johnnienaked Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 K, just a few thoughts. I don't know why but I have always had issues with my looks, and recently because of my breakup my self confidence and self-esteem went way down. Now, I shouldn't have issues because I have dated some amazing women. I dated a model for three years for cryin out loud. Yet I do. I was teased unbearably in junior/high school (mostly about being thin) and I think naturally tthat low self-image translated to my facial looks. I have a very oblong face, it is quite symmetrical and I get constant c omments about being 'cute.' But anyway, I constantly compare myself to other dudes, and sometimes I feel as if my face is grotesquely long. I know most women favor a square facial cut, and I dont have it. Yet Ive been approached once or twice (by men however) saying I should model because I look so unique. Regardless, I have nice green eyes and blonde hair and I think I am slightly above average on a good day, but some days I have a baaaaad self-image, and the breakup worsened it. So other days I feel like I am damn ugly, and a total outcast. It's weird, I can go out one night and this girl asked if she could kiss me cause she thought I was 'pretty' (yes of course I did, multiple times) and then another night I will attempt talking to a girl and she will (nasty) stick out her tongue and give me the thumbs down (literally). On top of this, my only game is playing guitar, and you get me in a room full of girls while I am playing and they will ALL be interested. But try talking to one on one and trying to initiate attraction (how, exactly?) and Im pretty hopeless. Yet when it's me and a couple buddies and a couple girls it seems like I have to get super lucky to not get picked last. Also though, there have been times in my life where I have been so confident I was stealing girlfriends and others where I consider myself hideous. Is it enough to just tell myself i'm superhawt and just dismiss people who don't think so as idiots? XD Also, keep on workin oout and fix the things I dont like about myself? I am 26 and feel like Ive missed out on all the promiscuousness of being young cause whenever I have a one-night stand it turns into a 1-year stand, and then it takes months and months to get back on my confidence horse. I would love to be a ladies man (and don't tell me you have to have modoel looks to do this cause I have seen hideous creatures date nothing but bombshells) if only for the confidence kick in doing something I have never been able to. Also, to get over my ex and back to where I was at. Thoughts?
Calisto Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 I think it is kind of sickening how focused on physical appearance lots of people are on here. It's not like you can control your face unless you have plastic surgery.
Author johnnienaked Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 k srsly buddy. Some people have low self-esteem and need some help. If you were teased throughout your entire teenage years about being thin you'd probably wonder how you could turn your mental life around too. I forgot to mention Also, I am qute skinny too, and I know most women prefer larger men. I am 170 lbs and 6'4". Really tall so I have that covered but I'm skinny ass. i get at least one comment a day saying how skinny I am. Yes, I am going to the gym and plan on being 210 in 18 months-2 years. 1. I think this will really really help. I cannot imagine getting as little attention as I do now if I was 210, 6'4", and ripped.
ianandris Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Well, I'm 25, and I'm just barely out of a 2 month relationship. Only the third relationship I've been in, and the first one that wasn't an LDR. All of my relationships have lasted less than 4 months. (I would love for a one night stand to turn into a one year stand.) Never had a girl ask me if she could kiss me cause she thought I was 'pretty'. Hell, never even had a one night stand, now that I think about it. But I know I'm attractive. I'm funny, smart, kind, know how to talk to people, even if I'm a little rough around the edges (not the most outgoing person in the world. Can come across as a little brisk or austere). If I were to rely on my past experiences with girls for validation of my personal self worth, I'd have given up a long long time ago. But I can't afford to do that. I've got to live with myself the rest of my life, you know? Might as well appreciate who I am, right? There's no accounting for taste, bro, so just be who you are and own it. When you own it, girls see it and are drawn to it. Work on being secure, being completely comfortable with yourself, making sure you're doing what you can to make yourself look good (being a complete slob won't help self esteem, unless you think slobs are fecking hot.), and accept that you are who you are. Keep your eye on that critical inner voice. Don't let it say anything to you that you wouldn't say to someone else in polite company. Everyone has days they don't feel one hundered percent, and it's always worse after a break up, especially if you've been dumped.
Nevermind Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Mh, I know how you feel. Teasing in high school is so terrible! (I was greated every single morning with : Hello, you look like ****.") You shouldn't focus so much on looks, but feel good within yourself. Reading your post, I feel that you actually know you're not ugly, but attractive. It's just the depressed state of mind that's telling you otherwise. Btw: Also though, there have been times in my life where I have been so confident I was stealing girlfriends and others where I consider myself hideous. If you did that, your problems might not be related to your outer beauty.
carhill Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 OP, you can't be all things to all women. Very few men are universally attractive. Just be yourself and the *right* woman will come your way. We all have issues from childhood, even those of us who had it *easy*. You're not alone. Work on that inner part, the part that would *steal girlfriends* and find a girl who shares herself with you willingly and gladly. When you get to be my age, you'll understand the true value and beauty of that simple reality. You're now getting to an age where women are more interested in substance and less in superficiality. Remember that going forward. Good looks are cool, but you have no control over that part (other than lookng your best). You have a ton of control over your personality and what moves you in life. Develop that. Good things will come
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