Jaymac388 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 My ex boyfriend (we dated for 2 years, broke up last summer) always used to seem like he was a little unhappy with where he was. Not in terms of me necessarily, but in terms of living where we do and going to school, etc. He would always complain about it and want to do something different with his life. I always wanted him to be happy, but at the same time, I kind of took a little bit of offense to it. I always felt like deep down he was saying that he wanted different than me, and in essence, that's what he ended up saying when we broke up. Now I sort of have a fear of that. I really think the way he treated me (not that it was horrible, just a little passive aggressive and not as good as i deserve) affected me. I'm constantly paranoid about the guys I've dated since. I really like a guy I'm dating now, but he just went on an overseas trip and now he's talking about how much he wants to move there. I know we're just dating and haven't known each other for very long, but at the same time, it worries me. I don't know if I just can't let the past go and take things step by step or what. I don't know how to not be worried about what could happen in the future. Why would something like that bother me so much? I'm happy that he had a good time and am glad he's excited about things. Why can't I just let it go, and what should I do?
Keridan Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 That's a tough situation. You are haunted by ghosts and are trying not to let them affect your current relationship. The good news is that you are aware of what is causing the worries. Honestly, I have very little advice. I say talk to the new guy. Tell him how the past made you feel and that you are having feelings that you would appreciate him addressing even though they seem irrational. Most likely he would be happy to lay those fears to rest rather than have them fester into a real problem. My wife has silly concerns all the time. She knows they are silly and yet they matter to her. Honestly, I think it's kind of cute. I absolutely prefer she gives me the chance to address it rather than letting it build. I think everyone has feelings that they dont' think are rational. He is very likely to be understanding about it. I wish you all the best and hope you work out your frustrations!
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