alialui Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I started liking a new guy and he's treating me like a queen. He is very caring and wants to know everything about me. When I decided to walk away from the past dysfunctional relationship and ongoing cycle of breakup and unofficially getting back together for 9 months, I knew I was doing the right thing, but so scared of living without him and losing contact completly, and above all him forgetting me completely. I posted a treat about 'i missed my ex while I was dating another guy' and actually i was dating two guys (started casual, just dinner and icebreaking convo). but it was just temporary thing. Of course, I miss my ex. it's been less than two weeks of NC and I've been with him (of course on and off because of fightings) for a year. but now all the hatred and anger against him is gone. honestly, I'm not ready to hear about his new girlfriend, if he started dating too, and I don't want my ex to know about my new love life either. because I still care about him. I hurt him enough already and I do not want him to feel miserable, but at the same time, I'm not ready to see him happy without me. but that's his life and I'll just wish him a good luck. If he ever contacts me, I thought i would ignore him, but I'll be nice to him. but I won't harbor the thoughts of getting back together. I've got a nice guy who adores me and I feel happy with him. so the moral of this story is... plz walk away from a dysfunctional relationship even if he's an awesome guy. the relationship is not working for a reason and another person who's a much better fit for you must be waiting for you. everybody's scared of an unknown future, I was like that too. but I'm very glad that I was brave enough to end something I was obssessed about no matter how much pain it gave me. good luck to everyone!!
CailinPig Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 That's great! Well done! I'm very happy for you! How long have you been seeing this new guy?
CailinPig Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Sounds like my ex's situation... Y, That could be you too in a while...
kizik Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Of course, I miss my ex. it's been less than two weeks of NC and I've been with him (of course on and off because of fightings) for a year. but now all the hatred and anger against him is gone. I too would be feeling good if someone new expressed interest in me. It's a good way to start feeling like you're "over" the ex. However, the reality may be that your attention is distracted from the old situation and there are still feelings there. Not to rain on your parade at all, I'm just saying that my ex had a habit of jumping from R to R like she was island-hopping... great for the ego, but terrible for the self-reflection part... "What did I do to contribute to the breakup?" is what she should be asking herself, and taking time to really work on the things in her that always end up pushing great guys like me, away. I wouldn't be surprised if she's w/ someone new already (it's been two months), because that's how she copes with loss... finding some new sucker to praise her insecure azz. But I don't care, b/c I know her true colors. It took 3 years to see them, but they came out in full force. The new guy is going to be smitten, and heck, they may even be happy. But I guess it comes down to this: she don't love me for who I am? Wants someone who is NOT me? Go ahead, darling. You're not who I thought you were.
Author alialui Posted June 25, 2008 Author Posted June 25, 2008 I agree with kiznik on many parts of your opinion. yeah, getting attention from whom I had good chemistry with is really distracting my attention from my ex. I was spending too much time worrying and being sad about what had happened and what I had to do to make things work. I tried to work things out for 9 months, but didn't come up with solution. we couldn't get back together, but I really think i did my best to work things out. I didn't just walk away, because I had a strong faith that my ex was my soulmate and afraid that I wouldn't meet anybody who could make me feel that way if I left him. My ex and I had several rebounds too, but that only made us feel how much we missed each other. but this time was different. as I said before, I started dating 2 guys after starting NC. They just came into my life like it was a magic. both of them were good on paper guys, like my ex, but I didn't feel any chemistry with one, but had a spark with the other one. we had our first date last wk, but he had to go back for for 3 wks, but he texts me or talk to me online everyday. You cannot forget about your ex if you are with someone you are not really interested in. but if you meet someone very special, that would make it easier for you to be over your ex. however, my ex is still very meaningful to me. he is an awesome guy, but we just did not know how to solve problems in a mature way and ended up hurting each other. I really miss him, but what's the point? I know I cannot be happy with him. at least not now! if we happened to meet again and start dating again like whole new people, it might work out. but too many things are said and done. it's over period I really appreciate that I met someone I'm able to like and who adores me. I'm very excited about my new relationship:)
kizik Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 They just came into my life like it was a magic...I'm very excited about my new relationship:) I'm happy for you. Jealous, but happy. Just IMO, guys are like vultures: always hanging around, everywhere, waiting for fresh prey. I wouldn't call it "magic," more like they have penises. Not to discount the fact that you are prob. an awesome chick. Just know that there are always guys waiting in the wings. Chicks are always taken and not so easy to get.
ate_the_paint Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Just IMO, guys are like vultures... Haha..I live in town filled with cougars....
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