A break?

[ferio]

So 4 months ago i met a lovely girl and after getting to know her better and spending time together i asked her out and she said yes. We were dating "officially" for 1 month and everything was going very well. There was romance and we enjoyed each others company and everything was going fine. She even told my "i love you" and that was the first time she had told anyone that she told me. 13 days ago she went on a lacrosse trip for 10 days, we talked almost every day for a little and everything was going still good and when she got back sunday night we talked and i told her i was glad she was back and that i cant wait to see her the next day. She said the same thing and i went to bed looking forward to the next day. Unfortunately, we didn't get to spend time on monday and we talked some about the relationship that night but it wasn't an argument more of a discussion. Tuesday, she said she couldn't see me and thats when stuff went down hill. Wednesday, i decided to give her some room and didn't call or text her but when she called me I of course talked to her but thats it. well, today is thursday and i called her around lunch time and asked if we could talk and she said sure and at 5 we went to a park we talked. We talked about many things and we were both crying. She said she wasnt sure if she still had feelings for me but what she did know is that she needed a break from the relationship. we talked some more and we both left then. The weird thing was that after i got home she texted me and told me that i was perfect and that i did nothing wrong and that she really likes me but that she cant handle a relationship right now and that she is scared of getting hurt and scared of loosing her independence and her control over herself. We then talked on the phone some and i told her that she cant live her life being afraid of getting hurt and that she has to enjoy the ups in the relationship and have courage during the downs and we talked some more about it. The thing is im going to germany for a month in 10 days, and i told her that if she ever needs to talk of if she changes her mind to call me before then, but if not id write to her when im there. She said she would love that, and she said she would write back. I was kinda confused and asked that when i get back if we could sit down and talk again about us and maybe a break was all she needs and she said sure. Im really really hurt from this break up but im more confused. Part of me wants to just move on with life, maybe write her like once or twice while im there and when i get back just see how it goes but to not expect anything. The other half of me says she still has feelings for you and its just the relationship that needs work and i want to write her while im in germany and just give her time and then when i get back try to get back together. Im so confused, im not sure what to do. any advice?

[dazed.1]

I think you should go to Germany and have a blast. You don't take a one month break from a relationship that has only lasted one month. Forget about the relationship, after one month you both should only be seeing stars in each others eyes, not talking about who has lost feelings for who (that is if it is meant to be). Trust me, there will be a lot better relationships out there for you, and with a woman who knows what she wants.

 

d

[justaman99]

Hmmm. A month together isn't much of a relationship and to say I love you so soon makes me question her definition of it. Her mentioning not wanting to be hurt hints to me at least that she may have been in a relationship shortly before meeting you. Maybe she was in love with him and maybe he hurt her. Maybe she still thinks about him and she cant offer herself to you completely because her heart is somewhere else, be it with him fully or partially or somewhere neutral where she just can't offer it to anyone right now. What's her history before you?

 

-Just

[ferio]

im like her first real bf, and her first serious relationship, im not sure what else to say