jdavis81 Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 I've been with my "boyfriend" for about three weeks ... We've known each other for six years, he was a roommate with me and my now ex-husband five years ago (lived with us for one year), and we hadn't seen each other since he moved out five years ago. Well about a month ago we ran into each other and have been involved ever since. At first he was really into me and I knew it, and I was into him too. But shortly after he asked me to officially be his "girlfriend" things went downhill. I've been chopping it up to us both being busy with life, and stressed due to our exes, but tonight on MySpace he changed his "here for" from Friends to Dating & Friends, plus he never did changed his status from Single to In A Relationship. We've talked about the MySpace thing before (because he gets comments from chicks that I don't appreciate), and he says "It's just MySpace. Don't take it so seriously" But I take saying that you're there for Dating, when I'm supposed to be your girlfriend, as a serious slap in the face! I called him after I saw that and he didn't answer his phone. Oh yeah, and his mood is set to Naughty. I feel like we're in high school, and I don't like it. I'm 27, a mother of three, and I don't like this immature crap. So, my question is, am I overreacting like we're in high school? Or am I validated in being upset about his actions? I'm new to this dating/relationship thing since I was with my Ex for almost nine years and my divorce was just final in April. Please help
Lauriebell82 Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Some would disagree, but I think the whole myspace/facebook thing is important for you to say if you are in a relationship. That just shows that you aren't out there looking anymore and that you have declared that you are together for everyone to see. Before you go accusing him of anything I think you need to find out if he really does think of you as "in a relationship." If he says that he does, then I would ask him about why he didn't change his profile yet. Not in an accusatory or immature way, just a question like "hey babe, I was just wondering that since you asked me to be your gf you haven't changed your profile status on myspace." Then see what he says. Oh by the way: did you change YOUR myspace status?
Jilly Bean Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 I think you are acting like you are in high school, to be frank. "Boyfriend" after three weeks? Humping him about your relationship status? It's more like junior high, really... IMO, you're both moving WAY too fast. He asks you to be his "gf", then turns around and acts the complete opposite. Just sounds like a lot of games to me.
Author jdavis81 Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 Yeah we're moving kind of fast, and it actually makes me very nervous and scared, which causes me to feel insecure and act stupid. He called last night and we talked about the MySpace thing and he still maintains that it's just MySpace and that I shouldn't take it so seriously because he doesn't take it seriously. So I'm going to try to chill about it ... Thanks for your opinions and advice
Jilly Bean Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Well, now that he knows the MS thing bothers you, he will use it as a source of control, as he has already. Just because he blows it off, doesn't mean he should be invalidating your feelings on it in the process. IMO, you're only three weeks into this. What is so redeeming about this guy? I see a LOT of red flags, hon. If a guy asks you to be his GF after three weeks of dating, and then refuses to publicly acknowledge it, I think you're buying yourself a heap of problems down the road. Seems like he wants the label of GF when it's convenient, otherwise he'll take none of the responsibility.
Author jdavis81 Posted June 28, 2008 Author Posted June 28, 2008 Wow you hit the nail on the head there Jilly ... you said exactly what two of my closest friends have said about the situation. I'm thinking you all are right. He was a great guy back in the day, and I think that's what I'm holding on to ... the idea of who I know he can be. But he may be too tainted by what's happened to him in the last five years to give me the man I'm wanting ... Looks like we'll be having "the talk" soon, but not today because it's his birthday. Oh by the way, haven't heard from him at all today even though I texted him to tell him Happy Birthday, and then texted him again a few hours later to let him know I left his bday present on his porch (we live out in the country). I'm not really sure what's going on, but I know I'm not happy. Thanks again for the advice. Good to get a non-biased opinion
Recommended Posts