White Flower Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I would like to hear from both sides about this angle. I have some girl friends who, all they do, is talk about the latest porn flick they watched during sex with the guy du jour. One of my friends has a nice bed in her bedroom, but no VCR or DVD player in it. She and her guy will make up the sleeper sofa so they can watch porn together in the livingroom! I can take it or leave it, but I prefer the soft porn like Red Shoe Diaries because it is visually pleasing and they usually are story-based, even if hokey. And women don't need to see the parts; we only want to see the general nakedness and imagine the rest. The following is something I have a hard time understanding: It takes me about 5 minutes to rip off 4 or 5 quick orgasms, and then I'm done. Back to life. I will have one orgasm in 5 minutes, but it will be very long and drawn out. Are you saying that you have 5 separate orgasms, or they are connected as one?
Lookingforward Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I would like to hear from both sides about this angle. I have some girl friends who, all they do, is talk about the latest porn flick they watched during sex with the guy du jour. One of my friends has a nice bed in her bedroom, but no VCR or DVD player in it. She and her guy will make up the sleeper sofa so they can watch porn together in the livingroom! I can take it or leave it, but I prefer the soft porn like Red Shoe Diaries because it is visually pleasing and they usually are story-based, even if hokey. And women don't need to see the parts; we only want to see the general nakedness and imagine the rest. The following is something I have a hard time understanding: It takes me about 5 minutes to rip off 4 or 5 quick orgasms, and then I'm done. Back to life. I will have one orgasm in 5 minutes, but it will be very long and drawn out. Are you saying that you have 5 separate orgasms, or they are connected as one? and one of the Red shoe diaries had david duchovny (sp?) back when he was yummy
angie2443 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 What I'd like to know (because I really have no idea) - and I hope I can trust that any male responses to this will be unabashedly and completely honest and objective - is how would men really feel about their wives/gfs looking at other men (not gonna include looking at women in this hypothetical) in porn and masturbating to it on a rather regular and routine basis? I'm not a man, but I can tell you that my husband doesn't like it when I check out a guy for more than a couple of seconds. It's ok if we are both walking down the street, a cute guy walks by, and I take a quick glance. Anything more than that, and my husband gets irratated.
Author luvstarved Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 I would like to hear from both sides about this angle. I have some girl friends who, all they do, is talk about the latest porn flick they watched during sex with the guy du jour. One of my friends has a nice bed in her bedroom, but no VCR or DVD player in it. She and her guy will make up the sleeper sofa so they can watch porn together in the livingroom! I can take it or leave it, but I prefer the soft porn like Red Shoe Diaries because it is visually pleasing and they usually are story-based, even if hokey. And women don't need to see the parts; we only want to see the general nakedness and imagine the rest. The following is something I have a hard time understanding: It takes me about 5 minutes to rip off 4 or 5 quick orgasms, and then I'm done. Back to life. I will have one orgasm in 5 minutes, but it will be very long and drawn out. Are you saying that you have 5 separate orgasms, or they are connected as one? Oh heck I don't know. As women are referred to as multiply orgasmic, I assumed they meant "right in a row" otherwise where is the multiply part? But, you can call them dips and crescendos of the same one and it feels the same to me: very very nice.
Mr. Lucky Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I agree more or less. I say my H is SSDD and I am SDDS in our fantasies, his being "Same stuff, different doll" and mine "Same Doll, Different Stuff". I like that! In one set of acronyms, you just put to rest 4 different porn threads and the need to go on about them. You should get t-shirts made ... Mr. Lucky
tanbark813 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 You sound like one lucky man, Tanbark;) I'm certainly not complaining.
