Holy *#5%!!

[Nevermind]

He agreed to sex, so there is some physical attraction. How huge this is...how could we know? It wasn't huge enough for him to be all over you on the date, but that could just mean that he is a nerd who doesn't know any better.

 

Critical point: you were trying to force genuine attraction out of physical attraction/NSA sex. You can't offer a guy sex, then request getting to know each other before that happens. You're in for a lot of pain.

 

You cannot forge genuine attraction. This date went bad. That's just sad, but not the end of the world.

 

What I read, and it seems that everyone else did too, was that you're trying to force his attraction, by first offering sex and then putting conditions to it.

 

It is simply not a good way to act, it's simple manipulation.

 

He agreed to sex, you're not a troll, so I guess he IS physically attracted to you. But not enough to behave better on the date. He didn't ask questions, he didn't behave like a gentleman. You felt bad on that date.

Your offer clearly stems from low self-esteem. Once you were sober again, you realized that NSA sex is not for you, and now you try to force the whole scenario into what you expected it to be: dates, getting to know each other etc.

 

First you were disappointed by his change, now you still say you're attracted. First you said you were feeling so bad about your behaviour that you wanted to die, now you say you just felt a little bad.

 

You are defending a fantasy.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Shadow,

 

If posting on here is going to make you feel 10 times worse after reading some of the responses, then maybe you back off a little. Honestly, if anonymous posters on a public forum can affect your self-esteem that much, then there is a real problem with your thinking. LS is a way to get some different perspectives, and hopefully get some good advice. You should EXPECT that some of the responses will not be to your liking, and may even be misogynistic and or cruel. That sucks, I know, but you just read it and move on. Why you put so much stock into these responses is beyond me. As I see it, only one poster really stuck it to you in the attractiveness area. Yet your response is to continue sparring with this person, defending your attractiveness. Then you say that the collective "you" thinks the guy did not find you attractive at all and just wants to hit it because it is there.

 

The most likely truth: He finds you attractive. The chemistry was off. He still would like to experience physical relations with you. Kinda lame, but probably true.

 

Didn't your thread with the body shot get enough feedback for you? If I remember, there were a considerable number of posts complimenting you on your figure. I also remember people responding positively to your profile pic.

 

Another most likely truth:

 

You both remember each other differently. You met up, the truth did not match up with the fantasy. Disappointing, yes, but not the end of the world. Why is he such a bad guy then? You make him out to be this evil guy who set up this date with no particular reason in mind other than to torture you.

 

I just think you are blowing this WAY out of proportion. The chemistry was off. You were disappointed. You drunk dialed (haven't we all done that before and regretted it?) Instead of just chalking this one up to experience, you are drawing it out with the guy and drawing it out on here.

 

 

I don't know you except from LS, so I only have your posts to examine. However, if I were to make a good educated guess, I would say there are a couple of reasons people are uncomfortable around you.

 

1. You are nervous and it shows. This makes people uncomfortable. It makes them feel nervous and a little agitated, too.

 

2. You are self absorbed and you expect people not to like you, so most likely you aren't really interested in other people. Do you ask people questions? Are you genuinely interested in what they are doing in life? Do you make them feel good about themselves? If you can do this, you will find yourself gaining in popularity.

 

I'm not saying all of this to dump on you, Shadowplay, so I hope that is not your immediate response. I'm just telling you what I see and I hope you can take something away from this. I'm willing to bet that you probably are an interesting, attractive person, and if you can adjust your thinking then you will find more people who want to be around you.

 

I suggest you try something like volunteering to get you out of yourself. Helping out at a homeless shelter has a way of putting things into perspective. You will also see how much you have to offer the world.

[Ssheena]

Hi SP.

 

Just let it go. You made a mistake texting him and you realized, I think, that even though you offered him sex with no strings, it's not really what you want (which is a big step and good for you to acknowledge).

 

The date just wasn't what you had hoped. That's ok. No reflection on you or him. You observed some behavior that wasn't what you deserve: no eye contact, no questions about you etc.. A good potential friend/lover would have provided both of those.

 

Change this around in your head. Think, well, I gave it a shot, I was ok at the bar, I made conversation and he just wasn't the person I thought he would be. Sure, he's nice looking and knows a lot about things but all in all, he didn't seem very interested in me. Since he didn't/doesn't worship the ground I walk on, then he is not worth another iota of my time.

