Yamaha Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Have you ever heard of an ex wanting to be friends after dating and they create an elaborate scheme to test your friendship? She invited me to a family function and told me her boyfriend and her had broken up. We arrive with the kids and she hardly talks to me or introduces me to her family or parents. She then tells me that her boyfriend wants to be there but her family doesn't like him. I get mad and ask her why she told me that they were broken up if indeed they weren't and she says she was testing me to see if I could really be just a friend. I ask her if she only invited me because her family doesn't like her bf and she says she invited me as her friend. This is not what she implied when inviting me. She lied to me to test if I would be just a friend or if I would see it as an opportunity to seek more. I think this is manipulation and I now want nothing to do with her and she me. What are your comments? Have you ever heard of anyone going to such lengths to test you? I might say I still like her more than a friend but I think this is just outrageous.
johan Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 That was stupid of her. Pretty callous actually. It's disrespectful to "test" someone. Not to mention she lied. And I'm sure the lie had more to do with getting you to agree to show up than it was a test of anything. If she wanted to test you, lying to you didn't even prove anything. She could have just as easily told you the truth up front and gauged your reaction right then. Dumb girl games.
daphne Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 it does sound kind of goofy but apparently it worked. you got angry and she got to find out soon enough that your feelings weren't simply platonic. If you had been platonic, you would have been puzzled and perhaps annoyed, but not angry. Exes as friends doesn't work very often. You have to be unattractive to each other on some level.
Author Yamaha Posted June 29, 2008 Author Posted June 29, 2008 That was stupid of her. Pretty callous actually. It's disrespectful to "test" someone. Not to mention she lied. And I'm sure the lie had more to do with getting you to agree to show up than it was a test of anything. If she wanted to test you, lying to you didn't even prove anything. She could have just as easily told you the truth up front and gauged your reaction right then. Dumb girl games. I totally agree. I mean she asked me there and then pretty much ignored and watched me the whole time to see how I would behave. After we left she told me all the things I had done wrong at the party and that she was being aloof because she was testing me to see my true intentions. And all this was after a 2 month NC, which she broke, only to call and set me up and test me.
johan Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Maybe you should come up with a few tests of your own for her. Maybe make a date with her and take her to a strip club. See if she really wants to be buddies.
Author Yamaha Posted June 29, 2008 Author Posted June 29, 2008 Maybe you should come up with a few tests of your own for her. Maybe make a date with her and take her to a strip club. See if she really wants to be buddies. Ha. It does seem like she has some other motives for the whole scenario. I mean why would u go 2 months of NC, then call and tell me your available only to test me and see if I can really be just a friend? The women needs some interest in her life as it seems she is unhappy with the current bf. ( although she claims she loves him with all her heart )
Ssheena Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 I hope this gives you or that you see her for the beaotch she is. What she did is a low down nasty trick to see how high you would jump for her and I hope one day someone does the same to her. Maybe it's time to even stop liking her as a friend. I wouldn't treat one of my friends like that, would you?
Author Yamaha Posted June 29, 2008 Author Posted June 29, 2008 I hope this gives you or that you see her for the beaotch she is. What she did is a low down nasty trick to see how high you would jump for her and I hope one day someone does the same to her. Maybe it's time to even stop liking her as a friend. I wouldn't treat one of my friends like that, would you? No, I would not. Believe me, I am well on my way of seeing her for what she really is and that is not my friend!!!!
softsilkbreeze Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Was she lying to test you or did she use you to avoid further family conflict? I think the test was just her excuse.
Author Yamaha Posted June 29, 2008 Author Posted June 29, 2008 Was she lying to test you or did she use you to avoid further family conflict? I think the test was just her excuse. You could be right. She does not get along with her parents and I also think part of it was to use me to avoid her family. But if that is true then why did she pretty much avoid me as well? I accused her of using me because her family does not like her bf. The thing is I also had never meet her family so I went into it blind and she did not help me at all. When she called me she said, now that her and her bf were not together she wanted to get back with her family since she had not communicated much with them for 3 years. This was to be her introduction to her family. When she told me of her break up with the bf and she wanted me to be part of her "back with her family plan" I assumed she wanted to show me off to her family. When we got there she pretty much sat by herself and I went around introducing MYSELF to her family. I got upset and asked her why I was here and that is when she told me of her test to see if I could be just friends. It's all to confusing to me and not something I want to deal with anyway.
Recommended Posts