Author chasingrainbows25 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 Yeh he txt to say sorry yesterday. Then last night he txt about a million times telling me about the tunes he was listening to and would I listen too. Telling me he was feeling a bit down cuz he was remebering a close friend that had died (10 yrs ago). He sounded quite down and I felt a bit sorry for him. Cant wait to see him at work again tomorrow so that I can read in his eyes whats going on with him. Did I just catch him at a bad weekend on the anniversary of something important to him or is he trying to tell me something. Jeez this is tough, i'm not sure I need the complications CRx
Calisto Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Well if it was the anniversary of something important and that's really why he cancelled the date, then why did he lie? Also why did he set up the date for that particular weekend? You have no reason to feel bad, this guy sounds like a total weirdo. RED FLAGS
D-Lish Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Yeh he txt to say sorry yesterday. Then last night he txt about a million times telling me about the tunes he was listening to and would I listen too. Telling me he was feeling a bit down cuz he was remebering a close friend that had died (10 yrs ago). He sounded quite down and I felt a bit sorry for him. Cant wait to see him at work again tomorrow so that I can read in his eyes whats going on with him. Did I just catch him at a bad weekend on the anniversary of something important to him or is he trying to tell me something. Jeez this is tough, i'm not sure I need the complications CRx Well, I can't see it as being a blow off if the two of you work together and you already have somewhat of a connection... I mean there is something established there already... I'm not sure why he didn't mention a reschedule date as soon as possible. I agree with Jilly- about asking yourself if you are prepared to deal with the possibility of baby mamma drama. I think it's up to him to reschedule asap... I'd see how he handles that first and go from there. If he doesn't reschedule but keeps up with the tons of texting, I think it's safe to assume he is playing games. Until you actually have a date- it's keeping things in the "safe" friend's zone. I wouldn't allow him to do that for too long if that's what he is doing. I think it's too soon to tell until he makes a move to reschedule- which is his responsibility by the way!
Author chasingrainbows25 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 Oh he has already rescheduled. Sorry I didnt mention that. Initially on Saturday when he called to say that he'd not had any response from his ex about the kids etc I said to him, ok do you want to reschedule or just leave things as they are and immediately he said oh we're definately rescheduling, he said he was so nervous and excited about seeing me and was dissapointed that things got in the way. I never had a doubt about the reschedule thing. So here's the timeline - (doing this so its straight in my head a bit !) Sat lunchtime - txt's to say he might have a prob later Sat afternoon - txt's to say that he's had no response from ex Sat teatime - Calls to say she's claims her phone was off and that he's now got to look after kids (btw he adores time with them) No comms till Sunday afternoon Sun afternoon - Calls to say he's sorry about missing my "goodnight txt" last night, that he was busy. Sun evening - txts loads of times telling me how he's feeling (I get the sense that he's a bit down) My thoughts are this - He feels a bit guilty that he let his ex interfer with his plans He put a bit of distance between us because the connection is strong and with work committments etc its going to be a week or so before we both have time again to get together. He is an emotional person and when he gets down he REALLY gets down and last night for whatever reason, he was down. I've only ever been sympathetic and polite to his actions and as I dont really know him yet (or him me) its going to take a bit of time I guess to make this happen. I truely adore him and I think he feels the same way however i think there are still things that worry him. I think he feels we come from diff backgrounds and that perhaps he's not good enought. I think, because I'm in a much more senior position at work, that may be a bit threatning. All of these things I'm taking into consideration and just keeping my fingers crossed that we can make it to the next stage at some point. Thanks for all your comments and if there's any developments I'll post. CR x
stillafool Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 He is an emotional person and when he gets down he REALLY gets down and last night for whatever reason, he was down. Wow, this is a red flag! Nothing is worst than an overly emotional man. I think, because I'm in a much more senior position at work, that may be a bit threatning. Will you get in trouble at work for dating this guy?
imbewildered Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Wow, this is a red flag! Nothing is worst than an overly emotional man. Will you get in trouble at work for dating this guy? I am waiting for some Aunty Betty here to start with the usual hysterics about how he is a potential abuser, is immature, is insecure or a stalking risk ...have I missed any of the popular unfounded accustions aimed at those guys who do not perform like a trained seal? OH, I see the "Red Flags" crock already being promoted too. Is there no other expression available - it gets real old. If fact, the term "Red Flag" was passe c.1996 Yawn.
carhill Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 have I missed any of the popular unfounded accustions aimed at those guys who do not perform like a trained seal? Yeah, when they passed out my genetics, someone sure didn't get that memo
Trialbyfire Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I do see man-drama happening and not just with the ex. Strap yourself in and get ready for the emotional rollercoaster.
stillafool Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I am waiting for some Aunty Betty here to start with the usual hysterics about how he is a potential abuser, is immature, is insecure or a stalking risk ...have I missed any of the popular unfounded accustions aimed at those guys who do not perform like a trained seal? OH, I see the "Red Flags" crock already being promoted too. Is there no other expression available - it gets real old. If fact, the term "Red Flag" was passe c.1996 Yawn. Okay, it's a "bad sign" is that better for you? Actually on the emotional tip none of the above even entered my mind. I was thinking of a very emotional ex of mind who's emotions were constantly on a rollercoaster (crying, pouting, drama king). I guess some women don't mind that.
Author chasingrainbows25 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 Well thank you all for your incredible insight, actually some of the posts have made me laugh hehe! We'll see at work tomorrow how the land lies. As for "red flags" or "bad signs" I will be most definately keeping my eyes/ears open. as for getting in trouble at work, that would be a NO. I still think that he's a bit intimidated and perhaps not ready for a relationship. I know we have a connection but that doesnt mean that we're joined at the hip. Anyway, we'll see tomorrow what happens and if its not to be, then its not to be. Nothing lost !
Jilly Bean Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I still think that he's a bit intimidated and perhaps not ready for a relationship. Hon, this is hardly ever actually true. This is chick rationalization for why a guy isn't interested. I think TBF is totally right, here. Why all the texting? Why did you have to be the one to ask to reschedule? He cancelled on YOU. He does seem to bring a lot of drama. The ex will also bring a heap, apparently. Take a step WAY back and let him make some moves/reparations. Continue to be cautious and let him pursue you. And remember, just because you connect with someone, doesn't mean that's enough of a reason to date.
mortensorchid Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Has he offered to reschedule? I would have called myself to cancel rather than just send some second hand communication (text message, email, etc.). It's just more courteous, not to mention braver. But, if it was a true emergency, I guess I would understand. Time will tell, but if it's one excuse after another then cut your losses and leave.
Trialbyfire Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Hon, this is hardly ever actually true. This is chick rationalization for why a guy isn't interested. I think TBF is totally right, here. Why all the texting? Why did you have to be the one to ask to reschedule? He cancelled on YOU. He does seem to bring a lot of drama. The ex will also bring a heap, apparently. Take a step WAY back and let him make some moves/reparations. Continue to be cautious and let him pursue you. And remember, just because you connect with someone, doesn't mean that's enough of a reason to date. I agree with this. A guy who angsts so much now...I dunno... If he has an ex-W and a child, he must be in his late twenties, if not in his thirties. By this time, most guys would have settled into a more controlled emotional state, unless he's still off-balance from the split. If so, the word rebound comes to mind.
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