 

Don't contact him again, don't offer yourself to him (why? he doesn't deserve you), just chalk it up to a learning experience and move on. Remember.. work in progress. Find something that you did in all of this that you can say, I'm proud I did that and handled myself that way and forget the drunk text thing. Move forward.

[shadowplay]

Shadow,

 

If posting on here is going to make you feel 10 times worse after reading some of the responses, then maybe you back off a little. Honestly, if anonymous posters on a public forum can affect your self-esteem that much, then there is a real problem with your thinking. LS is a way to get some different perspectives, and hopefully get some good advice. You should EXPECT that some of the responses will not be to your liking, and may even be misogynistic and or cruel. That sucks, I know, but you just read it and move on. Why you put so much stock into these responses is beyond me. As I see it, only one poster really stuck it to you in the attractiveness area. Yet your response is to continue sparring with this person, defending your attractiveness. Then you say that the collective "you" thinks the guy did not find you attractive at all and just wants to hit it because it is there.

 

The most likely truth: He finds you attractive. The chemistry was off. He still would like to experience physical relations with you. Kinda lame, but probably true.

 

Didn't your thread with the body shot get enough feedback for you? If I remember, there were a considerable number of posts complimenting you on your figure. I also remember people responding positively to your profile pic.

 

Another most likely truth:

 

You both remember each other differently. You met up, the truth did not match up with the fantasy. Disappointing, yes, but not the end of the world. Why is he such a bad guy then? You make him out to be this evil guy who set up this date with no particular reason in mind other than to torture you.

 

I just think you are blowing this WAY out of proportion. The chemistry was off. You were disappointed. You drunk dialed (haven't we all done that before and regretted it?) Instead of just chalking this one up to experience, you are drawing it out with the guy and drawing it out on here.

 

 

I don't know you except from LS, so I only have your posts to examine. However, if I were to make a good educated guess, I would say there are a couple of reasons people are uncomfortable around you.

 

1. You are nervous and it shows. This makes people uncomfortable. It makes them feel nervous and a little agitated, too.

 

2. You are self absorbed and you expect people not to like you, so most likely you aren't really interested in other people. Do you ask people questions? Are you genuinely interested in what they are doing in life? Do you make them feel good about themselves? If you can do this, you will find yourself gaining in popularity.

 

I'm not saying all of this to dump on you, Shadowplay, so I hope that is not your immediate response. I'm just telling you what I see and I hope you can take something away from this. I'm willing to bet that you probably are an interesting, attractive person, and if you can adjust your thinking then you will find more people who want to be around you.

 

I suggest you try something like volunteering to get you out of yourself. Helping out at a homeless shelter has a way of putting things into perspective. You will also see how much you have to offer the world.

 

Thanks for the input, even if it was hard to read.

 

You're right that it's a bad sign I take the feedback on an anonymous forum so personally. I will try to post on and read LS less often. I'm naturally pretty sensitive, but I've been feeling especially raw lately because of the demise of my last relationship. Perhaps that is also why the fact that this date flopped shook my confidence so. Somehow I took it as a sign that no guy I find attractive will ever like me.

 

I should also mention that I've been diagnosed with BDD, which means that I turn every rejection into a rejection of my appearance...so that poster really hit a sore spot. You're right that I should have just brushed him off.

 

I also feel frustrated because I've been trying hard in all realms of my life to connect with other people and they never seem interested. I've gone out of my way to be friendly and initiate conversations but it seems to go nowhere. Perhaps I am self absorbed (but not in a positive way) because I'm so obsessive, but I make a real effort to show interest in others. For example, on the date I asked him a lot of questions about his life and interests. I don't think he asked me a single question.

 

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.

[shadowplay]

Btw, I had a few interesting dreams last night that all seemed relevant to this thread in tangential ways.

 

One was that there was this popular internet site that people were using in their cars. Basically, it allowed people to not only have a computer system plan out directions for their trips, but have the cars auto-drive them to their destinations. For some reason one day all the cars started crashing themselves, killing the people inside. I was in a car with my mother and the car went off a bridge. We somehow survived. It was like that movie "The Happening" except with cars. I went to one of the crash sites where people were collecting pieces of the broken bridge as souvenirs and scrawling their initials in the wood.

