orangehose Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 So, why keep these things. Is there a point, at all? For now I'm keeping most of the love letters. Reason #1 being that they make me angry at his about-face, and anger is a better feeling than longing. Reason #2 being that they remind me of the transience of emotions, including love. One day I did wipe my butt with one of his love notes, however. Literally.
FloraPost Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I burned tons of old printed out email. I deleted a lot of old email off my system. I cleaned every single digital photo with him in it off my computer and burned them on a disk and filed it. (Lots of those have my kids' pics in them too.) I trashed a few things. Only a few because I only HAD so few. I kept what I wanted and ditched what I didn't. Doesn't have to be an either/or.
ianandris Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Well, this is the way I see it. If you're the type to keep journals, a record of your past, you'll regret it if you burn it. Someday, those mementos won't mean anything to you anymore, but they will represent a period of your life that made you who you are now. I know I'd be kicking myself for getting rid of the correspondences I had with my ex years down the line. HOWEVER, if you don't keep a journal, aren't the sentimental type, don't care about keeping records, why in God's name would you keep anything around that puts you in any kind of pain? In that case, burn it, burn it, burn it. Without hesitation. It's just paper.
porter218 Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Are all of you people serious:rolleyes:? We are not talking about jumping into a time machine and erasing his past. We are only talking about material sh*t. WTF? I had absolutely no idea people hung on to old mementos so tight. Clear out your closets ya"ll, seriously!
ianandris Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Porter: some people, believe it or not, like to archive their lives. I don't keep trinkets, but documents are a different story. Nothing wrong with it.
sumdude Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Evryone has thier own way... I did some ritual burning... love letters and cards... a few pictures.. pretty much everything else from my life with the ex wife is in boxes under the basement stairs... 8 years of my life. I have one PC with the digital photos...including the wedding pix... and the negatives from the wedding which she felt compelled to give me. There's a second PC with all the digital photos on it, I never turn it on. Hard to say what i'll do with it all over time. It was real, for quite a time in my life there was love between us... now it's gone... Actually, I haven't though about that stuff laying around for a while till this thread popped up. Do what works for you.. maybe keep some control in the heat of the moment... just because.
ate_the_paint Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I agree: do not hold on to the woman, but do not get rid of an entire chapter of your life because of her. That's also dependence. During these years you had memories, right? They made you become the person you are, and destroying a large part of your past might turn out to be a bad decision. I did, and I don't know if I will regret it once. But with the pain...it didn't help me much. I missed him, not his reminders. Good point. If I were to get rid of all the photos of our relationship I would be pressing "delete" on six years of my life. I lived in Korea for two, travelled around, drove across North America twice...I don't want to forget that stuff but right now every single one of those memories hurts like hell. So maybe pack up that stuff for a better day?
LikeCharlotte Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Hi kiz, apparently I'm late on this one. First, pick one thing and put it away then have a burn fest. I didn't keep a single solitary scrap. Nothing, nada, ziltch all deleted, destroyed or tossed in the trash from meaningful paintings right down to the raggy t-shirt and toohbrush he left behind. All gone. If I find anything I missed I'll get rid of that too. I didn't go so far as to burn things I simply put them in the garbage. I didn't feel the need to get crazy about it. The only things that I didn't destroy were a couple books that were gifts. I like books and they are good for trading. I wont even remember which ones they were... wait I don't remember right now. HA! Nice. Now for boundires... everyone needs boundries they are healthy. I set firm boundries but that doesn't mean that I have to be steadfast all the time. Each situation is different and sometimes things change. There is a marked difference between setting boundries and douchebaggery.
mollers Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I personally have had to get rid of most reminders, or they will do just that, remind me of him, and I don't want to be reminded of him. I didn't burn it, I just threw it away (bit like he threw me away). I also threw away anything he bought me, which turned out to be quite amusing, as he bought me most of my underwear so following my fit of temper, I found that I had no knickers left Go for it Kizik.
iwish Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I wouldn't burn them Kizik. I've been through heartache before with another girl and kept all the memories in a suitcase round my dads house. I can look back at them now with no problems and i'm glad i kept them. I've done the same with the recent ex. One day i will be indifferent and will be glad i kept the letters, etc..
Nevermind Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 paint: In your case, yes. Definately. It's your past, too. You lived it, not only your ex.
FloraPost Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I wish I had more to burn. Just been that sort of day! I should have paced it a bit so that the catharsis of burning would have lasted. Guess maybe I should post more on the Post Here thread. Ah well.
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