shipwrecked Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Yup, today's the 3 month anniversary of our break up and I stiil feel like crap. When does this pain go away? She never contacts me. I try once in awhile but she justs avoids me. Never responds. This feels f***n great. So in the course of 3 months I still haven't been able to start my career path or do anything productive. Started therapy, started meds, but nothing seems to work. Just staring into space--impotent daydreams. How in the hell can I move on? Feel like I'm losing my mind in a puddle of infinite regression. How the hell could she avoid me after a 4 year relationship when I was her world? This really sucks man. Feel restless, like the walls are closing in on me. Everywhere I go I feel claustrophobic. My leg keeps shaking a mile a minute, my heart keeps dancing up and down, and my head keeps pounding like meat being tenderized. I can't take it!! School loans piling up, can't even look at them, responsibilities gone out the door. No money. Tired of being tired, even my problems have problems. Sick of feeling sorry for myself. All this and it kills me to feel like she doesn't care. No contact, no response.
The Y Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Yup, today's the 3 month anniversary of our break up and I stiil feel like crap. When does this pain go away? She never contacts me. I try once in awhile but she justs avoids me. Never responds. This feels f***n great. So in the course of 3 months I still haven't been able to start my career path or do anything productive. Started therapy, started meds, but nothing seems to work. Just staring into space--impotent daydreams. How in the hell can I move on? Feel like I'm losing my mind in a puddle of infinite regression. How the hell could she avoid me after a 4 year relationship when I was her world? This really sucks man. Feel restless, like the walls are closing in on me. Everywhere I go I feel claustrophobic. My leg keeps shaking a mile a minute, my heart keeps dancing up and down, and my head keeps pounding like meat being tenderized. I can't take it!! School loans piling up, can't even look at them, responsibilities gone out the door. No money. Tired of being tired, even my problems have problems. Sick of feeling sorry for myself. All this and it kills me to feel like she doesn't care. No contact, no response. I think you need at least a month of No Contact.
ate_the_paint Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 I think you need at least a month of No Contact. The Y is right. A month at least! It will work wonders. Hang out with friends and start a new hobby. Think of this as your time. Be defiant. No Contact. That's you taking the power back and regaining your mind and your heart. It's the only way.
The Y Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Yup, today's the 3 month anniversary of our break up and I stiil feel like crap. When does this pain go away? She never contacts me. I try once in awhile but she justs avoids me. Never responds. This feels f***n great. So in the course of 3 months I still haven't been able to start my career path or do anything productive. Started therapy, started meds, but nothing seems to work. Just staring into space--impotent daydreams. How in the hell can I move on? Feel like I'm losing my mind in a puddle of infinite regression. How the hell could she avoid me after a 4 year relationship when I was her world? This really sucks man. Feel restless, like the walls are closing in on me. Everywhere I go I feel claustrophobic. My leg keeps shaking a mile a minute, my heart keeps dancing up and down, and my head keeps pounding like meat being tenderized. I can't take it!! School loans piling up, can't even look at them, responsibilities gone out the door. No money. Tired of being tired, even my problems have problems. Sick of feeling sorry for myself. All this and it kills me to feel like she doesn't care. No contact, no response. Wow, man. I just read this again while I feel like crap. I am suffering again today, but the stuff you're describing i.e. claustrophobic, shaking leg, neglecting responsibilities... That goes away, man. The sooner you decide to be serious about NC, the sooner you're gonna get better. I'm 1 month into NC now, and just this past Tuesday, I went out to lunch with some family members, and I couldn't concentrate on anything but her. I was lousy company, and just wanted to hurry up and get lunch over with, so I could get back to work, and visit freaking LoveShack. So it takes a while man. Like I said, 1 month into this, and it just hit me again today. When you deal with something every day though, you just kind of get used to it. I don't think about calling her, and I don't expect her to call me. It'd be nice, but I don't expect it to happen. A lot of us are in the same boat here. You just gotta go NC, and stick with it. I know how bad it sucks. It's out of our hands though, man. I'm sorry. I really am. Just do this though, and you will be proud of yourself, and how strong you are. And then when you have disappeared from her life for many months, years, etc., she might call you again. No promises, but she might. Do not answer that call. Remember the suffering she's putting you through. I guess that's all I have to say right now. Good luck.
Author shipwrecked Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 Hey Y how long have you been broken up? I'm sorry to hear about your suffering. The other day I just had my second emotional breakdown at work. Had to leave. I'm serious when I say this but I cannot control my emotions. I think about marriage every minute with my ex, and it hurts because she doesn't see a future with me , yet she doesn't even bother to contact me to see how I am. I feel so betrayed. Y, I wish you the best of luck with your endeavors and hope we can get through this without cracking. I can seriously say that this has been the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life, and if you're feeling the same way, well then I wish you the best, man.
foxh1234 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Wow, man. I just read this again while I feel like crap. I am suffering again today, but the stuff you're describing i.e. claustrophobic, shaking leg, neglecting responsibilities... That goes away, man. The sooner you decide to be serious about NC, the sooner you're gonna get better. I'm 1 month into NC now, and just this past Tuesday, I went out to lunch with some family members, and I couldn't concentrate on anything but her. I was lousy company, and just wanted to hurry up and get lunch over with, so I could get back to work, and visit freaking LoveShack. So it takes a while man. Like I said, 1 month into this, and it just hit me again today. When you deal with something every day though, you just kind of get used to it. I don't think about calling her, and I don't expect her to call me. It'd be nice, but I don't expect it to happen. A lot of us are in the same boat here. You just gotta go NC, and stick with it. I know how bad it sucks. It's out of our hands though, man. I'm sorry. I really am. Just do this though, and you will be proud of yourself, and how strong you are. And then when you have disappeared from her life for many months, years, etc., she might call you again. No promises, but she might. Do not answer that call. Remember the suffering she's putting you through. I guess that's all I have to say right now. Good luck. You have come a long way Y, it is great to hear you talking this way.Keep it up man. For the OP, we will all get through this.We have all felt like you do now and Y's advice is correct. Start NC and stick with it. NC and time will work wonders. It has for all of us. Stay strong.
FauxVowel Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Shipwrecked, maybe this will help you get through your struggle with NC - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t156758/
Author shipwrecked Posted July 1, 2008 Author Posted July 1, 2008 Shipwrecked, maybe this will help you get through your struggle with NC - Thanks Y, but it didn't help.
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