 

The other was I was out with a friend on a Saturday night and he overheard Mr. Harvard, as we've dubbed him, having a loud, drunken conversation with another guy outside a bar. He told the guy that he had changed his mind about having sex with me. He also said that he had loved three girls in his life, but he could never love me.

 

I also dreamt that my nosey grandmother discovered my LS account, read all my threads and sent them to everyone she knows.

 

Lol.

[ntucci12]

The guy I crushed on and was OBSESSED with for years who just moved to my city for the summer just emailed me and asked if I wanted to get together for drinks/coffee/what have you. I was in the midst of writing him a long, probably very embarrassing email, revealing my feelings when I got this message. I never would have thought in a million years he would take the initiative. I thought he was barely aware of my existence.

 

I know it probably sounds trivial to you guys, but you have to understand the context. We barely knew each other in college, even though we worked at the same place. He was my superior and I was super shy around him. I always had the sneaking suspicion that he fancied me, because I would catch him looking at me. Still, I'm shocked that he would take the initiative. I never in a million years...

 

If I ever kissed him I would die happy.

 

What do I do??!!

 

Seriously, I will be so nervous I'll barely be able to spit any words out.

 

Now that is refreshing! I sure do miss the "good" anxiety. That nervousness...Goodluck...its worth all the anxiety!

[shadowplay]

Why did I want to give him the chance to get to know me better?

 

Because people tend to like me once they scratch beneath the surface. I don't do well at first dates and first impressions but when people have the chance to talk to me a little more, they usually warm up to me. That's exactly what happened with my ex. Our first date was a disaster and he thought I hated him because I was so nervous. He told me he wasn't planning on calling me again but I sent him a message after the date apologizing for my behavior and explaining my shyness. He gave me another chance and we eventually hit it off.

 

With this guy I know a relationship isn't possible, so I decided not to send that message. But I don't think it's out of the question that he could grow to like me if we spend more time together. The thing with my ex's friend started as NSA sex but he grew to really like me and wanted me to be his gf. I think that was partly because I didn't jump in bed with him right away even though he presumed that's what we would do at our first meeting.

 

I know I've screwed things up by putting NSA sex on the table, but I don't think that him liking me more is entirely out of the question...and even if it is, I could still enjoy the experience on a physical level if he makes it clear when we see each other again that he's attracted.

[Jilly Bean]

Shadow - I wonder when you will stop trying to use sex as a weapon. When you feel emotionally rejected, it's what you always seem to fall back on to try and manipulate men into loving you.

 

WON'T WORK.

 

And here you went and created a whole new drama in your life.

 

*sigh*

 

When a date doesn't turn out well, most people cut their losses, go home and lick their wounds, and then move on. They don't try to manipulate the person into loving them through sex. It's like you try SO hard to control and manipulate everyone you encounter. I think this is probably why women don't befriend you - they must sense the games you play.

[konfuzd]

Have you talked to your therapist about this?

 

Please do.

[endlesstrains]

Shadow, you are a WRECK. You need to take at LEAST the next six months off from boys. Completely. Do not think about boys, do not lust after boys, do not even talk to a member of the male gender. Seriously. Reading your threads is like watching you, at the bottom of a well, with hundreds of people throwing you rope and saying "Shadow, climb up this rope!"... but instead you just say "No, I'll keep digging, I'm bound to reach China any day now." You need to work on yourself A LOT and you need to stop dragging other people into your convoluted drama. Get some therapy, spend time by yourself and with platonic friends, and work your life out, Shadow. Seriously.

[A.G.Doren]

Hi Shadow,

 

It's good that you're talking to a therapist and working on your issues. I'm going to recommend some different books to you because I've struggled in some of the same areas and had to do a lot of work myself.

 

The Art of Conversation. I can't remember the author's name but you can get it on Amazon or Half.com. It's a short, easy read, a little old school, but it will definitely help.

 

The Thrill of the Chaste this book talks about sex and chastity. While I won't tell you to be chaste reading another perspective on sex, casual sex and enjoying sex may give you some deeper insight into your own needs.

[Star Gazer]

Shadow - I wonder when you will stop trying to use sex as a weapon. When you feel emotionally rejected, it's what you always seem to fall back on to try and manipulate men into loving you.

 

WON'T WORK.

 

And here you went and created a whole new drama in your life.

 

*sigh*

 

When a date doesn't turn out well, most people cut their losses, go home and lick their wounds, and then move on. They don't try to manipulate the person into loving them through sex. It's like you try SO hard to control and manipulate everyone you encounter. I think this is probably why women don't befriend you - they must sense the games you play.

