chasingrainbows25 Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 So tonight was our first date, or supposed to be. We've been anticipating it for days and both looking forward to it. He calls me this morning and says that he has to have his little one tonight because his ex has to do something. He say's he's trying to get it sorted and will let me know as soon as he hears from her. We're supposed to be meeting at 7pm and its now 6.30pm and all I've had is a txt an hr ago saying still, "no answer from ex", sorry. I feel really disapointed and let down. Could he be lying? Help !!!!!!
carhill Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Phone date? Just a thought Don't know your dynamic, but, if I was similarly caught off-guard with such an event, my lady would get some good phone after junior or miss was bedded down for the night
stillafool Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Since you both have been anticipating this date for days it is unlikely he is lying. You may as well get used to this since he has a child. Did you guys reschedule? Whatever you don't don't be pissed at him because as you know his kid comes first.
Krytie TV Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Since you both have been anticipating this date for days it is unlikely he is lying. I have to grudgingly disagree, though it just may be unique to my area. I have had more than one occasion where I thought the other person was genuinely looking forward to a date only to have them cancel with some lame excuse or not show up. In all cases, they were never heard from again. This happens rather frequently.
Balthazar Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Hmm... I wouldn't cancel a date with a woman I was really attracted to. Unless something really major came up. But it would have be very significant indeed... CHeers,
Trialbyfire Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 If this is for real, keep in mind that sometimes exes will attempt to deliberately sabotage an opportunity to date. I would take a wait and see approach. If he doesn't resched, write him off.
Author chasingrainbows25 Posted June 28, 2008 Author Posted June 28, 2008 Well he's just sent a txt saying that his ex claims she had her phone off all afternoon and didnt get his message about having plans. He seems genuinely sorry and was so looking forward to tonight but feels that his ex has just walked all over him and feels guilty about letting her. I said that I understood and asked if he wanted to reschedule or just leave things as they were.............so we'll see what the response is. I really like this guy and want to get to know him better. Life is crap sometimes
Trialbyfire Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Well he's just sent a txt saying that his ex claims she had her phone off all afternoon and didnt get his message about having plans. He seems genuinely sorry and was so looking forward to tonight but feels that his ex has just walked all over him and feels guilty about letting her. I said that I understood and asked if he wanted to reschedule or just leave things as they were.............so we'll see what the response is. I really like this guy and want to get to know him better. Life is crap sometimes She's playing games. If this turns into anything real, watch out for ex-drama!
johan Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 It's better to take him at his word unless you have clear evidence to the contrary. I realize that it's possible that he's not being truthful. But if you let that be your first thought, and if you dwell on it, then you'll just add more negative energy to the situation. You can maintain your dignity and be completely self-sufficient and also trust people and respect what they tell you. It's worthwhile to find the balance. If it turns out that he's not being brutally honest with you, then try to understand that it's nothing personal. If you are understanding and show some grace when that disappointing reality comes to light, he'll respect you much more. And respect can lead to deeper feelings.
carrotgirl Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Well he's just sent a txt saying that his ex claims she had her phone off all afternoon and didnt get his message about having plans. He seems genuinely sorry and was so looking forward to tonight but feels that his ex has just walked all over him and feels guilty about letting her. I said that I understood and asked if he wanted to reschedule or just leave things as they were.............so we'll see what the response is. I really like this guy and want to get to know him better. Life is crap sometimes If it was me and I really like the guy, and it's a first date, and I really think he's not backing out.... I would call back and say I'm into you... are you into me? If the answer is yes, I'd say lets just change our plans. We can order a pizza and hang out together with junior. We can make ice cream sundaes for dessert. It'll be fun! I'd let him know I still want the raincheck for the get dolled up date. But why miss out on a good time together just because of some idea of what a date has to be? Life doesn't have to be crap. Besides, he does have a kid and if you dig each other you can make out after junior goes to bed like you're just babysitting... it really will be fun! Carrot
Author chasingrainbows25 Posted June 29, 2008 Author Posted June 29, 2008 Not as simple as that carrot but appreciate what you said. I've never met his daughter and wouldnt want to encroach on his time with her anyway. So its weird because there hasnt been a night thats gone by without him txting at some point during the evening and then a txt to say goodnight, but tonight there's been nothing. Nothing since the txt to say we definately have to reschedule. The silence is deafening. I'm half thinking that he feels really bad about letting me down and doesnt know what to say and the other half of me is thinking perhaps he got a better offer and lied. C'est la vie and all that.
