breeder83 Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 my wife of over 20 years seems to be searching on the internet for old boyfriends...at first I didn't think much about this, but lately(last several years) she is compulsive about the net, to the point that she won't even get out of her chair unless the house was on fire..I ask her what she's doing and she always responds, "she's playing a game"...but the other night I heard her talking to herself..something about.."you big boy you" and, "don't worry, my husband's a moron, he'll never even suspect"..first it hurt because she was right, I never was suspecting, but damn, if I hadn't inadvertantly heard these words myself, I would have never known....all our kids are grown and sure the passion has definitely lapsed a bit, but I never would have guessed she would do this to me...should I confront her with what I heard (which will escalate to a major argument I'm sure), should I sneak around and try to hear more before I jump to conclusions, or should I be seeking legal counsel?... ps wifey just went on a major diet and seems to be sticking to it...am I overreacting or should I be worriedabout this as well?...
Nomad1 Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Just ignore her and start thinking for yourself from now on. You know she will do what she wants. Start doing what you want. Prepare yourself for a new life. There is no point arguing about it. Nomad1
Billy Bob Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Yep, she's wandering... I wouldn't even let her know you have any idea what is going on, play smart. install a keylogger program on her PC (a couple free ones on the net), secretly start getting your ducks in a row, check the phone records.. See a lawyer and start drafting up papers. Don't let her know what is going on! Gather the evidence, play dumb and just bam! Drop divorce papers on her lap. Trust me this will be much more impactful then groveling for her love like many do here. Have her served with divorce papers and then go to counseling if you want. Take control, don't let her control you. Do not let her know you suspect anything!
BobTingle Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Now, I am no expert but it sounds like the wifey is looking for some excitement, so yea you should be very worried. I would def confront her about this and go from there. Try to get out of her what she searching for, who knows you may be into it as well!
Billy Bob Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 A keylogger will record what sites she is at and everything she types and it is hidden from her view. I found a good free one on the net and tried it out (don't remember the name). I really think you should hit her with at least legal seperation papers, get that process going. She will be mad, lie, tell you what you want to hear. You can even play with it for a while...after you get some hard proof (make sure you have the papers ready to serve first) start questioning her on some little issues..ask her if she is having an affair.. she will deny, deny, deny! Once she has gotten to the ppoint where she is cheating on you, trust me, you don't want her back... even if you did there is probably too much damage done to the foundation of the marriage and it will fall apart later..
Billy Bob Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Now, I am no expert but it sounds like the wifey is looking for some excitement, so yea you should be very worried. I would def confront her about this and go from there. Try to get out of her what she searching for, who knows you may be into it as well! Then he gives away his element of surprise... from what he has told us, it sounds like she is having an emotional and or (probably) physical affair with someone. Why confront her now? That starts the battle.. For now he can gather evidence, and file divorce or legal seperation papers (get ready to serve them)... If my hunch is right and she's running around on him, it would feel so good to know what she's doing and just blindside her with legal seperation or divorce paperwork. Cut off her funding/ close joint accounts, etc.. (all at the time of the legal seperation paperwork). Don't let her know and give up your element of surprise.. right now you are in control, because she thinks you are an idiot.
RollTide Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 You sound like a friend I had once. His wife did the same thing, hooked up with an old boyfriend, and filed for divorce. Took him for everything. He ended up a drunk with no job, no family, and homeless. Fortunately for him, he found a woman at the shelter who took an interest in his recovery. He ended up marrying her, then she inherited a few million dollars. So quit your whining and ditch the broad.
Author breeder83 Posted June 26, 2008 Author Posted June 26, 2008 hadn't thought of that...great idea...I'll get on that right away...would like lots of documentation if and when the day comes I want to go..
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