luvstarved Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 I saw in the other porn thread a lot of hurt and low self-esteem from the ladies...so thought i would try to offer some fun snide retorts to porn use...lighten up guys, I'm just playing... "What do you mean, you wish I was more like the internet porn stars? Do you mean, unwilling to f**k YOU in a million years?" (when he actually wants to have sex with you) "I'd feel a lot better about this if I could be airbrushed and get implants first" OR "Could you describe the girl you're pretending to f**k so we can be on the same page here?" "I read the other day that masturbating to porn is considered by some to be a homosexual activity" "You know, I'd like some 'harmless fun' too. Think I'll make a blow job video and post it on the internet. Only problem is, I'd need to find a guy with a big d**k...know anybody?" "I think our daughter should skip college and pursue a career in porn. She'd make good money, and think of all the pleasure she would give to so many! Plus, she could retire early!" "Just curious...when you are viewing porn, do you ever imagine the part where the girls leave the room to throw up, do a few more shots of Jack,and check themselves for a flareup of genital warts?" "I wonder if her daddy taught her the value of sex" "Gee, I wish I thought your c**k was magnificent!" "It's a shame that so many guys are forced to settle for women who are actually willing to touch them" "Can you explain again the part where having to pretend that a hot person wants you makes you feel good?" "You understand the power dynamic here, right?" "I would be happy to do that to you if you looked like that guy" "Hmmm...okay so I am narrow-minded and unenlightened because I don't comprehend the evolutionary quantum leap that your behavior demonstrates??" Oh I could go on all night...but help me out here ladies...
Author luvstarved Posted June 28, 2008 Author Posted June 28, 2008 Just one more I forgot... "I wish I had a more legitimate reason for you to get this under control other than the fact that it rips my heart out"
soserious1 Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 I have enough hurt to last me 3 lifetimes, I just want the hurt to stop, and trying to wound him back in the same way he's wounded me does nothing but cause more hurt,not something that appeals to me at all.
Lookingforward Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 I have enough hurt to last me 3 lifetimes, I just want the hurt to stop, and trying to wound him back in the same way he's wounded me does nothing but cause more hurt,not something that appeals to me at all. If you have been that badly hurt, there are more issues than 'just' his looking at porn, am I right ? fwiw - I wouldn't even lower myself to use the "snappy comebacks" posted above - I have a little more self respect than those imply
soserious1 Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 If you have been that badly hurt, there are more issues than 'just' his looking at porn, am I right ? fwiw - I wouldn't even lower myself to use the "snappy comebacks" posted above - I have a little more self respect than those imply Of course there are more issues than just porn. However if you're sitting around thinking of snide comebacks in response to a porn user,that's there's plenty of damage already ongoing in your relationship whether you actually speak those snide lines or not.
Lookingforward Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Of course there are more issues than just porn. However if you're sitting around thinking of snide comebacks in response to a porn user,that's there's plenty of damage already ongoing in your relationship whether you actually speak those snide lines or not. well as I said, I wouldn't even be thinking them much less saying them - so are you saying luvstarved has some issues in her R ? I personally think porn is only an issue if it supercedes actual sexual relations with your SO
soserious1 Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 well as I said, I wouldn't even be thinking them much less saying them - so are you saying luvstarved has some issues in her R ? I personally think porn is only an issue if it supercedes actual sexual relations with your SO What I'm saying is that if you're sitting around thinking up, sarcastic,snide remarks that would undoubtedly incite a fight with your partner if you dared to say them, that you've got a lot of resentment and anger churning around.
Trialbyfire Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Haha..luv, irony applied to double-standards can be pretty funny! Breast enlargements and assorted surgery response: "You know, you would look and feel amazing, if you got a penis-enlargement! Seriously!" Madonna/whore complex response: "I want a man who looks like Beckham and performs like a porn star in bed."
Mr. Lucky Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 "I want a man who looks like Beckham and performs like a porn star in bed." You ladies are obviously unaware of the unrealistic limits of the male ego as we already assume that your description matches us . A man watches porn and says to himself "Yeah, I could do that". A woman watches porn and says "I'll bet he wishes I could do that". Two pretty different things... Mr. Lucky
carhill Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 I'd take John Holmes up the ass, but Ron Jeremy, no way! Seriously, in 11 years of the newsgroups, the amateur vids, especially from the UK and the FSU, are the best. No porn stars, just a lot of pencil dick guys and less than perfect women gettin' it on. Love the lingerie I have no illusions regarding porn. It is what it is. Once in awhile, the camera comes home
Trialbyfire Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 You ladies are obviously unaware of the unrealistic limits of the male ego as we already assume that your description matches us . A man watches porn and says to himself "Yeah, I could do that". A woman watches porn and says "I'll bet he wishes I could do that". Two pretty different things... Mr. Lucky So true about the male ego!! Personally, I find porn funny. It's so fake and the music cracks me up even worse.