imbewildered Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 It's better to take him at his word unless you have clear evidence to the contrary. I realize that it's possible that he's not being truthful. But if you let that be your first thought, and if you dwell on it, then you'll just add more negative energy to the situation. . I have two Ex's and the last thing they wanted is for me to meet a new woman and move on..They tried eveything that they could to undermine me and my future WITHOUT them ..Character defects in some women. However it does appear ( on the scant evidence so far ) that he is a little timid. Give this time and do NOT speculate - your catastrophizing rarely turns out to be true. Men usually tell you how it is for them. You are running into the live remains of his past. Stay in until you WANT to get out with good reasons.,
carrotgirl Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Well here's to taking the high road and taking people at their word until we have reason to do otherwise! It's an early night yet. Let's give it some time before we take it out back and bury it shall we?
Trialbyfire Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 I have two Ex's and the last thing they wanted is for me to meet a new woman and move on..They tried eveything that they could to undermine me and my future WITHOUT them ..Character defects in some women. However it does appear ( on the scant evidence so far ) that he is a little timid. Give this time and do NOT speculate - your catastrophizing rarely turns out to be true. Men usually tell you how it is for them. You are running into the live remains of his past. Stay in until you WANT to get out with good reasons., Hahahahahaha....sorry, that was pretty funny. While men may believe they're being upfront, more times than not, they don't even know how they feel or are in denial, nvm being able to state their emotional needs.
imbewildered Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Hahahahahaha....sorry, that was pretty funny. While men may believe they're being upfront, more times than not, they don't even know how they feel or are in denial, nvm being able to state their emotional needs. Speak for yourself, Bruce.
Trialbyfire Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Speak for yourself, Bruce. No probs, spikeychick!
imbewildered Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 No probs, spikeychick! Wow, that is high praise indeed !
sid3 Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 The silence is deafening. C'est la vie and all that. Yeah it is. You can end the silence by sending him a text. I like carrot's earlier reply to your post. You rock Carrot! It being a first date, I can see why you wouldn't want to encroach on his time with his daughter.
Author chasingrainbows25 Posted June 29, 2008 Author Posted June 29, 2008 Well I did end the silence (at least from my side) and sent a txt saying Goodnight, shame things didnt work out tonight but there will be other nights, sleep well. So far, nothing back. Will update if anything changes. Oh perhaps I should have just kept my little heart locked up, I'm not sure I'm ready for another dissapointment. CR x
stillafool Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 I think that the proper thing for this guy to do is answer your text right back with a reschedule date.....to hell with that, this warrants a phone call. How long does it take to call and make things okay with you?
carhill Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Rewind to post #2 Takes two seconds to call and five minutes for some mea culpa and oh baby do me now
melodymatters Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 No probs, spikeychick! Not sure what the "bruce' comment means, but i TOTALLY suspected spikey chick was a dude all along, am i right ??!!??
Trialbyfire Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Not sure what the "bruce' comment means, but i TOTALLY suspected spikey chick was a dude all along, am i right ??!!?? You're good!
carhill Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 OK, so Bruce is the shark from Nemo, imbewildered is spikeychick and has a penis and let's see what other on-topic items we can bewilder the OP with So, OP, has this doting dad called to reschedule? He should, you know. I'd be making a special effort
Jilly Bean Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Chasing - I'd be super disappointed in the cancellation, too. Couple of things to keep in mind. If he is telling you the truth, then he has given you a glimpse into his baby Mama drama. You need to decide if you are up for all of that. Also, I do think he should have been less cavalier about cancelling and a little more interested in rescheduling right away. Have you heard back from your text?
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