HiMeLynn Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 How long usually between "dating" do you decide to become an official"couple"? i'm dating this guy right now who wants to take things "slow". he's really nice, and I don't want to rush him since he's had some bad experiences in the past. i know he's interested,but sometimes i feel like we're hanging out as buddies (with his friends and he'll even invite my sister and her friends to join) and sometimes we're dating. when i talked to him earlier (for nearly 3 hours!!) he was like "well, i mean, we're friends, but we're dating, and i know we both feel like we're interested, right?" so. he wants to know how i feel definitely. i just kinda feel like i have to walk on eggshells, like everything is going to be rushing him, and i don't want to push him into something he doesn't want. should i just date him? i'm also the kind of person who has a hard time even dating more than one person at the same time, so i'm kinda fully waiting on what he wants to do.
Keridan Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 My suggestion is to tell him what you are feeling. Make sure that you aren't putting him on the spot. Tell him that you really like him and want to be with him, but you need him to be with you, too. Explain that you aren't asking for the rest of your lives or even to move in together, just that right now you put the focus on each other. He can still have it slow while he's paying attention to you. If you need that commitment to feel okay and he can't give it, then maybe reassess it. I would be suprised if he wasn't willing to accept that answer, however. I hope this works out for you!
Shygirl15 Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 How long usually between "dating" do you decide to become an official"couple"? i'm dating this guy right now who wants to take things "slow". Welcome to the club. I really have no idea as I'm going though sort of similar situation. Mine has not declared openly to take things slow but is surely acting slow..
eh18 Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 My guy wants to go slow too, the only difference is that we already are in a relationship. The weird thing is that he was the one who initiated that we become exclusive. I'm starting to think now maybe it was because of the sex. We've only gotten to know each other for 3 weeks prior to hooking up, and most of that was long-distance too. So now I'm confused whether he still wants to be with me or needs time to appreciate me as his girlfriend. Maybe because things were a little too fast in the beginning and now he just wants to slow down. But I'm scared that if we take things too slowly, what we have might come to a complete stop.
imbewildered Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 How long usually between "dating" do you decide to become an official"couple"? i'm dating this guy right now who wants to take things "slow". There is no real need to say that you want to "take it slow". A person can "take it slow" by acting that way .. However some men would say that if he wanted to continue to keep his options open and NOt commit to you . Men avoid "commitment" for two reasons ( forget all that 'commitment phobe' crap -it is a myth) Men,as a species, are generally no more fearful of committment than women. Firstly, a lot of men are terrified of marriage ( or even an LTR ) because we fear becoming involved in a relationship with Satan's daughter disguised as an angel of light and not being able to extricate ourselves easily from the train wreck that she causes.. Secondly, we often resist committment because we are just not interested enough in the woman to do so. When a man says "Lets take it slow", he means that he wants the freedom to jump ship quickly and easily if YOU are not what he wants, or what he thought you were.
diesel1218 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 you know that isnt all men. I am in the same situation as she is, but because of a past relationship. It is hard especially when it's new to figure out how to take the next step an be "official"
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