fedora82 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I'm 22, dating 35 year old man with 16 month old child. He's been divorced for a year. I've seen him 4 times. We only go out on dates Mondays on Tuesdays. He never commits to it, I have to e-mail him morning of to check to make sure he doesn't have a meeting, kid's dentist appointment, etc. I'm extremely attracted to him and enjoy our time together but it is a pain in the ass trying to arrange a date with him. I haven't slept with him. He'd love to of course. Right now he is gone for 2 weeks travelling Europe. This is the second guy I've dated with a kid. Glutton for punishment I guess. I am going to be extremely busy in September with school and work. I'm thinking this might be an arrangement that may work out well. We never call unless to make plans. Barely msn. My options are 1) sleep with him - risk getting more attached 2) don't sleep with him and keep dating as per usual 3) dump him. find someone with more time
BannaBee57 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Wow, I just went through virtually the exact same thing, except I was the one who went to Europe for two weeks Anyway, it ended up not working out due to the fact that we were just in way different places in our lives...him with kids and 11 yeas older, me with school and just being a normal 20 something. And he was a little more freshly divorced and still dealing. Do not sleep with him. You will only get more attached and wanting more than he can give. I didn't sleep with my guy and am so glad I didn't. I would suggest keeping a distance and letting him come to you and start making some of the plans if he is truely interested. Oh yeah, and while I was in Europe he screwed my prostitute of a boss
Tomzzz Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Hi, Fedora. It's good to see you're trying to get a satisfactory solution to your uncertain situation. Option #1 definitely won't accomplish anything at all. Sure, you might get more attached, but he won't. In fact, he would probably dump you completely even sooner. You can always tell if a man is sincere by whether or not he wants sex from you. If he's really interested in YOU, not just your body, he won't mind you preserving your dignity until marriage. If he leaves because he couldn't have his way, good riddance. He'll just find another girl who doesn't think so highly of herself, which isn't hard to do. You say this guy would sleep with you if you would go along, but it looks like he isn't trying real hard to even do that. IMHO, you should hold your head up and face the fact that you seem to be just a convenience to him, not a priority, anyway. You have to place a true value on yourself as opposed to trying to get it from somebody like this guy: it's just not going to happen. There has to be something better for you down the road, you just can't see it right now. I realize there's an attraction on your part there, but you can deal with that once you examine this deal in a true light. I hope my 2 cents worth helps in some way.
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