Mr. Lucky Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Seriously, in 11 years of the newsgroups, the amateur vids, especially from the UK and the FSU, are the best. Since I don't think you meant Florida State University, what is FSU ? Mr. Lucky
carhill Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 FSU= Former Soviet Union The cougar stuff from there is especially good....
tanbark813 Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Threads like this make me glad my gf isn't a bitter prude.
Author luvstarved Posted June 28, 2008 Author Posted June 28, 2008 No I actually would not say these things to my H, but I guess I was trying in an admittedly irreverent way to make fun of men's fascination with porn, with maybe a gentle sideways reminder to ladies that it is a fantasy after all. First, these women do not actually live for sex and are not actually telling your H he is a stud and are not actually having the time of their lives. With some glamorous exceptions, they are by and large doing it for the money, have something in their background that taught them that their value was based on sex appeal, and actually dislike it beyond whatever power trip it gives them. I definitely have this type of issue in my marriage, although not with porn, my H looked infrequently during 7 years of sexless M, but not any more...but what is the difference, really, because now it is just fantasy about people he encounters in real life. Whatever. I could have written some of soserious1's posts myself, with the difference that I am not going to just let it go and absorb all the hurt myself. It is unacceptable to me because it interferes with my M. My H is having regular sex with me now and seems to have come back around to the point of being enthused about it. That only happened because I said I would rather get a divorce than continue in a sexless M. But, sex is still all the same, all the time, blow job followed by quickie intercourse, and he doesn't like to talk about it. Too bad. I have issues with jealousy because of this and he is all too eager to talk about that!!! In our last counseling session I said I wanted to talk about my jealousy and where it comes from and at first counselor said oh you want to make him responsible for your feelings of insecurity? I said NO I do not want to do that. I want to understand his behavior and comments over the last umpteen years that lead me to believe that his sexual energy is focused elsewhere, and find a way to refocus that energy back to me if possible. He keeps saying and doing things that are contradictory and unfavorable to me and I want the truth of where I stand. I am TIRED of my inability to feel secure ABOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP being characterized as general low self-esteem on my part. I know I am a valuable and attractive woman. I have no fears about being on my own nor of finding another man to be with should I choose. My insecurity is only about THIS RELATIONSHIP. And is not about whether I am good enough, but rather whether my H values me enough. Nevertheless I am trying to keep a sense of humor about it and sorry if it did not come across that way.
Author luvstarved Posted June 28, 2008 Author Posted June 28, 2008 Threads like this make me glad my gf isn't a bitter prude. er..I am hardly a prude, my H is the one who wants it the same all the time...and my ex-lovers number in triple digits, including a few females, and several of whom said they thought I was the "perfect lover" (I even got a Xmas card one year that said "Thanks for the fantastic sex" LOL) I would not be surprised if intimidation were not a factor in this for my H. As for bitter? Maybe. I am a confused woman who is doing everything in her power to fix this in her M...but wanting to stop short of wasting my time in a M where I will never get what I want. I understand sexual boredom. I understand how external pressures can affect the love life. I just don't agree that withdrawing is the solution. I wonder how you would characterize yourself if your gf avoided sex with you for 7 years, while telling you she wanted you but there was no time, meanwhile indulging herself with porn and masturbation constantly, and when you tried to talk about it, called you shallow and said you were creating problems where none existed? Then, when you said, I don't want to change you, but this is not what I want so we should probably split, did everything in her power to keep you around? Wouldn't you MAYBE just wonder...what for? My H is free to do and have whatever he wants, but not at my emotional expense. I don't want to force him to do anything, but I don't want to be used or have my time wasted either. Simple as that. My H is working on this and I appreciate him for it, but I just don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me, or doesn't have the chops to learn how to rekindle passion. Indeed, life is too short.
tanbark813 Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Well then it sounds like there are bigger problems in your marriage than porn. I wonder how you would characterize yourself if your gf avoided sex with you for 7 years, while telling you she wanted you but there was no time, meanwhile indulging herself with porn and masturbation constantly, and when you tried to talk about it, called you shallow and said you were creating problems where none existed? I wouldn't stick around long enough for there to be 7 years of no sex. I would have left long before that.
