Star Gazer Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Shadow, don't engage him. You'll never understand his point.
Author shadowplay Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 He's not interested, that's why he was fine with turning a potential series of dates into a series of sexual meet ups. He could be going through a baron spell and you are just a release for him. You've offered it to him on a plate and not many men will turn it down, that's all I'm saying. He's leaving soon, so it's not like we could have had a relationship anyway...i think that's why his interest is only sexual.
Author shadowplay Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Shadow, don't engage him. You'll never understand his point. do you agree with his point?
Author shadowplay Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Why are you thinking about sleeping with him? You said you feel like a slut and you wanted things to happen more naturally. You may want to sex him, but you don't want it like this and now you are seeming desperate. "I can't have a relationship with you so I'll take whatever I can get." You're not even really attracted to him anymore. I am attracted to him.
JP77 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 He's leaving soon, so it's not like we could have had a relationship anyway...i think that's why his interest is only sexual. No. You have offered him sex, he isn't going to turn it down. His interest is in getting between your legs and once you let him, it wouldn't surprise me, if you never saw him again. By all means sleep with him, fulfill both your desires, but he is only interested in one thing. Getting Laid. If it was with you, or someone else, it doesn't matter. He just wants to get laid before he leaves town.
Author shadowplay Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 No. You have offered him sex, he isn't going to turn it down. His interest is in getting between your legs and once you let him, it wouldn't surprise me, if you never saw him again. By all means sleep with him, fulfill both your desires, but he is only interested in one thing. Getting Laid. If it was with you, or someone else, it doesn't matter. He just wants to get laid before he leaves town. that doesn't mean he isn't attracted to me.
JP77 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 that doesn't mean he isn't attracted to me. Keep deluding yourself, if you want to. Nothing you have posted shows he is interested in you. Prove me wrong and I'll eat humble pie. Girl, a lot of men sleep with women, not because we are attracted to them, but because they are aasy and offer it to us on a plate. Are you seriously asking a red hot blooded male to turn down sex?
Star Gazer Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 do you agree with his point? I'm not sure. If he's a confident guy and he's interested, he wouldn't have pulled a "See ya!" the way he did. If he's a little insecure and unsure about your motives, I can see him taking off like that. Either way, whether he's truly interested doesn't really seem relevant, does it? You want to hook up with him, you're not interested in a relationship, you offered sex NSA, and he's accepting the offer. Whether he "likes" you and how much seems moot, as you're going to get the booty from him if you want it.
Author shadowplay Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Keep deluding yourself, if you want to. Nothing you have posted shows he is interested in you. Prove me wrong and I'll eat humble pie. Girl, a lot of men sleep with women, not because we are attracted to them, but because they are aasy and offer it to us on a plate. Are you seriously asking a red hot blooded male to turn down sex? i mean, he was the other one who originally asked me to go to the bar out of the blue even though we barely, and i mean barely (like exchanged a few words), knew each other in college. I'm trying to understand your point of view, but what have I posted to suggest he's NOT physically attracted to me?
Author shadowplay Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 I'm not sure. If he's a confident guy and he's interested, he wouldn't have pulled a "See ya!" the way he did. If he's a little insecure and unsure about your motives, I can see him taking off like that. Either way, whether he's truly interested doesn't really seem relevant, does it? You want to hook up with him, you're not interested in a relationship, you offered sex NSA, and he's accepting the offer. Whether he "likes" you and how much seems moot, as you're going to get the booty from him if you want it. Right...the problem is to enjoy sex, even casual sex, I need to feel desired. If I feel like a guy isn't attracted to me that kills it.
JP77 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I'm trying to understand your point of view, but what have I posted to suggest he's NOT physically attracted to me? You offered him sex and that was enough for him to change his stance. When a man changes his stance like that, it means he doesn't value you like he should do. Tell me, has he ever complimented you on the way you look? Has he been overtly flirtatious, has he tried it on with you? Has he made hints to want to sleep with you? If he has then he is probably interested in you, in a small way, if he hasn't he's not interested and just wants to get his penis wet.
Star Gazer Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Right...the problem is to enjoy sex, even casual sex, I need to feel desired. If I feel like a guy isn't attracted to me that kills it. I hear ya. I'm only into guys who are into me. I haven't followed this thread closely enough. How has he acted towards you in the past? Flirty? Innuendo? "That sounds lovely" sounds like he has romantic inclinations towards you...
JP77 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 "That sounds lovely" sounds like he has romantic inclinations towards you... Not it doesn't. Don't fill the girls head with nonsense, SG. I say that and when I do, I mean it in a sarcastic way. Men love sarcasm, SG. He probably just wanted to make the poster, shut the hell up.
