junpark Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 HELP! My doctor (John) and I have known each other for 15 years. We always got along well, we think and talk the same way, so we were a good team as patient and doctor. I swear we knew each other in a previous life. My boyfriend was angered because we were flirting in front of him, he thought. I have had the same exams done over and over again most of my life. He did them most of the time. I was sedated for most tests. (cancer related) If he wasn't doing the exam, he would show up to the procedure even though there were 2 doctors and 2 nurses tending to me. He once sang in my ear as I was getting ready for the procedure. On another occasion, he stroked my hair and head. He would help unbutton my clothes when I was prepping for an exam. He would walk with me and if my collar stood straight up, he'd straighten it. He called we talked about everything we could think - spent like 4 minutes on my medical stuff. The staff knew of me before I ever met them and either they hated me or really liked me. They would say that they now knew why he spoke of me to them because I was so beautiful. He once quietly walked behind me as I was walking to the elevator. Before I knew it he was standing next to me just staring before I noticed. He had this lovely smile. We met coincidentally away from the hospital in cities far from either our homes. Both times I caught him just staring at me from a distance and he was so caught off guard he couldn't say much except hello. His mother visited me in the hospital a couple of times and she was so sweet and kind. There are other intimate stories that I can't share because it might sound familiar to someone who might come across this post. He couldn't be my doc for a couple years. We are working together again and he is still a great doctor to work with and we are still very comfortable around each other. He tends to my every need. He doesn't have a ring on his finger or any sign of a girlfriend. I am so torn because I love him in my life but don't want to question our relationship again. Nothing much happened on this visit but it was just for a half day. I don't know if I was just making this all up in my head. Can anyone talk to me about this?
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 If you want to go out with him, and he is available you will have to take care of a few things first: 1. Break things off with your boyfriend. Regardless of whether it works out with Dr. I don't see much of a point in staying in a relationship under these circumstances. 2. Make your 'outside' interest known, and see where it goes. Ask him if he would like to go out with you sometime for drinks or coffee. 3. Switch doctors. If you date him or not, the line of professional patient/doctor interaction has been crossed (even before now) and you will need to see another doctor. He could get in some serious trouble if he is reported.
in_absentia Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 I would be very very careful if I were you. To help you undress for an exam seems to me to be a huge breach of medical professionalism and some of the other things you mentioned (singing, stroking) seem really inappropriate too. If I were in your situation I think I'd break things off with the bf (he doesn't seem to mean that much to you, or does he?) then change doctors, telling your current doctor the reason is that you feel an attraction to him or something, or that it's not appropriate to be working together anymore. That opens the door for him to make a move and you'll soon find out if he had any intention of taking things further. But still, I'd be cautious of a man who is willing to risk his career by crossing the line in ways he has done with you.
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