 

You summed it up perfectly, JB. Every single word.

[shadowplay]

Have you talked to your therapist about this?

 

Please do.

 

I'm seeing her tomorrow.

[shadowplay]

I think this is probably why women don't befriend you - they must sense the games you play.[/quote]

 

I doubt that's the reason. You would never know by looking at me that I would be into casual sex -- I definitely don't give off that vibe. I dress pretty conservatively and mostly keep to myself. I rarely flirt with guys. I come off as shy and nervous.

[shadowplay]

Hi Shadow,

 

It's good that you're talking to a therapist and working on your issues. I'm going to recommend some different books to you because I've struggled in some of the same areas and had to do a lot of work myself.

 

The Art of Conversation. I can't remember the author's name but you can get it on Amazon or Half.com. It's a short, easy read, a little old school, but it will definitely help.

 

The Thrill of the Chaste this book talks about sex and chastity. While I won't tell you to be chaste reading another perspective on sex, casual sex and enjoying sex may give you some deeper insight into your own needs.

 

Thanks for the recommendation: I will definitely pick up that conversation book.

[Star Gazer]

I doubt that's the reason. You would never know by looking at me that I would be into casual sex -- I definitely don't give off that vibe. I dress pretty conservatively and mostly keep to myself. I rarely flirt with guys. I come off as shy and nervous.

 

That wasn't JB's point. She wasn't referring to engaging in casual sex. Casual sex is NOT manipulative.

 

Many women can sniff out MANIPULATORS a mile away, particularly when those manipulators are women who yanking a man's chain for personal pleasure.

[shadowplay]

That wasn't JB's point. She wasn't referring to engaging in casual sex. Casual sex is NOT manipulative.

 

Many women can sniff out MANIPULATORS a mile away, particularly when those manipulators are women who yanking a man's chain for personal pleasure.

 

Somehow I think if you met me in person your impression would be very different.

 

The stuff I talk about on here I'd never discuss with anybody I barely knew. Given the kind of small talk I engage in with other girls (movies, hobbies, weather, what have you), I can't see how they would ever come to that conclusion. I rarely even talk about guys with other women unless I know them super well.

 

You say women can sniff "manipulators" from a mile away but what signs could they possibly pick up on based on such scant evidence?

 

The most common feedback I've gotten from others about my first impression is that I seem "nervous," "shy" and "cold."

[shadowplay]

Hi SP.

 

Just let it go. You made a mistake texting him and you realized, I think, that even though you offered him sex with no strings, it's not really what you want (which is a big step and good for you to acknowledge).

 

The date just wasn't what you had hoped. That's ok. No reflection on you or him. You observed some behavior that wasn't what you deserve: no eye contact, no questions about you etc.. A good potential friend/lover would have provided both of those.

 

Change this around in your head. Think, well, I gave it a shot, I was ok at the bar, I made conversation and he just wasn't the person I thought he would be. Sure, he's nice looking and knows a lot about things but all in all, he didn't seem very interested in me. Since he didn't/doesn't worship the ground I walk on, then he is not worth another iota of my time.

 

Don't contact him again, don't offer yourself to him (why? he doesn't deserve you), just chalk it up to a learning experience and move on. Remember.. work in progress. Find something that you did in all of this that you can say, I'm proud I did that and handled myself that way and forget the drunk text thing. Move forward.

 

Thanks, that made me feel better. I will try to change my thinking and see it as his loss rather than mine. I will try to chalk it up to a learning experience. I'm actually feeling more clear-headed about things today.

 

I am proud of myself for at least going because it was really hard for me to do.

[shadowplay]

Shadow - I wonder when you will stop trying to use sex as a weapon. When you feel emotionally rejected, it's what you always seem to fall back on to try and manipulate men into loving you.

 

WON'T WORK.

 

And here you went and created a whole new drama in your life.

 

*sigh*

 

When a date doesn't turn out well, most people cut their losses, go home and lick their wounds, and then move on. They don't try to manipulate the person into loving them through sex. It's like you try SO hard to control and manipulate everyone you encounter. I think this is probably why women don't befriend you - they must sense the games you play.

 

Jilly, I appreciate your response even if it's harsh. I agree with some of your points and not others.

