fral945 Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 I'm looking for advice. I'm trying to make myself more approachable to women. Although I do the approaching many times, I like to be approached as well. I'm generally nice and cordial but try not to be too much of a hound dog. I've been told a few times I seem like the type that is already married (whatever that means, lol). I'd like to not put off that vibe, but I'm not sure what is causing it. My question for the women is: What tips you off that a guy is single (other than him hitting on you, obviously)? Are there certain ways a guy acts, or types of dress or behavior that tells you?
carhill Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Guys who are married (I am so I kinda understand this) give off a vibe that it really doesn't matter whether they interact with a woman or not. I travel a fair amount so I've experimented with this recently. Regardless of whether I wear my ring or not, the looks and approaches are the same. I never had this happen when I was single. Never. It was (then) like I was invisible. So, I presume, something within me has changed and women respond to it. I like socio-psychological experiments so that's all it was. Suicide in the name of science Anyway, the point is you have to feel less interested and more confident in your own space (wrt women), not merely act that way.
Author fral945 Posted June 28, 2008 Author Posted June 28, 2008 Guys who are married (I am so I kinda understand this) give off a vibe that it really doesn't matter whether they interact with a woman or not. I travel a fair amount so I've experimented with this recently. Regardless of whether I wear my ring or not, the looks and approaches are the same. I never had this happen when I was single. Never. It was (then) like I was invisible. So, I presume, something within me has changed and women respond to it. I like socio-psychological experiments so that's all it was. Suicide in the name of science Anyway, the point is you have to feel less interested and more confident in your own space (wrt women), not merely act that way. lol, I kinda do the same thing, social experiments just to see how people react. I agree with you about feeling less interested and more confident, but that's easier to do when your getting laid at home. Hard to hide genuine interest. Maybe I just need to do some more experimentation.
carhill Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Who said anything about getting laid at home? Suicide, part deux....
Trialbyfire Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 What tips you off that a guy is single (other than him hitting on you, obviously)? fral945, married men hit on women as well so this isn't an indicator. Are there certain ways a guy acts, or types of dress or behavior that tells you? The wedding band is usually a good indicator! You'll sometimes find that there's no wedding band but tan lines or indentations on the appropriate finger are also telling. There's no obvious difference to me, between married and single men. If you want women to approach you, use humour and flattery. When applying humour, make it witty, flirty, kind of cute and subtle. Graphic humour tends to crash and burn with a lot of women.
Author fral945 Posted June 28, 2008 Author Posted June 28, 2008 If you want women to approach you, use humour and flattery. When applying humour, make it witty, flirty, kind of cute and subtle. Graphic humour tends to crash and burn with a lot of women. Thanks. I have trouble with the subtle part sometimes. I'm not sure if you can tell from my posts or not, but in person I'm generally a man of few words, and when I say things I'm pretty direct. Not much of a BSer. I don't mean that I tell women "You're hot!" but I'm not the world's greatest flirt. Guess I'll just have to keep practicing.
Ronni_W Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Are there certain ways a guy acts, or types of dress or behavior that tells you? Hhmmm...I think the way I try to tell if a guy is approachable/interested is probably in the eyes, first -- I guess kind of 'smiling & inviting' would be what I'm looking for. Also in the way he "carries himself" -- body language that again is 'inviting' and relaxed -- open and not all folded up. (Does that make ANY sense??? ) Signals that suggest, "come on in." Generally friendly and warm without appearing to try too hard. My (ex) husband never owned a wedding ring, so I don't look for those or for tan lines or anything. But, to my knowledge, I've never approached a married man, either. Not sure how that worked out.
Trialbyfire Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 Thanks. I have trouble with the subtle part sometimes. I'm not sure if you can tell from my posts or not, but in person I'm generally a man of few words, and when I say things I'm pretty direct. Not much of a BSer. I don't mean that I tell women "You're hot!" but I'm not the world's greatest flirt. Guess I'll just have to keep practicing. fral, it's nice to see someone who's straight up. I'm guessing that women must find it refreshing. Forget the b/s, just be yourself!
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