Hyperpen12000 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 The original post never did go in the intended direction but oh well. I deal with logic in my work all day every day and so I do like to see logical arguments being presented and enjoyed the one about the give/receive side of porn. I would not argue the point much because I do see the logical argument SSU presented, but I don't think it is entirely solid. There are other factors that were disregarded that I think are pertinent - Looking is private. Showing is public. - Looking is for getting personal sexual release. Showing is for extracting that from others. - The notion that women get an equivalent sexual charge out of it sounds bogus to me. They might feel naughty and titillated, but I doubt that many masturbate thinking of it briefly then go about their day. - I doubt that women would get addicted to this sort of behavior and find other sexual outlets unappealing by comparison - In fact, I suspect that the primary charge that would be obtained by women on this would be the sense of power getting men all over the world excited at the sight of them. A secondary charge might be to directly counter the porn use, and justify by claiming it is equivalent as a flip side of a scenario. I do not believe that women get genuine sexual satisfaction out of revenge-against-porn displays of themselves, or simply knowing that they are causing others to come by looking at them. I think a more valid cleft between the male and female sexual outlets that don't include each other revolve around fantasy. Everyone masturbates, and everyone has fantasies to facilitate it. I think what men need to facilitate masturbation is different in some ways than for women. I think there is also a difference in degrees. That is to say, it is much more likely for a man to get obsessed with porn than for women. I would like to hear from both sides about this angle. As a woman, when I fantasize it tends to be about situations and not so much people. Of course, there are other people involved but they are generic...I don't fantasize about the specific person I saw online, nor about the cute neighbor down the street, or even an image of a hot guy I saw at the mall. I don't masturbate that often, but when I do, it is a pointed activity, not a protracted daydream about romance. I think strictly about sexual activities, some of which I would want to do in real life, but many others that I would never dream of doing and know that I would not actually enjoy them in real life. It takes me about 5 minutes to rip off 4 or 5 quick orgasms, and then I'm done. Back to life. I only speak for myself as a woman and have no idea what other women do because I have talked with them about it less than I have with guys. But most guys have told me that it is virtually a reflex with them. They see hot goings on and they jerk off to them. Then they too are done. The things I don't understand about the male version (according to what I have heard which is by no means comprehensive) are the idea that these thoughts linger in their minds as they go about their day. That seems counterintuitive to the popular notion that woman have elaborate ongoing daydreams about Prince Charming in their fantasy life, when in my experience it seems like men more often have these reminiscing thoughts routinely rolling around in their minds. The other thing I don't understand, somewhat related, is why some men can watch porn for hours. I suppose this is what would be considered the entertainment value, but porn has no entertainment value for me. OK once I went to a porn drive-in theatre and we turned down the speakers and provided our own dialogue and that was entertaining. But, when I look at porn on very rare occasions (3x a year maybe?) it is only for about 5 minutes and honestly if I don't get off in that 5 minutes, the visual stimulation starts to bore me and I've lost the opportunity...I am not denying the appeal of long term viewing, I simply don't understand it. Oh one last one, I don't think it occurs in many women's masturbating minds that they would REALLY like to f**k a specific person, whereas I think guys do and sometimes get standoffish or resentful at their SO because they can't...even though they intellectually understand why. Anyway, I think that the only thing you can compare is fantasy to fantasy. And when you do that, the only real difference that seems clear to me is that men are best served by visual images and I think this is more of a mental picture for women. In the end, you are using a fantasy in order to achieve an orgasm, whether it be online, a racy section of a novel, or your own sweet little imagination. I don't see why the source of the fantasy should be such a sticking point. In most cases for either sex, the source is not their SO so what's the diff? The sticking point for me again is disrespecting and depriving your SO by withdrawing too much into the fantasy world at the expense of a healthy adult sexual relationship. Women are simply not that inclined to do this. I truly don't want to have sex with anyone except my husband. I only think of faceless type scenarios, or him, when I masturbate. Part of it might have to do with my wild past and becoming jaded as a result (been there, f**ked that) but I think more comes from not caring anymore about "newness", etc. I am way more into trying to up the intimacy at home. So when men see attractive coworkers, strangers on the street, porn stars online, etc and use them for "inspiration", that seems more personal to me. And does cause insecure feelings I admit. BUT I have also been told by most men that they do not think of these people as anything but sexual helpmates, and never daydream about leaving the wife for the skank (except when actual affairs happen, but that's another topic)...these "people" serve a purpose - offer visual stimulation conducive to busting a nut without incorporating pain in the ass emotional stuff or expectation of reciprocity. Well said! A lot of women have had a bad experience with their SO and porn. Now they think that every man views porn the way their SO or ex SO does which is only an assumption. Some guys I've talk to say that porn doesn't give them that visual stimulation to masturbate. They rather close their eyes and think of an erotic scenario.
angie2443 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 If I wanted and was getting sex 4-5 times per week, I wouldn't care if she had a lifesize and anatomically correct Justin Timberlake statue next to the bed. And I think that's part of how many man and women see this differently. Men see their partner watching porn and think "She's really wishing she could do that with me". Women see their partner watching porn and think "He's really wishing he could do that with her". In your example, I'd see myself as the beneficiary of all that sexual energy... Mr. Lucky If your wife kept a life size and an anatomically correct Justin Timberlake (or whatever celebrity your wife likes) statue by the bed, she would be fantisizing about Timberlake, not you. I'm not saying this because I think Timberlake's hot, but if a woman kept a statue of a particular man she was attracted to or a picture of that particular man by the bed, she'd be fantasizing about him. I would also think she was a bit disturbed but that's just my opinion. The porn comment was interesting, though. I think most men in porn look creepy or gross. Maybe I have just seen really bad porn. Most of the women look good, of course. A friend of mine explained they use ugly or very average looking men in porn so that the men watching think, "if this guy can get the hot girl, so can I". I don't know, but I do guess that this would make men feel less intimidated if their wifes or girlfriends were watching port. After all, if the guys don't look good, how can the men feel threatened. On the other hand, most women in porn are young and look very good. When a guy sees the perfect looking 18 year old (often with the cosmetic surgery and body cover up)and with the flawless body, how can he not compare that to his average looking wife or girlfriend. I assume this is how a lot of women view this.
