dazed.1 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I just broke up (9 days ago + NC) with my bf of 2 1/2 years. We met in college and were so in love. The problem was that it was an interracial relationship with a lot of family complications (his father didn't accept our relationship). We dated anyway, behind his fathers back (rest of fam knew), felt that if we could show him how much we loved eachother that all would be okay and his father would accept us....never happened. BF was given ultimatum and as I expected, chose his family. I don't know whether to be angry at him or not...sometimes I think "I hate you, how could you do this...you were my best friend, my lover, my companion and now you are taking that away from me?" and other times I think I feel sorry for him because he had to give up his best friend, lover and companion too. But I wonder if he ever really loved me...how could he let me go? I know what I feel I lost but did he lose just as much? I know family means a lot but in this case his family was wrong. Why didn't he stand up for our relationship? So I am slowly letting go, I have accepted we will never be what we were ever again. Sometimes I check to see if he called/e-mailed, but I know he will not, I made sure he would maintain NC because I couldn't deal with that. But it kills me to think that I don't or won't hold that special place in his heart ever again. He meant so much to me and I thought I meant a lot to him, I can't bear the thought of him having what we had, with someone else. I am so afraid to see him and that love I once saw in his eyes will not be there...maybe someone else will have it. I can't take that.
justine4 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I really feel for you. What a horrible situation to be in. Thankfully I have'nt ever been in a relationship where my family have intervened. I guess, if I felt a lot for the person, I'd defend them and (probably through pure stubborness too) I'd stand my ground, defend my partner, and be willing to fall out with them if they didn't accept him. However I can understand how difficult it must be, and it must've put a lot of pressure on you both. You lasted a long time against that kind of pressure. I would say theres a good chance he'll come to resent his father in time. I know thats of no consolation to you now, however, you never know whats going to happen. People and their prejudices:mad: The world would be a far better place without any (prejudices that is, not people!) I hope you find the strength to get through this horrible period in your life.
Author dazed.1 Posted June 26, 2008 Author Posted June 26, 2008 Thanks for your words. It's funny how you say he may resent his father someday....maybe if he chose me he would one day resent me. I'm glad it'll be his father.
justine4 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Thanks for your words. It's funny how you say he may resent his father someday....maybe if he chose me he would one day resent me. I'm glad it'll be his father. Thats another way of looking at it I guess, and there'd be no guarantee that wouldn't be the case. Its a shame when it has to be a choice. He may look back in the future and regret his decision, only time will tell. However, I know thats no consolation to you now.
Author dazed.1 Posted June 26, 2008 Author Posted June 26, 2008 Yeah the fact that there had to be a choice is really the worst part. I felt it was so unfair because it wasn't me giving the ultimatum, I loved him unconditionally, yet I was the one who ended up being hurt.
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