motive2002 Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I've had this link for a while, and thought I'd share it with you. Sometimes it's really hard to take a good, honest look at yourself.... but read this, and really think about it, and your ex and see if it starts to add up. http://www.joy2meu.com/Toxiclove.htm That link is part of a multi-article site with all kinds of stuff like that.
Author motive2002 Posted June 25, 2008 Author Posted June 25, 2008 Another link: Obsessive love http://www.mental-health-matters.com/articles/article.php?artID=342 Also.. this one is just silly. Local to the Northwest, this high risk insurance company wants you to "drive yer car!" This is a real commercial, and some of the other ones are even sillier. DANCE!
orangehose Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Interesting link. Some of the 'toxic' characteristics hit a chord, although one's R can be far from toxic and still fail miserably. Good stuff to keep in mind, for sure.
critter909 Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I see many relationships start to turn toxic when problems surface. If you don't openly discuss the issues and solve them you get a lot of clinginess and passive agressive behavior. I saw some of this at the end of my R.
foolednm Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Wow, what a great link about the toxic relationships. I lived it, every single one of those toxic definitions. I went through all of that, every single day. Did she care? Hell NO!! Did she regret ever being mean and hurtful and cruel to me? Hell NO!! Man, what an idiot I was!! She had way too much power and control over me! Damn, that makes me mad! I hate her. I wish pain and sorrow and as much torment that I can so she can feel what she has done to me! Why do they still get to us WAY after it's been over??? I hate her. Her name is Sharon and she is the devil!!!
CandyGirlXO Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Toxic love? This sounds like how my EX and I both were. I thought EVERY R is like that besides the accusing the other person of cheating and driving by to make sure they are where they say they are? I mean how often do people in a long term R talk on the phone or see eachother?
LikeCharlotte Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 The last R had one and a half of the issues in the toxic love article and i seriously think with a little work we would have knocked it out. #6. Love - Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together. Toxic love - Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation. At first it was just him but I started behaving that way toward then end. I knew better but somehow I got sucked in for a moment. Charlotte behaved badly, its true. #13. Love - Cycle of comfort and contentment. Toxic love - Cycle of pain and despair. That one is a half. I thought we had a cycle of comfort and contentment. He insisted we had a cycle of pain and dispair until we actually did. That was eye opening but not in the expected way. Suddenly I think he was involed with toxic love at one time and was afraid to be in it again. Hmmm.... yeah, nope, don't care. He lost me.
Trialbyfire Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 That was an interesting link for Toxic love, motive. Realistically speaking, I think there are graduating levels between the two extremes referenced per point with healthy relationships containing a few of the toxic points. For example, I know I'm territorial and don't plan to change that! This doesn't mean that any partner can't have a life without me. If anything, I encourage them to go out with their friends. After the demise of my marriage through infidelity from my ex, the last thing I want is a partner who has women sniffing around him at all times where he does nothing about it and/or encourages/does not discourage it. Instead of making me cling, it makes me distance myself and bolt. Never again will I put up with another ego-maniac!
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