 

First off, I'm not sure it's even possible I use sex as a weapon when I've only slept with two guys at the age of 24. I never had sex with my longest term bf who was, or claimed to be, very much in love with me. I also didn't in the 8-month relationship preceding him. I certainly wasn't manipulating those guys into loving me. I think they loved me because I gave them the chance to see what I was really like past the awkward surface.

 

The only way I've tended to "manipulate" guys, if you can call it that, is by coming on strong at the beginning (but typically not in a sexual way) if they seemed interested at first and then backed off.

 

After the disastrous first date with my most recent ex I sent him the apologetic email, while most girls would have just walked away. I figured that if I was given the chance to feel less nervous around him, we would inevitably click, and we did in a big way. He was the one who pushed me sexually from the start. I was uncomfortable with how much sex he wanted, so I certainly wasn't using it as a weapon on him.

 

The same pattern with my ex ex. He didn't feel a connection on our first date because he thought I was too socially awkward. But I pursued him for a bit and then we really clicked, without ever doing the deed.

 

I also had a rocky start with the guy I dated for three years. He broke up with me after the first month because he thought I was too "stiff" and didn't feel like we were clicking. A few months later I saw him again and pursued him. I took the pressure off and told him we'd just date casually and see where things went. He was hesitant at first, but once I let my guard down he found we had a huge amount in common. He was the one who later pushed for exclusivity, and he grew to love me.

 

Maybe that's hard to believe based on the personality I've presented on this forum, but it's true.

 

Most girls aren't this forward. They give up faster when a guy doesn't bite, and that works for them. But I need to work harder to overcome the nervous, shy first impression I leave. I wouldn't call it manipulative, so much as I know what I want and I go for it. Sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes it does. I also wonder if some girls who give up early would be surprised by their success if they were more aggressive about pursuing guys. I'm not talking about the drunk text message I sent, but about showing strong interest at the beginning.

 

I'll admit it leaves me feeling crappy that I usually have to do more work than other girls at the beginning, but it's the only way that has worked for me. If I didn't try to "force" things at the start, I'd be left with a lot of awkward first dates and no relationships. I hope that gaining some social skills will solve this problem later down the road when I'm actually ready to be in a relationship. I'm not now.

 

My problem has never been maintaining a guy's interest once he's hooked. Instead I do stupid things to sabotage relationships, which is why I'm not ready to be in another for awhile.

 

Yes, I was probably using sex as a tool in the case of Mr. Harvard, yet you forget that I was piss drunk. I'd never have sent it sober but once it was out there it, was out there. In my drunken state I reasoned that I might as well cut to the chase since my primary interest in him was living out a sexual fantasy. I immediately regretted it the next morning, hence my original post (most of which I wrote before I read his response).

 

But some of my regret was tied to the fact that I was sure he would never go for it. I thought he either wouldn't respond or would be like "uh....ok...I don't think that's such a good idea." So when he responded enthusiastically, I was taken aback and actually stopped to reconsider the possibility. Before I had time to really process the consequences it felt like a tempting possibility given my attraction to him. For the record I've decided not to go through with it. Sending that message was a huge blunder, but everybody's done something stupid like that at one time or another. One day I'll be able to laugh about it once the embarrassment has worn off.

 

You have to understand my temptation for casual sex is strong in part because of my lack of experience. I never went to parties in college or hooked up with random guys like most girls do. I only had long, long relationships. But I always wondered what it would be like to have little casual flings or hookups. I used to be really uptight. I was also scared of sex because I was convinced I had some anatomical problem that prevented me from doing it.

 

Now that I've actually had sex...I've discovered it's something I like. But I won't do it with this guy because it will be too emotionally charged for me.

[Jilly Bean]

Shadow, this is what you wrote about the date:

 

A few things I noticed that made me feel bad. He asked me NO questions about myself, none. He also wasn't making very good eye contact, looking around the room at times. Made me feel like he didn't want to be there.

Then we came to a stop in the middle of the square near the train station, and we both looked at each other like "what now?"

 

"So you're getting on the train?" he asked. "Yeah," I said.

Then he said "Okay, well, I'll see you around," turned around and walked in the other direction. WTF.

 

It was at the point that you sensed he was not interested (which he wasn't), that you texted him and offered him casual sex.

 

THAT is how you are sexually manipulative.

 

You also used sex to manipulate everything with your ex and his best friend.

