run into him. Maybe he's a bit cowardly and afraid of my (potential) wrath. Maybe he has nothing to say - although some part of me would greatly appreciate a short email to the extent of, 'I'm sorry I caused you pain, but I felt this needed to happen. Best wishes etc'... It doesn't really provide 'closure', but at least it would allow me to conclude something other than that he was a total immature ****, which the rest of his post-breakup behavior seems to confirm. Orange, I'm not sure you would really want to hear from him........way too tempting to respond back and keep the cycle going.
backto1 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I beg to differ, I mean maybe you're right. Perhaps he DOESN'T think of you, however going off the principle alone that "he hasn't called so he must not". Men are stubborn and there's a lot of pride that goes on. I've had exes contact me after months, even years.Telling me how badly they wanted to call or contact me but didn't over some stupid reason at present time.The thing about love is, when it's love you can't just turn it off.Absence makes the heart grow fonder in cases like that.Why men get stubborn or women get stubborn and don't call??? Hell if I'll ever understand it. I don't know about this. People DO want to contact each other but they know they shouldn't. When things got bad with my girlfriend in the past, she sure as sh*t knew how to contact me and made it very clear she wanted us to work it out together, as a couple. And, most likely, the people who've been dumped made it PLENTY clear they didn't like ending things. The other person knows you didn't want to let go and they probably think they could have you back any time they're ready. The only way to move on is to move on.
stlnsmile Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Okay, I did think about it, and came up with these reasons, in no particular order: 1. He doesn't want to potentially face my wrath. 2. He doesn't want to have to explain himself (we had a very sudden, unexpected breakup). 3. He doesn't have anything to say. 4. He doesn't want to encourage me to feel hope of a potential reconciliation, because he doesn't want one. 5. He's angry at me for reasons I don't know. 6. He thinks it would promote his healing to stay NC. 7. He feels guilty and wants to just avoid the situation. 8. He's too prideful. 9. He feels he made the right decision, and doesn't think about me very much. Well in my own personal case, I will just whittle that list down to number nine:) Well maybe number eight too, but thats a stretch:)
stlnsmile Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I don't know about this. People DO want to contact each other but they know they shouldn't. When things got bad with my girlfriend in the past, she sure as sh*t knew how to contact me and made it very clear she wanted us to work it out together, as a couple. And, most likely, the people who've been dumped made it PLENTY clear they didn't like ending things. The other person knows you didn't want to let go and they probably think they could have you back any time they're ready. The only way to move on is to move on. Ha, it would be a cold day in hell before that ever happened, just shows how bad some ego's can get. If an ex who dumped you really thinks they could just have you back, they've got real real problems. To quote Pulp Fiction "he better be ten times more charmin than that Arnold on Green Acres.":lmao::laugh: But seriously backto1, I do appreciate the response.
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