replicator Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 It's strange. I thought I was making good progress, but then today I felt worse than ever. The pain was so deep, almost like it was overflowing and I had been holding it back for so long. I was driving home tonight, and I couldn't stop crying. The pain was so freaking deep. Loved her for 10 years, did everything for her. Didn't hold back a thing. How can she just walk away? Underneath the shock, I still hadn't come to grips with what happened. Now as it becomes more clear, the knife edge is sharper and the wound is deeper than I knew. I just don't know how she could let it all slip away.
pickingupthepieces Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 It's amazing how it sneaks up on us! And out of nowhere.. things that didn't seem to hurt SO much before seem unbearable and unbelieveable. I think we all begin to heal and then just have a couple of bumps in the road. Thats probably all your experiencing now.. 10 yrs IS a long time... don't beat yourself up over it, let yourself feel whatever you need to feel!
kizik Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Rep, you haven't posted a whole lot, comparatively, but I've always felt a connection with you. Expect setbacks, random pain, sudden hurt. A girl in our lives for so long cannot be so easily dismissed, even if they dismiss our memories so quickly. I truly think, as the days and weeks go by, that the key is to truly understand and appreciate the "solitary life". It hurts so much to see all my friends have girlfriends, but they are avoiding the solitary state. To be alone makes you perceive the world more realistically. I mean it. -k
kyta Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 it has sneaked up on me today as well, feel so lonely, im missing thing we havent even done, i miss the fact shes not going to be here again, god its killing today, i canb definitly understand why ppl just want to die, if you cant se a future, then what is the point in going on, i nkow there is so much life to live, i understand all that, i understand i will meet some one new, but i cant understand why i miss her so much, i dont want to be with her, it hurts being with her, it hurts being without her, o i dont know, my head is just f*cked up.
foxh1234 Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 They are just minor setbacks folks. We all have them and we will all get through it and be whole again. 8 years together and 3 months since breakup and I have the same bad days. As Kiz said, we cannot forget 8 or 10 years in a few months. Not if we loved deeply and cared deeply. For me, the good days are outweighing the bad days and that is progress in my book. We will get better a little each day and then a year from now we will look back and hardly remember any of this. ( this is my hope and I'm sticking to it ) I get up each day and take whatever my mind throws at me, good or bad. It is all I can do. I will not sit around waiting for the pain and hurt to stop, I am doing things to make it stop. You will feel better, I promise you that, we all will. Just tough it out man, peace.
Integrare Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Seriously? 8 years and 3 months since your breakup and you still have down days? WTF, I really don't want to go through that! Today must be a bad day, I woke up feeling like crap also. I really don't like it and I don't want these feelings to last. Up and down, like a friggin roller coaster. Has anyone tried hypnosis?
foxh1234 Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Seriously? 8 years and 3 months since your breakup and you still have down days? WTF, I really don't want to go through that! Today must be a bad day, I woke up feeling like crap also. I really don't like it and I don't want these feelings to last. Up and down, like a friggin roller coaster. Has anyone tried hypnosis? Hi, no we were together 8 years and we broke up 3 months ago. If I still feel bad 8 years from now, shoot me.
Author replicator Posted June 28, 2008 Author Posted June 28, 2008 Thanks guys.. I've been looking at my life, and I have this urge to change everything, but it isn't so simple. I invested everything in her, and not enough in my self. Most of my friendships have become distant, and I find myself alone now. My career takes up most of my time, and I don't have opportunities to meet new people. These are things I need to address. I find it difficult to trust or open up with anyone already, and this just makes it worse. Still, you guys are right. I need to be proactive and do things to make my life better. Pain or no pain.. Suffering.. Whatever. I'll get through this.
kizik Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Sorry for my drunken post last night. It wasn't bad, but it was drunk and I shouldn't have disrespected you like that. I don't have opportunities to meet new people. Me neither. I'm going out as much as possible, but I'm always the new guy in the group where everyone already knows each other. Has known each other for years. So I go out and am scanning for chicks and they're all married or have BFs. No one pays me too much attention but I try to talk and engage. It feels false and I end up back at home, square one. I just want some goddamn friends. Why do you guys think I'm on LS so much? Because my life is sad right now and y'all don't judge me. I'm going to try to get involved in clubs for people in their 20s, but it's hard to know how to go about that. Come fall when I move downtown, things will improve. The move will be exciting, I'll be at a new school, and in the best city in the state. Rep, focus on your career, man. Try to be more outgoing and ask people to hang after work. No one is going to fight this battle for us. We have to really try to make new friends. I completely understand how you feel. It's so tough. But life is this way. It's unfair and random and makes no sense. But good things happen when we stay busy.
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