bayouboi Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I've been reading others' stories here @ LS since March of this year and the stories plus the responses have helped me cope a good bit through my situation. My story sounds a lot like others' and I don't even have to go through details like I used to want to when I first came here but never did. The short version is she left me to be with another man who left his wife and child. We, fortunately, had no children. Well, I recently found out through his wife that contacts me regularly that he's already looking to find someone else (he has a history of cheating on his wife). Now I'm hoping that my wife was invested in him and that this will crush her the way she crushed me once she finds out. And I gotta admit, watching it unfold feels pretty good. I'm looking forward to the day he gets his, too.
wareagle Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I to am waiting for that day that Karma rears it's ugly head and eats my ex alive!!!! Ha Ha, you didn't deserve me bitch~
sunshinegirl Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I have to admit, that's pretty sweet. I am waiting for the karma gods myself...
kizik Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Karma doesn't always come, people. Sometimes they find happiness right after you, and never give you a second thought. Us telling ourselves how miserable they will be without us, come crawling back, etc., is just hope. Lying to ourselves. No need for it. Don't think about them and how they will regret everything. It's bullsh*t and it's not our business.
luvmy2ns Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I don't hear anyone wishing for anyone to "come crawling back." All I hear is happiness at the notion that a lowlife got what they had coming to 'em. And yes - when someone has been used and abused just so their so-called "partner" can have a fling, it IS their business. JMO.
sunshinegirl Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Kiz, karma may or may not come. For me, it's a helpful coping mechanism for the stage I am in. When I reach the 'enlightened state of indifference' I won't care. And I reached that point with all previous exes, two of whom I was wishing for *serious* karma to kick their asses. In the short run, imagining karma/justice helped me cope. I appreciate your harsh reality stance, AND I don't see anything wrong with people in pain wanting the universe to right itself. BTW, karma is slightly different than wanting them to come back. For me, anyway. Edited to add: agree totally w/ luvmy2ns.
Nevermind Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I don't beliebe my ex will regret it. But I am very sure he won't find happiness. Of course, this means that he will never find my idea of happiness...but why would I be interested in any other kind? Karma...I don't really believe in it, but it's a nice idea sometimes..
foolednm Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 We can all hope for Karma to kick in. I really want her to feel the pain that she has caused me. She does NOT deserve to be happy. She is mean, cruel and does things to intentionally hurt me. She used to give me a lot of love when things were good, but whenever she got mad, for any little thing, she would take it all away and not answer the phone, not open her door when I went over, and was "too busy" to see me for days or weeks. I gave everything to her, but it was never enough. She does not deserve to be happy. I hope the new guy dumps her and treats her like ****. I hope he hurts her and makes her feel the pain she has inflicted on me. Fu****g bitch!!
ate_the_paint Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Well, isn't wishing bad karma on someone just going to make someone wish bad karma onto you? Isn't that how it works? Turn the other cheek...
kyta Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Well, isn't wishing bad karma on someone just going to make someone wish bad karma onto you? Isn't that how it works? Turn the other cheek... I do agree, i have wished for her unhappiness to ease my pain, but when i thnk about it now i wish her well really, i hope she finds her happiness out there, she is human after all, we all have faults, we are just hurting, and we blame them, we are all at fault in our lives, i wish she was diffrent and this didnt happen this way, but i cant change it now, what done is done, but i dont wish karma on her, i wish her happiness, joy, and hope she finds what she really wants in life, we will all have to deal with episode in our lives, and deep down do you really wish to see some one in pain for your satisfaction? Everyone in this world will have pain in there live, its garanteed, even our x's have or will feel pain, but to truly love them you wouldnt want to see them suffering, she did what she did and is doing, because that is what she feels she has to, weather it is rite or wrong, and what ever pain it causes me, we have to deal with our own pain and learn from it. Turn the other cheek Sry about that just got carried away.
