ate_the_paint Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Tomorrow she's coming by to sort out the utilities, etc. It's been over 2 months now and I just started answering her calls after 35 days NC (I haven't called her once). The reason I had to pick up is because there's a lot of financial stuff to take care of and I need to get her to put her stuff in storage. After I picked up the first time she started calling every day. I've only picked up twice since then, and only to discuss her coming by although she wanted to discuss things like how bad her day was going, etc. I kept the conversations short. It's going to be awkward. I've decided that I'm not going to say much. She can talk all she likes; I have nothing to explain and I don't want her to see how badly I'm hurting. If she starts saying things that hurt I'm going to ask her to leave and we'll continue the business discussion at a later date. Still, I cleaned the house from top to bottom. Old habits die hard. Man, this is going to be tough. The last time I saw her we were both crying and she was leaving and I've spent two months with a broken heart and nothing but her on my mind. In that time I've started counselling and found LS, and have started to live life again without her. Now she's coming by because we have to get this stuff sorted out. What does it mean when the person I was sooo comfortable with three months ago now terrifies me? This was the person I loved with everything I had, and she knows ALL my secrets. I still love her despite what she did to me! I really miss her. I mean I've been thinking of her for two months and living with pain in my chest, but now I'd just rather live with the pain then actually see her again! Totally f***ed up.
foxh1234 Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 If there was any way to take care of your business without seeing her, that's what I would do if I were you. It is going to hurt like hell and set you back big time. Think about it and figure out a way not to have to see her. Just my opinion though, good luck man.
carhill Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 I guess "utilities" are different up in BC. Here in Cali, I just sign my life away each month to the power company. If my wife left tomorrow, there'd be no reason for her to come back for any business or even her stuff. I'd just call the mover and have it delivered to her. I pay all the house stuff anyway. Guess you were more invested in "together" even though you weren't married. Anyway, I'd avoid any sort of business if you want to maintain your neutral perspective. She dumped you. Money you can replace. Your dignity and sanity have higher value
northstar1 Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Tomorrow she's coming by to sort out the utilities, etc. It's been over 2 months now and I just started answering her calls after 35 days NC (I haven't called her once). The reason I had to pick up is because there's a lot of financial stuff to take care of and I need to get her to put her stuff in storage. After I picked up the first time she started calling every day. I've only picked up twice since then, and only to discuss her coming by although she wanted to discuss things like how bad her day was going, etc. I kept the conversations short. It's going to be awkward. I've decided that I'm not going to say much. She can talk all she likes; I have nothing to explain and I don't want her to see how badly I'm hurting. If she starts saying things that hurt I'm going to ask her to leave and we'll continue the business discussion at a later date. Still, I cleaned the house from top to bottom. Old habits die hard. Man, this is going to be tough. The last time I saw her we were both crying and she was leaving and I've spent two months with a broken heart and nothing but her on my mind. In that time I've started counselling and found LS, and have started to live life again without her. Now she's coming by because we have to get this stuff sorted out. What does it mean when the person I was sooo comfortable with three months ago now terrifies me? This was the person I loved with everything I had, and she knows ALL my secrets. I still love her despite what she did to me! I really miss her. I mean I've been thinking of her for two months and living with pain in my chest, but now I'd just rather live with the pain then actually see her again! Totally f***ed up. Yeah, it's tough man. I'm not sure what I would do if my ex showed up. Any chance you can meet her in a neutral spot? That way the association of her with your place won't be as strong. You are scared/nervous because she hurt you and you have been trying to sort through your feelings, and that person you were once with has seemed to be a different person - so you aren't sure what to expect.
sumdude Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Look, you'll get through it ... you're gonna be OK. Try not to worry so much about something that hasn't even happened yet. Try not to build all these scenarios of what will or won't happen. I had to deal with my ex wife for months with financial and divorce stuff. Sure there were some dang hard moments but you get through it. Can't live in fear my good man..
Author ate_the_paint Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 Thanks sumdude. I did get myself worked up over this! I'm calmer now...just going to go with the flow...
justaman99 Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 What does it mean when the person I was sooo comfortable with three months ago now terrifies me? This was the person I loved with everything I had, and she knows ALL my secrets. I still love her despite what she did to me! I really miss her. I think it means that when she does come and get her things organized with you and all, that that will be the last connection between you two. The only thing that will bring you together again is emotion, not obligation. It's the possibility that this will be the last time you see her or talk to her.
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