Mustang Sally Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 If she did use porn while she were masturbating I don't think it would bother me. I think I would just get more turned on. As long as I'm not being denied sex, I think we'd be good to go. Thanks, Tanbark. This is the point I was wondering about. It seems to me that porn just has a different type of significance to (most) men than it does to (most?) women. It's like two people trying to communicate using different languages. Very hard to really understand where the other one is coming from when you don't take their "language" into consideration when interpreting what they are saying/feeling. I think (some? many?) women need to stop assuming their men react to, respond to, and value porn in the same way that they do. Likewise, men need to try to understand and be mindful of their woman's feelings about porn, if it is an issue for them. Maybe a little more communication and sensitivity can allay some (unfounded?) fears. More understanding and empathy, all around, I say! <Thus endeth Master of the Obvious statements of the day>
The Collector Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 A friend of mine explained they use ugly or very average looking men in porn so that the men watching think, "if this guy can get the hot girl, so can I". I don't know, but I do guess that this would make men feel less intimidated if their wifes or girlfriends were watching port. After all, if the guys don't look good, how can the men feel threatened. If this was true, why do they invariably employ men with huge peckers? That's most men's biggest insecurity.
angie2443 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 If this was true, why do they invariably employ men with huge peckers? That's most men's biggest insecurity. I think this is a dominance issue. I think that men see this as a way to dominate women and enjoy watching it on screen. Most women I know don't like huge peckers. A decent sized one, yes, but huge, no. I think that can actually get intimidating. Think pain.
tanbark813 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Some of you women are reading WAY too much into what porn means to men or what we think when we watch it. We mainly just want to see some boobies floppin' around.
blair08 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Some of you women are reading WAY too much into what porn means to men or what we think when we watch it. We mainly just want to see some boobies floppin' around. You mean, different boobies floppin around, than what you see at home from your spouse or partner.
tanbark813 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 You mean, different boobies floppin around, than what you see at home from your spouse or partner. You can never see too many boobies. ( o Y o )
sb129 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I don't know if I have mentioned this yet, but this thread seems to be THE most appropriate one to drop it on. I had my hen (bachelorette) party on Saturday night. (Way too much champagne, too many cocktails) and my fiance had his stag (bachelor) party the same night. We girls went to a burlesque club, and the guys went to a dog racing track. Guess who saw TEN pairs of tits, and guess who saw NONE? (Hint- they weren't attached to the dogs, and they had tassels on them.....) People really need to chill. There is a voyeur in all of us.
Mr. Lucky Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 If your wife kept a life size and an anatomically correct Justin Timberlake (or whatever celebrity your wife likes) statue by the bed, she would be fantisizing about Timberlake, not you. I'm not saying this because I think Timberlake's hot, but if a woman kept a statue of a particular man she was attracted to or a picture of that particular man by the bed, she'd be fantasizing about him. Since I occasionally fantasize about other partners (like all men and probably all women too), it would be hypocritical for me to be concerned about her doing the same. A healthy imagination is a great sexual asset !!! Mr. Lucky
angie2443 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Since I occasionally fantasize about other partners (like all men and probably all women too), it would be hypocritical for me to be concerned about her doing the same. A healthy imagination is a great sexual asset !!! Mr. Lucky A healthy imagination, yes, but you were talking about a statue (blow up doll?).
The Collector Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Most women I know don't like huge peckers. A decent sized one, yes, but huge, no. Any ladies care to comment?
hummingbird Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Any ladies care to comment? certainly! my guy is huge and is hot and gooood looking.... I love him and I love how he feels. an unattractive guy in porn with a huge pecker is a no brainer -NOT attractive or even remotely desirable (jmo) my quess is most guys know this and don't even focus on the guy... if he is good looking, generally he is still of NO interest because its just a guy with a big dick acting out some pathetic porn
SunnySideUp Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Aaah... don't stop. I was really enjoying reading your posts. aww, thanks :-) I'll send you the link to the article when I complete it...
trubella Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Any ladies care to comment? well there nice to look at but not something id want personally, my guy is 8. perfect size to me i think. not small and not huge either.. right there in the middle. alot of my gfs agree that they wouldnt want a huge one either, not very pleasant.
angie2443 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Any ladies care to comment? I should have been more clear. When I say huge, I mean scary huge. Larger than average isn't scary. I was thinking of a particular porn who was famous for his size and not attractive at all. Why anyone would be attracted to something like that is beyond me.
Author luvstarved Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Some of you women are reading WAY too much into what porn means to men or what we think when we watch it. We mainly just want to see some boobies floppin' around. Gosh, are you claiming that the porn industry has no marketing/market research, or just that having it is a waste of time?
soserious1 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Any ladies care to comment? Length isn't a factor, girth is
Recommended Posts