norajane Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 We can all hope for Karma to kick in. I really want her to feel the pain that she has caused me. She does NOT deserve to be happy. She is mean, cruel and does things to intentionally hurt me. She used to give me a lot of love when things were good, but whenever she got mad, for any little thing, she would take it all away and not answer the phone, not open her door when I went over, and was "too busy" to see me for days or weeks. I gave everything to her, but it was never enough. She does not deserve to be happy. I hope the new guy dumps her and treats her like ****. I hope he hurts her and makes her feel the pain she has inflicted on me. Fu****g bitch!! But that is karma. What you have described is a person who is never satisfied, never happy, always disgruntled. Even if given all the riches in the world by the best guy in the world and the best love in the world, your ex will still be unhappy inside because it's never enough. I believe the Buddhists say that desire is the root of unhappiness - meaning, that feeling that no matter what you have, you always want more, that's what makes people miserable inside. So, rest easy. Your ex may have the world in the palm of her hand, but she's not really enjoying it, never content.
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Wow norajane, very profound. I think the best thing the OP could do is to let go of it, after it's all said and done. I may seem like a smartass on here and alot of people give me flak for hitting them with truth. but i do that because you dont want people to make stupid choices they would otherwise not do. The thing is karma is a nice thing but you shouldnt pray for vengence too much. because sometimes it can consume you. If you let it. I can forgive. I think alot of people that was betrayed has the capacity for forgiveness. The wounds are still fresh by all means gloat and cheer for karma. But they'll come a day when you let go. move on. Just be ready.
orangehose Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Karma doesn't always come, people. Sometimes they find happiness right after you, and never give you a second thought. Us telling ourselves how miserable they will be without us, come crawling back, etc., is just hope. Lying to ourselves. No need for it. Don't think about them and how they will regret everything. It's bullsh*t and it's not our business. You're right that they could very well be perfectly happy from the moment they leave us to the end of their lives, and certainly that they may never regret their behavior - but what if, based on what you know of them, they have serious issues that will mostly likely recur in future relationships? Ok, maybe telling ourselves that our exes have serious issues is also a form of flattering rationalization, but maybe it's not. Maybe they DO have issues, issues that don't affect their daily functioning / happiness, but will nevertheless rear their ugly heads from time to time. I guess this is the kind of karma I believe in.
kizik Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 ...what if, based on what you know of them, they have serious issues that will mostly likely recur in future relationships? Right. While I obviously do not subscribe to the natural karma theory, what you say, orange, makes sense. In some ways I am unrealistic when I assume, through thinking during my day, that "boy, my ex must be sooo happy to finally be without me." Well, getting rid of me won't solve all her problems. I was thinking today how constantly discontent my ex is, stressed over money, worried about everyone liking her... things that have nothing to do with my presence, or lack thereof, in her life. She's going to have a tumultuous life based upon the kind of person she is. This realization does not give me satisfaction in itself- the satisfaction comes from knowing that I am no longer subject to her stressing out. That is to say, she may be happier without me, but I'm 100% sure she aint happy in general. And she prob. never will be. And I don't have to deal with trying to cheer her up all the time, just to get blamed instead of thanked for all my effort. Bitch!
Trialbyfire Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 But that is karma. What you have described is a person who is never satisfied, never happy, always disgruntled. Even if given all the riches in the world by the best guy in the world and the best love in the world, your ex will still be unhappy inside because it's never enough. I couldn't agree with you more nj!
ate_the_paint Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 ... And I don't have to deal with trying to cheer her up all the time, just to get blamed instead of thanked for all my effort. Bitch! Well said. Eloquent and graceful, yet very subtle. Just think about how happy all of those cheaters out there will be for the rest of their lives! Now I don't have to deal with always waiting for her, while I gave her everything I had, just so she could go and give it up to someone else. Bitch!
justaman99 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 That is to say, she may be happier without me, but I'm 100% sure she aint happy in general. And she prob. never will be. And I don't have to deal with trying to cheer her up all the time, just to get blamed instead of thanked for all my effort. Sounds like we dated the exact same girl.