Author luvstarved Posted June 28, 2008 Author Posted June 28, 2008 Well then it sounds like there are bigger problems in your marriage than porn. I wouldn't stick around long enough for there to be 7 years of no sex. I would have left long before that. Oh you are right porn is not a big issue...and you are also right I wish in retrospect that I had not let it go on so long, I think 4 years worth of antidepressants stalled things a bit! That was a mistake...I won't be here much longer if things do not change and I am in the process of trying to figure out whether they can...but I am also not one to bail on a difficulty until I have determined beyond all doubt that a solution is not possible. I married my H because I love him and have not yet determined whether he loves me and just doesn't know how to communicate or if he is really just a selfish guy who is using me as a caretaker. Of course I should know after 12 years and am vexated that I don't...but I can't rewind and carry on from where I've been, I can only proceed from right here.
Jersey Shortie Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 "What do you mean, you wish I was more like the internet porn stars? Do you mean, unwilling to f**k YOU in a million years?" (when he actually wants to have sex with you) "I'd feel a lot better about this if I could be airbrushed and get implants first" "Could you describe the girl you're pretending to f**k so we can be on the same page here?" "I think our daughter should skip college and pursue a career in porn. She'd make good money, and think of all the pleasure she would give to so many! Plus, she could retire early!" "Just curious...when you are viewing porn, do you ever imagine the part where the girls leave the room to throw up, do a few more shots of Jack,and check themselves for a flareup of genital warts?" (I actually think that is a reality that men don't want to think about) "I wonder if her daddy taught her the value of sex" Wasn't it Jenna Jamison that said her father would have sex with her friends? Freaking disgusting. "It's a shame that so many guys are forced to settle for women who are actually willing to touch them" Good one. "Can you explain again the part where having to pretend that a hot person wants you makes you feel good?" Good one. "Hmmm...okay so I am narrow-minded and unenlightened because I don't comprehend the evolutionary quantum leap that your behavior demonstrates??" Really good one. I don't know but the defintion of men today seems to be : beer, porn and burping. And men seem okay with this stereotype...even somewhat proud of it which baffles me. Tanback..just because a woman doesn't like porn doesn't mean she is a prude.. anymore then a man who likes porn must mean he is addicted to it.
johan Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 I personally think that porn erodes the soul of the viewer. Sorry, that wasn't very snide.
Lookingforward Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 What I'm saying is that if you're sitting around thinking up, sarcastic,snide remarks that would undoubtedly incite a fight with your partner if you dared to say them, that you've got a lot of resentment and anger churning around. ..................
Lookingforward Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 No I actually would not say these things to my H, but I guess I was trying in an admittedly irreverent way to make fun of men's fascination with porn, with maybe a gentle sideways reminder to ladies that it is a fantasy after all. First, these women do not actually live for sex and are not actually telling your H he is a stud and are not actually having the time of their lives. With some glamorous exceptions, they are by and large doing it for the money, have something in their background that taught them that their value was based on sex appeal, and actually dislike it beyond whatever power trip it gives them. I definitely have this type of issue in my marriage, although not with porn, my H looked infrequently during 7 years of sexless M, but not any more...but what is the difference, really, because now it is just fantasy about people he encounters in real life. Whatever. I could have written some of soserious1's posts myself, with the difference that I am not going to just let it go and absorb all the hurt myself. It is unacceptable to me because it interferes with my M. My H is having regular sex with me now and seems to have come back around to the point of being enthused about it. That only happened because I said I would rather get a divorce than continue in a sexless M. But, sex is still all the same, all the time, blow job followed by quickie intercourse, and he doesn't like to talk about it. Too bad. I have issues with jealousy because of this and he is all too eager to talk about that!!! In our last counseling session I said I wanted to talk about my jealousy and where it comes from and at first counselor said oh you want to make him responsible for your feelings of insecurity? I said NO I do not want to do that. I want to understand his behavior and comments over the last umpteen years that lead me to believe that his sexual energy is focused elsewhere, and find a way to refocus that energy back to me if possible. He keeps saying and doing things that are contradictory and unfavorable to me and I want the truth of where I stand. I am TIRED of my inability to feel secure ABOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP being characterized as general low self-esteem on my part. I know I am a valuable and attractive woman. I have no fears about being on my own nor of finding another man to be with should I choose. My insecurity is only about THIS RELATIONSHIP. And is not about whether I am good enough, but rather whether my H values me enough. Nevertheless I am trying to keep a sense of humor about it and sorry if it did not come across that way. Sounds like you could use a new counsellor
Lookingforward Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 I wouldn't stick around long enough for there to be 7 years of no sex. I would have left long before that. ditto in spades..........
Trialbyfire Posted June 29, 2008 Posted June 29, 2008 luv, I also agree you need a new MC. As well, IC would be beneficial.
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