 

When most people sense rejection, as I said earlier, they lick their wounds and move on. YOU decide to play the "P" card.

 

As women, we all know we are capable of such actions, as we call the shots when it comes to sex. Which is why we can sniff out that behavior in others of the species - lol. Women are intuitive and can tell bad women from good women. I honestly think this character flaw is what keeps you from forming female friendships. Other women can SENSE a manipulator.

 

So, this guy wasn't interested, you didn't seem to be too interested in him either, from the initial description. But, as soon as he was on his merry way, you snapped and used the only thing you thought you had to keep him around. Sex.

[shadowplay]

Shadow, this is what you wrote about the date:

 

A few things I noticed that made me feel bad. He asked me NO questions about myself, none. He also wasn't making very good eye contact, looking around the room at times. Made me feel like he didn't want to be there.

 

Then we came to a stop in the middle of the square near the train station, and we both looked at each other like "what now?"

 

"So you're getting on the train?" he asked. "Yeah," I said.

Then he said "Okay, well, I'll see you around," turned around and walked in the other direction. WTF.

 

It was at the point that you sensed he was not interested (which he wasn't), that you texted him and offered him casual sex.

 

THAT is how you are sexually manipulative.

 

You also used sex to manipulate everything with your ex and his best friend.

 

When most people sense rejection, as I said earlier, they lick their wounds and move on. YOU decide to play the "P" card.

 

As women, we all know we are capable of such actions, as we call the shots when it comes to sex. Which is why we can sniff out that behavior in others of the species - lol. Women are intuitive and can tell bad women from good women. I honestly think this character flaw is what keeps you from forming female friendships. Other women can SENSE a manipulator.

 

So, this guy wasn't interested, you didn't seem to be too interested in him either, from the initial description. But, as soon as he was on his merry way, you snapped and used the only thing you thought you had to keep him around. Sex.

 

I was drunk! Jeez.

 

And thanks for implying I'm a "bad woman." You shouldn't be so quick to make sweeping judgments about another's character. What I did to my ex was wrong. Drunk texting this guy was not wrong. It only hurt me, not him. Based on some of the things you've written about your own life and past elsewhere, you're not in a position to throw stones. I think you're actually projecting.

 

I never used sex as a weapon on my ex. I didn't use sex as a weapon on his friend either. I simply wanted to have sex with his friend, which was wrong, but I wasn't trying to manipulate him into "loving me." You don't get me.

[shadowplay]

I feel pretty terrible. I thought I could just let it go and everything would be ok. Put it behind me.

 

But I talked to my mother about it and she totally flipped out and started calling me names, screaming in my face and saying I was crazy. Instead of just being like "okay, you made a mistake. Move on."

 

I have no one to talk to about this in real life. I thought I could turn to her, but she was so nasty. She also didn't seem to understand at all how rejected I felt by the experience.

 

I'm worried when I tell my therapist she'll just react the same way (at least inwardly).

[shadowplay]

I'm considering sending this retraction:

 

I'm sorry I sent you that message. I was drunk when I sent it but I should have retracted it the next morning. I'm interested in seeing you in a normal way, but I don't get the sense that you feel the same way. So it goes.

 

--Shadow

 

My mother thinks I should just not say anything...but I think I'll feel better about myself if he knows I know I made a mistake. At least he'll be less likely to tell everybody we mutually know. And I'll have also closed the door on any possibility.

 

I just wish I could go back in time and erase the whole thing. I wish I had never seen him...I wish I hadn't sent the text. Why must I be so self destructive. I had been doing better for awhile too and finally getting my life in order. I don't want this to derail me. I have to draw everything out, I can't lt anything go. I have to internalize every rejection.

 

The whole experience brought me back to the pain I felt five years ago when he wrote me a kind of hostile email about something I had written in the school paper. Actually I don't remember what the email said, just that it made it clear he didn't like me. I remember lying in my room at school in the dark and crying for hours. That's why this whole thing devestated me so much.

 

I just really, really need someone's shoulder to cry on right now.

[konfuzd]

Please talk to your therapist before you say anything to him.

 

You can be guaranteed she's heard a lot of crazier things, and she is not there to judge you, rather to understand you and help you understand your own motivations. It's not important what she or anyone else thinks of you, what's important is that you improve the way you feel about yourself.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Maybe you should focus on meeting new people as friends before worrying about boyfriends.

 

Have you ever had any close friends, or a group of friends?