kizik Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Maybe we did! I'm gonna KILL you, bro! Ha... sorry, just needed a laugh. Just, I always look forward to your posts but they're so goddamn SHORT... open up to us, Teddy Bear!
justaman99 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Maybe we did! I'm gonna KILL you, bro! Ha... sorry, just needed a laugh. Just, I always look forward to your posts but they're so goddamn SHORT... open up to us, Teddy Bear! Yeah I will admit I have been VERY quiet lately and just reading. I just have a lot going on including dating. I think another part of is I am so much better today that I don't need to come here as much. It pains me in a sense to come here and read of new experiences and of new members beginning their suffering and searching for answers. Life rolls on. I used to pop in on this place many times a day, now it's once every couple days. Maybe I'll start a poem or creative writing thread.
Author bayouboi Posted June 26, 2008 Author Posted June 26, 2008 Well if it makes the naysayers feel better she got the last laugh because last night for the first time in a couple months I had powerful dreams about her confronting me with all her newfound happiness. It was strong enough to wake me each time and usually when I wake from a dream and go right back to sleep, I dream something new, but last night each time I went back to sleep it was a new scenario of her newfound happiness. So while I'm glad to see her getting hers, I also realize I'm still struggling with my own torment.
Trialbyfire Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I will be the last person to be a naysayer about karma kicking a cheater around the block! Newfound happiness is nothing, compared to what she's going to feel when he replaces her.
luvmy2ns Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I think what a person should do to be mentally healthy is to NOT dwell on hoping that karma will kick in. However, I can totally understand enjoying watching it do its work when it does.
Geishawhelk Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 But that is karma. What you have described is a person who is never satisfied, never happy, always disgruntled. Even if given all the riches in the world by the best guy in the world and the best love in the world, your ex will still be unhappy inside because it's never enough. I believe the Buddhists say that desire is the root of unhappiness - meaning, that feeling that no matter what you have, you always want more, that's what makes people miserable inside. As a Buddhist, I can confirm this. I started a couple of threads in the Religion and Spirituality forum, so I'm not going to whang off here about such mattters...(it would be seriously OT....) But Karma - or Kamma, depending on which traditions you follow - is not a simple case of "what goes around comes around". It's not what happens that's the Karma. It's what happens inside your head, that's the karma. So, from a strictly Buddhist point of view - the longer you all hang on to Anger, resentment, Jealousy and feelings of vengefulness - the more bad kamma you're setting up for yourselves too. Now I know that sounds mean, but let me put it another way. If you could choose between feeling angry, resentful and jealous, or happy, carefree and liberated, which ones would you rather be feeling? So, assuming you've all pretty much well opted for the second one - let me tell you that any frame of Mind is a choice. You can let go of it all, and liberate yourselves from the cr*p. It's just a case of being really willing to just drop it all, and let it all go. Thanks for listening.
luvmy2ns Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 As a Buddhist, I can confirm this. I started a couple of threads in the Religion and Spirituality forum, so I'm not going to whang off here about such mattters...(it would be seriously OT....) But Karma - or Kamma, depending on which traditions you follow - is not a simple case of "what goes around comes around". It's not what happens that's the Karma. It's what happens inside your head, that's the karma. So, from a strictly Buddhist point of view - the longer you all hang on to Anger, resentment, Jealousy and feelings of vengefulness - the more bad kamma you're setting up for yourselves too. Now I know that sounds mean, but let me put it another way. If you could choose between feeling angry, resentful and jealous, or happy, carefree and liberated, which ones would you rather be feeling? So, assuming you've all pretty much well opted for the second one - let me tell you that any frame of Mind is a choice. You can let go of it all, and liberate yourselves from the cr*p. It's just a case of being really willing to just drop it all, and let it all go. Thanks for listening. That's why I said it's not healthy to hope for the karma, but okay to enjoy it when it comes around.
Trialbyfire Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 People cycle through the five stages of grief, upon the cessation of a relationship. One of the stages is anger. As long as you don't remain trapped in any one stage, cycling into obsessive behaviour, it's all good!
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