mscomplex Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 My previous posts are related to the thoughts I have when considering those types of things. (NC, returning things, to call or not to call etc) You have to be open to the outcome going either way. While we cannot control other people's feelings in instance of a breakup I think I wanted to appear to be in control of my own even when I was not. While I am giving, expressive and appropriately emotional in a relationship, when I experienced this breakup, I had to make a decision that was best for me. When I took my ex back his things, I was pissed off that we had been friends for 20 yrs and he had wanted to date me that entire time and when I finally said yes he all but bolted. After him being so sure of "us" for so long. I felt jilted. Like I had ruined a perfectly good friendship. In the back of my mind I sort of knew he would not be happy with me cutting off all communications and dropping his things off when I knew he would not be there and I knew NC would not make him happy as well. Although I knew he would not like it, I did not expect for him to react. I did it because "I" was pissed and wanted him to be pissed as well. I know it's childish but that was how "I" chose to deal with things. Even if I never saw or heard him be angry about it I knew he would not like it. I really had no expectations except to take his control away as it relates to me. When we broke up he had told me he would get his things whenever and I wasn't having it. While he got to say the relationship was over, I was not allowing him to say when he would come in and out of my life. I did not know he would continue to send text messages especially when I know he is not into texting. I told him not to call me because I needed to deal with my feelings. I did NC and returned his things for me. Like I said before, you have to do what is best for you. You may or may not have regrets for what you chose to do as well as what you chose not to do. All I am saying is expect nothing so that whatever happens....happens. It really could go either way. If you decide to go forward with the text, just don't expect it to go a certain way because it may not. It will be like breaking up and starting to grieve all over again. Remember your "true" motive for contact.
Author jmmm Posted September 1, 2008 Author Posted September 1, 2008 thank you its been a long summer
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