Nevermind Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 I have been talking with a girl at uni more often and more personal than before. We talked about the suicide of an ex of her and how it affected her, about how she stopped taking drugs and how other people weren't supportive. We even talked about my ex and I didn't feel the need to close up. It was really nice. A few weeks later, she had a hard shape in her breast. She was really scared and we talked about it for a couple of hours. I offered her help and told her to count on me if she needed anything (and gave her a 5-leave clover that I had found a few days before, silly but I felt like it). My therapist said that I did good, when I recounted the conversation and actually encouraged me to pursue this friendship. She found out that it was not cancer (but an infected cyst) and we were all really happy. She send me a text about it, and I tried to call...but no answer. So I e-mailed. No answer. A few days later I invited her to do something together, no answer. I didn't hear about her, then I got an e-mail asking me about class-assignments. It was written in a weird way, as if I was jealous about her achievements in class. She didn't treat me wrong, but I feel weirded out. I was not needy, since I just invited her once, and wanting to tell her how great it was that she is healthy, isn't clingy either - right? She didn't have to react to any of this, but no reaction at all and then a 180 back to 3 months ago hurts. Just a rant I guess. *sigh* Friendships are not for me.
xjohnsgirlx Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 i dont think you should let this get you down and stop pursueing friendships. You both were in it together talking about the exs and the cyst. The way you have explained it to me is like something scared her off? I wouldnt give up hope because she revealed some really personal feelings to you and i think she has trust in you but maybe is a bit insecure? Just take it slow i reakon. I believe there is a friendship between you both
Ronni_W Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 , about how she stopped taking drugs and how other people weren't supportive. Or she started doing drugs again and is in a place of guilt, shame and/or chaotic thinking? Maybe do something like an email saying you remember how she talked about people who weren't supportive when she was kicking drugs, and you don't want to be like those people, so is there anything going on right now for which she'd like your support? If not, to get in touch with you if ever there is anything with which you may be able to help. If it's about drugs and depending where she is in the cycle, she'll either get really defensive (tell you to "get lost", call you names), or she will appreciate that you care. If she does "reject" your offer of friendship now, it is NOT about you. And there would be little you can do except decide whether you want to be there for her if she ever does reach out to you...and what would be your conditions for a future friendship (set your boundaries about how far you will let yourself be sucked into someone else's drug habit.) Best of luck.
Recommended Posts