Author shadowplay Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 You offered him sex and that was enough for him to change his stance. When a man changes his stance like that, it means he doesn't value you like he should do. Tell me, has he ever complimented you on the way you look? Has he been overtly flirtatious, has he tried it on with you? Has he made hints to want to sleep with you? If he has then he is probably interested in you, in a small way, if he hasn't he's not interested and just wants to get his penis wet. No I mean I can't stress enough that we barely know each other. That's the thing. He's super awkward, nerdy and nervous. When we were in college together I caught him looking at me sometimes..I always got the feeling he was attracted.
Author shadowplay Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 I really, really wish I hadn't sent that message. I'm considering sending something like this "I've been having second thoughts. I mean I would like to, but I feel we should get to know each other a *little* better first otherwise it just takes the fun out of the whole experience. The alternative feels unnatural to me. If you're not interested in anything other than hopping into bed right away, it's probably not a good idea." I figure that way it will eliminate him if he's not at all interested.
JP77 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 No I mean I can't stress enough that we barely know each other. That's the thing. He's super awkward, nerdy and nervous. When we were in college together I caught him looking at me sometimes..I always got the feeling he was attracted. Not enough to go by, Shadow. It certainly doesn't make me swallow humble pie. I think, I'm bang on the money. He just wants sex and if some fat woman with spandex offered it to him, he'd take it.
Author shadowplay Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Not enough to go by, Shadow. It certainly doesn't make me swallow humble pie. I think, I'm bang on the money. He just wants sex and if some fat woman with spandex offered it to him, he'd take it. Gee thanks. Way to make me feel worse about myself.
JP77 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Gee thanks. Way to make me feel worse about myself. I don't mean to sound harsh. There's nothing wrong with you, but you need to learn that not every man who you get with is going to be interested or attracted to you, especially if they are like me. And believe me when I say there are millions of men around the world who operate like me. This guy might be just like me, or he might not, but he hasn't shown sure signs that he is into you.
Author shadowplay Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 What do you guys think of sending this? I've been having second thoughts. I mean I would like to, but I feel we should get to know each other a *little* better first otherwise it just takes the fun out of the whole experience. The alternative feels unnatural to me. If you're not interested in anything other than hopping into bed for one night, it's probably not a good idea. I kind of got the sense from the way you left abruptly last night that you didn't like me. That's fine, but part of the pleasure in sex for me is feeling desired. So I need to feel there's some mutual attraction to actually enjoy it.
2sunny Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 too much chatter - men want the bottom line! a few words will suffice. how about: i changed my mind!
Author shadowplay Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 too much chatter - men want the bottom line! a few words will suffice. how about: i changed my mind! no, because i haven't exactly changed my mind. i've decided that i'll do it if he takes me on a few dates first. if he's not interested in that, i'm not interested. i'm trying to communicate that message.
Star Gazer Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 What do you guys think of sending this? I've been having second thoughts. I mean I would like to, but I feel we should get to know each other a *little* better first otherwise it just takes the fun out of the whole experience. The alternative feels unnatural to me. If you're not interested in anything other than hopping into bed for one night, it's probably not a good idea. I kind of got the sense from the way you left abruptly last night that you didn't like me. That's fine, but part of the pleasure in sex for me is feeling desired. So I need to feel there's some mutual attraction to actually enjoy it. Blech. You sound so whiny. If he was attracted, that would make him lose it.
Author shadowplay Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Blech. You sound so whiny. If he was attracted, that would make him lose it. well, how could i get to the point and make it less whiny?
2sunny Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 no, because i haven't exactly changed my mind. i've decided that i'll do it if he takes me on a few dates first. if he's not interested in that, i'm not interested. i'm trying to communicate that message. the only message being communicated is that you don't know what you want - but you're willing to yank his chain by changing your mind every two minutes. save the poor guy the misery, shadow.
JP77 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 What do you guys think of sending this? I've been having second thoughts. I mean I would like to, but I feel we should get to know each other a *little* better first otherwise it just takes the fun out of the whole experience. The alternative feels unnatural to me. If you're not interested in anything other than hopping into bed for one night, it's probably not a good idea. I kind of got the sense from the way you left abruptly last night that you didn't like me. That's fine, but part of the pleasure in sex for me is feeling desired. So I need to feel there's some mutual attraction to actually enjoy it. You'll turn his sexual orientation with that comment and it just goes to show, you can't hack this whole casual sex thing.
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